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Old 06-14-2009, 08:58 PM
 
Location: New Creek, WV
275 posts, read 707,811 times
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I would have no issue with it. Our family is very diverse religiously, and I would tell them to follow their heart. Sometimes you have to work through things. People get confused, have to find their own way and, if meant to be, God will speak to them one way or another. My mother converted to Christianity when I was 13 and I was steadfast in my Jewish beliefs. I respectfully went to church with her for years, but I never backed down from MY personal beliefs or allowed someone to change my mind for me.

Kids, especially teens, have a mind of their own, whether right or wrong, and all grow up. Perhaps they need to find what works for them, and if that's not what the parents teach (as far as religion goes), then it's a personal choice and one only they can make.

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Old 06-15-2009, 12:20 AM
 
6,351 posts, read 9,977,087 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skbs View Post
For me, I feel Catholicism is party of my family history. I don't know if you know anything about Irish history but so much of it is because the Irish were CATHOLIC... I want my children to know that. So much is known about the Jews and the Holocaust but not much is known about the Irish and the treatment of them by the British and the events leading up to the Potato Famine.... They were not allowed to practice their religion.... They had to hide Priests behinds screens when they said mass (mass in secret btw) so they were not arrested- so nobody coould tell who they were.... Anyway.... I want my children to know this history. I think if they know the history as well as the faith... they will understand MORE about why our Faith is so important....
Great Famine (Ireland) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Act of Union (1800) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Penal Laws (Ireland) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I don't mean to come across obnoxious... this is just my reasons and for my kids.... but it is important to me and my family... our history... and these are the reasons why...

I understand what you are saying in the sense that it is a family tradition. I was raised catholic for awhile anyway, until my parents split up.

Thing is, religion is not just a cultural thing, it is also a belief thing. I mean, what if a kid came out and said "I get the culturall and historical part of it, but this religion, as a faith, does not fulfill my spiritual needs"?

I was at that same place and hence, I converted. Granted, my father, who got custody of me, is not a religious person and is more of a deist then anything else.

I understand my family's Italian Catholic heritage..except for the whole "you can wack ten guys and use cement shoes on them, and then go to a Christianing the next day" part of Italian Catholicism (needless to say I'm joking) but as a living faith, it did nothing for me personally.

But I still have a little Madonna that was owned by my great grandmother, made in Sicily circa 1920.
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Old 06-15-2009, 12:27 AM
 
6,351 posts, read 9,977,087 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
I would be very disappointed if my children chose another religion. But I do not think I could really FORBID them from believing what they believe.

I could refuse to transport them to services. I could refuse to allow them to enroll in a religious school for their new religion(I am not a fan of religious schools in general).

But I don't see how I could control what they truly believe.

But what if they simply wanted to practice another religion in your home? I mean, if a kid converted to Zen Buddhism, would you get angry and throw away the meditation mats:


as if they were drugs and/or alchohol?
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Old 06-15-2009, 12:42 AM
 
2,542 posts, read 6,914,887 times
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I would try to have them convert after finishing high school--after one year of college even better. Not that I would be against said religion change (except for extremism), but I would encourage them to wait because it is a very important decision. I would expect them to read multiple books on the religion, as well as attend that religion's functions on a regular basis before actually and formally switching over. All of this not to discourage them, but to hammer home the idea that this isn't just a shirt you wear for a few years, but a life-long decision that should shape your morals and decision making in all facets of your life. In your later teens, you are capable of deciding a complex decision as this, but it is also easy for you to get swept up in "great" ideas and schemes and such.

But how do people feel if their child decided to be an athesist?

"Each one prays to God according to his own light." -Ghandi
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Old 06-15-2009, 02:06 AM
 
Location: Michigan
12,711 posts, read 13,476,501 times
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I'm an atheist and if my kids wanted to join a religion as teenagers, I'd certainly give my argument against it, but there's not much I could do about it. If I found the religion's tenets offensive enough I might refrain from driving them to the services, things like that. But you can't order someone to simply change their belief. It doesn't work, to put it simply.
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Old 06-15-2009, 05:57 AM
 
2,884 posts, read 5,931,267 times
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I'm also an atheist, and even at age six, I encourage my children to make their own decision about what they believe. I have explained what different people believe, as best as I know them, and they have religious friends.

To be completely honest, I truly believe that the best way to encourage my children to believe in religion would be to deny them the choice. By making it "no big deal" from day one, I respect their choice, and at the same time show strength and confidence in my own.
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Old 06-15-2009, 06:21 AM
 
467 posts, read 983,830 times
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imho they are too young to make an informed decision. That is similar to why minors are protected from making contracts, etc.

If they don't want to follow what the parents want to follow, what are you really going to do about it? Beat them? Disown them? Guilt trip them? Newsflash: it will only drive them further away (personal experience). What ends up happening is 2 things (while they are kids, as adults they'll just do what they want now that they are free of you):

1. They'll totally fight tooth and nail and create all sorts of drama and conflict within your household in an attempt to get you to lay off. Possibly becoming total rebels, meaning they do all these things away from home that they know mom and dad wouldn't let them do if they knew about it.

or 2. They'll give in and "play the part" just to keep you off their backs until they can leave home and do what they heck they want.

They may act like they believe and follow what you want and go thru the motions, but inside are just waiting for it to be over and counting the days when they can stop doing this. Not all but many.

Last edited by MrMom2; 06-15-2009 at 06:31 AM..
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Old 06-15-2009, 06:30 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
546 posts, read 1,678,719 times
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Quote:
But how do people feel if their child decided to be an athesist?
Atheism is part of the belief spectrum. You cannot force a person to believe or not believe.

A lot of parents seem to think they have this control over kids when it comes to faith and religion, when in fact all we can do is guide our children. While we may have more "control" when they are younger, by bringing them with us to church, and putting them into a lot of religious activities, by the time a child is in their teens and college bound, we have no control in this particular area. To believe so is to be in denial. We can not force our children to believe what we believe. And I have seen the more one pushes, the further their children are pushed away. The best you can do is to explain why you believe the way you do, but to understand in the end, their choice is their own.
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Old 06-15-2009, 06:36 AM
 
467 posts, read 983,830 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyme4878 View Post
...But how do people feel if their child decided to be an athesist? "Each one prays to God according to his own light." -Ghandi
Ghandi is right.

Being an Athiest, or Jewish, or whatever is their right to believe what they want, not just tell people what they want to hear, which is what many people end up doing to avoid an unwanted conflict/conversation that really isn't up for debate.

Quote:
Originally Posted by djacques View Post
I'm an atheist and if my kids wanted to join a religion as teenagers, I'd certainly give my argument against it, but there's not much I could do about it. If I found the religion's tenets offensive enough I might refrain from driving them to the services, things like that. But you can't order someone to simply change their belief. It doesn't work, to put it simply.
Exactly. You can't force a person to believe your way. How many Jews pretended to not be during WW2 to save themselves and their families? People will tell you whatever you wanna hear, but what they beleive in may be totally different. Unless your Professor X, no one can control another's thoughts.
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Old 06-15-2009, 06:37 AM
 
11,642 posts, read 23,904,587 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by victorianpunk View Post
But what if they simply wanted to practice another religion in your home? I mean, if a kid converted to Zen Buddhism, would you get angry and throw away the meditation mats:


as if they were drugs and/or alchohol?
I don't think so. After all what harm can come from inanimate objects?

I have not faced this situation but I really don't think you can force a teen's heart and mind to believe what you want him to believe. I would be disappointed but I don't think I would forbid it, because I don't think you really can forbid a deeply held belief.

As to those asking about atheism-I feel the same way. I would be disappointed but there is no way to force a person in his teens to think the way you want them to think. Kids that age have developed independent thought.
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