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Old 06-16-2009, 09:55 PM
 
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Her mom is not bossy. She goes back and forth between her mom and dad. Her mom is very punk rockerish. Her dad is the other extreme - very nerdy. She's very much a drama queen; I think she needs more attention or something. I really feel like Marciesmom, that Jada needs to learn to hold her own. However my 9 year old finally couldn't take it anymore and told her to stop being so bossy. I guess it worked.
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Old 06-17-2009, 05:48 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
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This would be a great time to teach your child how to deal with people like that cause she is sure to run into them as an adult! Whenever my kids have the same issues with their friends, I sit them down and talk about what they want to do about it then I let them handle it.

My oldest has a friend who likes to hit people (playfully, but it still hurts!)and she has hit my daughter before, really upsetting her. We discussed what my daughter wanted to do about it (not see her again), and I've supported her decision. So far, it's worked out even though the girl keeps calling her.
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Old 06-17-2009, 12:56 PM
 
Location: Orlando
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NicoleJ View Post
Her mom is not bossy. She goes back and forth between her mom and dad. Her mom is very punk rockerish. Her dad is the other extreme - very nerdy. She's very much a drama queen; I think she needs more attention or something. I really feel like Marciesmom, that Jada needs to learn to hold her own. However my 9 year old finally couldn't take it anymore and told her to stop being so bossy. I guess it worked.

Kids do have a way of taking care of things themselves don't they?
It's hard tho to wait until they do.
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Old 06-17-2009, 01:14 PM
 
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My mom had the same complaint about a friend I had growing up. She felt my friend was super bossy and domineering, but I never felt that way. We clicked because she could say what I couldn't say for myself, and often brought out a stronger side in me.

We've been friends for 35 years now, and she still has the stronger personality, but I never have to worry about where I stand with her, she is a friend unconditionally and never sugar coats what her thoughts are.
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Old 06-17-2009, 05:50 PM
 
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I don't allow a second chance if the kid is rude or bossy. My son had a friend from his preschool years who we didn't see for awhile. He came over with his mom and sister and was bossy and mouthy...to me.

I never had them back at my house.
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Old 06-17-2009, 08:48 PM
 
Location: NYC
16,061 posts, read 26,645,672 times
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Originally Posted by highway29south View Post
This would be a great time to teach your child how to deal with people like that cause she is sure to run into them as an adult! Whenever my kids have the same issues with their friends, I sit them down and talk about what they want to do about it then I let them handle it.
I absolutely agree. We are not always going to like our children's friends. It is a great teaching moment for your child how to deal with girls that treat her that way. Sit her down and talk to her, give her tools to empower herself!!
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Old 06-19-2009, 12:32 AM
 
Location: Victoria TX
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There are two separate issues here, and I'm not clear which one it is.

If the friend is only bossing your daughter, then you just need to grin and bear it. Your daughter has voluntarily entered into a relationship with this best friend, and presumably, it fulfills something that she needs. She will deal with it herself, and she needs, as always, to know that you are on her side whenever she has a personal issue that she asks you to help her to deal with.

If, on the other hand, the friend is bossy to you, you need to make it stop. The first step would be to explain to your daughter that her friend is not honoring her welcome in your home, and either the attitude of the visits will stop. If that does not eliminate your discomfort, you will need to address the friend directly.
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Old 06-19-2009, 08:19 PM
 
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she's only bossy to Jada. My older daughter ended up putting her in her place (I was going to watch Jada and work off her cues) but my older one couldn't take it anymore. I guess only she can tell Jada what to do, lol.
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Old 06-21-2009, 09:17 AM
 
Location: Orlando, Florida
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Gosh....my kids had a couple of really creepy friends while they were growing up. The more I tried to block those relationships, the more my kids gravitated towards them. I finally realized that as kids get older they pick their own friends and who they are comfortable with. Eventually, it is out of your control. Sure, you can keep them out of your house, but you can't block them from being a part of your kid's life outside of your home.

I'm not advocating that parents don't try to guide their kids, but don't beat yourself up if your kids do exactly the opposite of whatever you suggested. It is part of their growing process.
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Old 06-21-2009, 10:01 AM
 
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
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Agree with other posts. Just add that I'd ask my daughter why she likes this particular friend so much. I'm just thinking that maybe this friend has some redeeming qualities that you haven't seen. At the very least it will give you some insight and help you figure out if your daughter really wants to be friends with her or needs help getting out of the relationship.

I had a bossy friend as a kid and I adored her. She drove my mom nuts. But she always stuck up for me and really was a great friend. Plus I thought she was really funny b/c she would say things I was thinking, but was too afraid to say. BTW, don't mean rude or inappropriate things.

Anyway, just my 2 cents
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