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Old 06-14-2009, 06:09 PM
 
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I would be very disappointed if my children chose another religion. But I do not think I could really FORBID them from believing what they believe.

I could refuse to transport them to services. I could refuse to allow them to enroll in a religious school for their new religion(I am not a fan of religious schools in general).

But I don't see how I could control what they truly believe.
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Old 06-14-2009, 06:10 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
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Quote:
Originally Posted by charolastra00 View Post
I guess we read "No I will not" in completely different ways. To me, it means no, she will not.
Again, the "no" would refer to allowing a child under 18 to convert NOT the idea that no peace would be allowed. Apples and oranges.
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Old 06-14-2009, 06:13 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
I would be very disappointed if my children chose another religion. But I do not think I could really FORBID them from believing what they believe.

I could refuse to transport them to services. I could refuse to allow them to enroll in a religious school for their new religion(I am not a fan of religious schools in general).

But I don't see how I could control what they truly believe.
Exactly.
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Old 06-14-2009, 06:15 PM
 
Location: (WNY)
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Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
Wow - I did not read that at all! I thought she said that "she hoped" they would find comfort in the religion that she also found comfort in. That's a far cry from "they are not allowed any peace"

I would guess that MOST parents who are religious (regardless of their specific religion) would have that same hope.
Good Catch!!!! I have a reading degree and I thought I read that too... must have been a typo somewhere....

I TOO am CATHOLIC and HOPE (yes to make things CLEAR I typed the word HOPE ) my children will continue on with their Catholic Faith as they get older.... I will be honest and say I will be hurt if they do choose a different path... I cannot lie. I know my mother was, and is hurt to know my sister is a Buddhist... had a Buddhist wedding in the woods rather than a Catholic Church by my uncle a Catholic Priest who has married almost all of our family members..... I can't help but feel this way and you can call me selfish or what you will.... but I feel it is part of my job as a mother to foster a sense of faith in my children.... OUR Faith is Catholicism.... We are Irish Catholics.... from a family with two priests and a nun.... strong roots... so.... yes.... I want my kids to be Catholic.... will I love them regardless of what they choose as ADULTS? Yes... will I forever pray they return if they so choose to leave? most likely... just as my mother does....
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Old 06-14-2009, 06:15 PM
 
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I would, and I have. I was raised Catholic, including my schooling, as was my husband. We started out raising our kids the same way, but ended up leaving two parishes for different reasons. My oldest asked to go to a Catholic HS, and we agreed. My middle had some good friends who were Lutheran, and went to youth group activities with them. He ended up registering as a parishioner there when he was 14, after the pastor contacted me and got my permission.

The youngest has no religious affiliation. I told my parents we've given them one Catholic, one Lutheran, and one agnostic.
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Old 06-14-2009, 06:22 PM
 
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Originally Posted by 33458 View Post
Yes, I would. If she were a teenager and had spent a great deal of time considering her beliefs.

(And really - there is no "allowing", one way or the other. We can't control a mind, only the appearance of behavior. What you mean is will we welcome the choice, brainwash or force concealment?)
Good point. I mean, sure, you can make a kid pray...but if they don't believe it, then aren't they just reciting some words that have no meaning to them?
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Old 06-14-2009, 06:44 PM
 
Location: NYC
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Originally Posted by victorianpunk View Post
Good point. I mean, sure, you can make a kid pray...but if they don't believe it, then aren't they just reciting some words that have no meaning to them?
That was me growing up. My parents forced me to go to Catholic school and church every Sunday. I grew up resenting the church. I do like the morality it brings to the family. It is amazing what my kids learned in the couple of years they attended Catholic school. It is amazing and wonderful to look at.

If they found that in another relligion, why would I deny them that?
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Old 06-14-2009, 06:51 PM
 
Location: (WNY)
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Originally Posted by victorianpunk View Post
Good point. I mean, sure, you can make a kid pray...but if they don't believe it, then aren't they just reciting some words that have no meaning to them?
For me, I feel Catholicism is party of my family history. I don't know if you know anything about Irish history but so much of it is because the Irish were CATHOLIC... I want my children to know that. So much is known about the Jews and the Holocaust but not much is known about the Irish and the treatment of them by the British and the events leading up to the Potato Famine.... They were not allowed to practice their religion.... They had to hide Priests behinds screens when they said mass (mass in secret btw) so they were not arrested- so nobody coould tell who they were.... Anyway.... I want my children to know this history. I think if they know the history as well as the faith... they will understand MORE about why our Faith is so important....
Great Famine (Ireland) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Act of Union (1800) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Penal Laws (Ireland) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I don't mean to come across obnoxious... this is just my reasons and for my kids.... but it is important to me and my family... our history... and these are the reasons why...
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Old 06-14-2009, 06:59 PM
 
Location: Australia
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This is a vexing question.

Our family attends a christian church and to me faith is both individual (my faith) and family and also community. So there is a degree of expectation on our part that the children participate.

We try to make it a life thing.

However we are mindful that as they grow it must become their decision so we are yet to get to that point where they decide this or that. We do try to make sure that church is enjoyable for them. Also we are not super dogmatic about it. Recently one child had an extra sporting fixuture scheduled to happen at the same time as church. It normally happens on a saturday but got rained out so they put it on a sunday. So we said OK they can go.

If our child came out and said that they wanted to be totally different religeon then I would I have to confess be worried, upset, concerned.
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Old 06-14-2009, 07:17 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
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Quote:
Originally Posted by victorianpunk View Post
Good point. I mean, sure, you can make a kid pray...but if they don't believe it, then aren't they just reciting some words that have no meaning to them?
Technically speaking, you can't "make" them pray either but teaching them and exposing them to generations of rituals that have provided comfort to many, can provide stability and comfort. Not always, and people do sometimes seek that peace and comfort in different ways once they get older. Interestingly, sometimes people return from whence they came as they age and sometimes, as they become parents themselves.
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