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Old 06-15-2009, 05:48 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
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I don't know that we had a curfew per se at that age. I just knew where they were and what they were doing there. What time they needed to be home depended on the circumstance. If we were sitting in our yard with some of the other parents and they were at someone elses home playing games then they came home when the parents left our house. They were either doing that, sitting with us at the fire pit roasting marshmallows, inside our house or sleeping over somewhere else. That was pretty much it.....
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Old 06-15-2009, 05:49 PM
 
Location: NE Oklahoma
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Depends on where they are. When I lived in town and they were off playing with the neighbor's kids, my rule has always been when the street lights come on you need to be in the house, if you are spending the night away with someone else, in their house. NOT roaming around. We had to stop the playing with one little girl that lived about 2 blocks away because her mom just didn't see that was reasonable and let them roam after dark just ANYWHERE...

I don't think 9:00 or 9:30 is unreasonable for younger teens unless they are at the movies or some such where it ends later and they are getting a ride home.
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Old 06-15-2009, 08:14 PM
 
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Thanks yall. Sorry to just be getting back to this, but we had a girl scout event to attend.

They are going to be in 9th grade. We live in an apartment complex. I like all of my son's friends and know all but a few of them. There's not TONS to do right here where we live. Swimming pool, mcdonald's, tennis, skate boarding, etc. The fire dept lets the kids come over whenever they want to play basketball.
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Old 06-15-2009, 08:54 PM
 
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I agree with those who say it all depends on what they're doing and who they're with. 9:30 or 10pm is reasonable but if they're safe in someone's care on a weekend night, it could be later.
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Old 06-15-2009, 09:00 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NicoleJ View Post
Thanks yall. Sorry to just be getting back to this, but we had a girl scout event to attend.

They are going to be in 9th grade. We live in an apartment complex. I like all of my son's friends and know all but a few of them. There's not TONS to do right here where we live. Swimming pool, mcdonald's, tennis, skate boarding, etc. The fire dept lets the kids come over whenever they want to play basketball.

For your situation I would have to say home by dark for 14 yr olds. I agree to give them both the same curfew and if the one screws it up he should be grounded for a couple days and then given the same curfew again. Should he do it again, make it a couple days longer and so on until he gets the picture.
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Old 06-17-2009, 07:22 AM
 
Location: Victoria TX
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kerowyn View Post
could I suggest at least 30 minutes to hour before city/town curfew. Here is is something like 10pm so I would put it about 9pm for both boys with a great understanding that any errors will cost time and personal curfew will be earlier. Have them both sign a contract stating that and diplay contract where they will see everyday along with a copy of the city curfew laws.
.
Contracts signed under duress are unenforceable, and null and void.
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Old 06-17-2009, 09:45 AM
 
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Actually any contract signed by a minor is void in a court.

I do however think that a contract between parents and children are good because everything should be explained and clearly spelled out, what the expectations are what the consequences are for not abiding by the contract. Having a clear understanding of what's expected and what will happen if rules are broken, is a simple yet effective way of making sure your expectations are met. They don't have to like it but they need to follow it. It's no different than unwritten rules that parents have.
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Old 06-17-2009, 10:02 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skahar View Post
Actually any contract signed by a minor is void in a court.

I do however think that a contract between parents and children are good because everything should be explained and clearly spelled out, what the expectations are what the consequences are for not abiding by the contract. Having a clear understanding of what's expected and what will happen if rules are broken, is a simple yet effective way of making sure your expectations are met. They don't have to like it but they need to follow it. It's no different than unwritten rules that parents have.
I agree. Even though it is not legally binding it really helps with the "it's not fair" that you are bound to hear. It is alot easier to say "well it IS fair. It's what you agreed to do."

With teens it is alot easier to deal with them if the expectations are set in advance.
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Old 06-17-2009, 11:42 AM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
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Depends upon what they're doing. I'm fine with my kids coming home for dinner then going out for a while, to the park or skatepark or other such local place, as long as they're home by dark. If they go to someones home or to a movie, and I'm doing the pick-up (or another parent) they can stay later.
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Old 06-17-2009, 01:34 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
14,785 posts, read 23,978,338 times
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my husbands son is in by 8 pm . no nonsense with us but his mom is very irresponsible and she lets them stay out untill 11 pm and one of his friends has already gotten in trouble several times . I have encouraged my husband to go to court and get him to be with us . she has no concen with this boy and he always talks about how his mom has several different guys she is dating . she does not get home untill three am and he is in the house by himself untill 3 am . so we have a problem there and soon to be resolved i hope . But I would suggest 8 pm .
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