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My EX and I have three kids together. They are with me 40% of the time and we share the holidays (shared custody).
I have been officially been divorced for year and a half and separated for 4 years, my ex recently filed for an increase of the child support payments and claims that the child care fees have raised.
I own and run the family online business, and had to buy my Ex out since i had established the business during our marriage together. Paying my EX $100.0000.00 over a span of 8 years with a lump sum of initial payment of $10.000.00 and an additional $1,250.00 a month.
At the time of the divorce decree it was agreed to have me continue paying for the kids health care, health plan costing me about $980.00 a month (I am included under that plan)
My Ex claims all kids as dependents.
I was left with a huge attorney's fees, which I still owe about $23,800.00 from the divorce.
I am running the business out of the jointly owned home which she refuses to sell "until goes up in value" I am stuck with a mortgage payments of $3000 a month and an average of 150 to $300 maintenance and repairs.
Due to the nature of the growth of the Internet business I had to hire extra help and significantly have dropped the profit margins to way below I used to during the marriage
$100.00 a month
My Ex has currently decided to relocate the kids to a nearby state which will take about an hour and a half drive to get to and this completely changes our agreed upon visitation agreement of kids staying with me overnight on Wednesdays since to make it to school would take about 2 hours.
i will be going before the child support agency mid October and if the raise issue of child support is not resolved we will go in front of a judge in mid september - our combined income due to maryland law will fall in the hands of the judge.
Alimony $1.300.00 which was stopped last January.
Child support $1.300.00
Business buyout $1.250.00 which my ex apparently does not declare as income.
Mortgage $2.987.00
Kids food and care $ 400.00
Debts Credit cards: 28.000.00
Attorney’s fees : 23.000.00
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you very much for your responses.
Having reviewed them, I have three further questions, and I thank you so much in advance for your time on this matter.
I currently pay $1300/mo in child support fees. My ex has filed a Motion for an Increase in Child Support. Citing that it is costing my ex $1600 a month cover Work Related child care expenses.
The proof for the increase in child care expenses that my ex has provided are the summer camps (totaling $6,500 for two children) and pre-school day care (totaling $3,417) for the third child.
The first question is this. As I mentioned in the previous posting, I do not feel that it is necessary to pay such exorbitant rates for summer camp and day care when there are far more affordable options available in the area. However, I was not consulted in the decision-making process about these issues, and have simply been ordered to pay for them. Am I permitted to contest my financial responsibility for these on the grounds that this is a voluntary expense that my ex has decided to incur and not a necessary one (given that my ex could have enrolled the children in more affordable activites)? Our court decree states the following:
ORDERED, that each party shall have day-to-day decision making authority related to the children when the children are in his or her care. The parties consult on all major issues affecting the children, and with the children’s health care or other relevant provider where appropriate, and, should they be unable to reach consensus after such good faith attempts at doing so, Plaintiff shall have final tie-breaking authority.
My ex is the plaintiff in this situation - And has the final tie-breaking authority, am I legally obliged to pay for whatever activities my ex decides to enroll them in, no matter how costly?
The second question pertains to the move my ex has recently made which I mentioned in my first post. Because the income and child care costs that my ex is reporting, and upon which are based her claims for an increase in financial support, are based on the costs and income of her previous location, do the same figures apply now that they have moved? It is my understanding that my ex has relocated in order to accept a better job, which would mean an increased salary, which would affect the calculation for child support obligation, would it not? Does the child support obligation and motion for increase apply to the present arrangement, or can it be used retroactively?
Regarding the move, is that some of the respondents on the previous post mentioned that my ex’s relocation of the children was potentially objectionable. When my ex first proposed the idea to me, I clearly expressed my disapproval at the idea, but I was unable to deal with the subject at length as I was out of the country due to a death in my immediate family. When I returned home, I received a statement from my ex they had already made the arrangements for the move and that the entire relocation would be completed in approximately one week’s time.
Because the move has now been completed (as of yesterday), is it too late to file an objection to the move? The reason that I did not do so previously is because of the aforementioned circumstances. I am deeply troubled by the distance that this has put between myself and my children. What would the effect of objecting to the relocation do at this point? Is it possible to reconfigure the custody agreement as a result?
Finally, on the same subject, how can I indicate that the increased cost in transportation to visit my children should be deducted from the child support fees that I am required to pay, or is that possible at all?
Again, thank you so much for your time, patience, and for sharing your expertise. Does the judge or the child support agency take into account my debts financial desperation and obligations at all into account when looking at the whole picture? Without sounding over dramatic, I will certainly go bankrupt incurring any additional debts – which will result in loss of home - subsequently my at home job, my income, that would not allow me to pay almost anything until I will find a new job – or restart at a smaller scale.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! for taking time to read and respond.
Location: THEN: Paso Robles, Ca * NOW: Albuquerque, NM
519 posts, read 1,696,909 times
Reputation: 262
I agree .. the court can prevent that move.
Also, (as you probably already know), your ex is taking you for a finanacial ride. It is for the judge to decide whether or not child support should increase. The judge will look at your finances and, hopefully, recognize that your ex is just throwing money around. I don't know what state you're in, but you might want to look at this link:
Not a lawyer of course (do you have one?? you certainly need one!)...but you need to read your divorce decree. It should spell out the hows and whys and whens about moving. In mine, for example, both parents have to give written notice 60 days prior, or "as soon as the knowledge of the move was available" or some such.
In many cases the other parent is required to notify you within so many days about an impending move, to give you time to legally object. If she did not do that, that's good for you. If she didn't do it in writing, bad for her (usually). Also if there's any evidence that she knew about the move long before she gave you the statement, also bad for her.
I've also heard of many cases where a parent who DOES move away is responsible for travel expenses for visitation, or at least half.
Finally, it would seem logical that if the move results in less physical time with the kids (for you) and more time spent at her place, then yes, child support might increase on this basis.. but then again her increased income might negate this.
From this point forward, do make sure you send anything to her in writing if it pertains to all this, Certified Mail, Return Receipt Requested and keep a copy. It's unfortunate but it's a good idea to protect yourself. For example, if you'd corresponded this way about the summer camps and such it would probably be useful for you to show that you were trying to come to a reasonable agreement about the child care arrangements... whereas if you didn't she could just say "Well I tried and tried but he refused to work this out so I put them in summer camp" and you'd have no way of refuting this.
Since you are self employed, your insurance is no doubt pretty expensive because of that. Have you thought about making the proposition to save some money that SHE carry the children on her policy through her work? Its very likely that she can get BETTER coverage with her group insurance for LESS money.
I would think a case could be made for it all to be reconfigured because of the changes SHE has made. As you say,she makes MORE money, you have to drive further so maybe the actual times of visitation should be changed. This business of her making whatever plans she wants to beyond the basic AND you have to pony up whatever she says, seems wrong to me but I am not a lawyer.
I would speak to your lawyer and lay it all out. I know its expensive to get the lawyers involved but you may have to do that. Lay out the expenses you have for him.
A friend of mine went through the part about the move and because SHE choose to move further away, it became HER responsibility to bring the children to HIS home. It was like 2 hours away rather then just 15 minutes. Seems fair to me.
I knew a girl who got divorced had custody of their child, and the ex-husband at first agreed to the move, and then turned around and changed his mind. She had to move back to the area that was first agreed. (so many miles within where the divorce took place) She only moved 45 minutes, and had to move back.
Like someone stated earlier, your divorce papers should state about moving.
Good Luck with everything.
You're not even married to her anymore & she's still giving you a good sc***ing.
Your attorney needs to deal with all these issues. You need to get the judge to get you out from under the house if you can do it without a major loss.
I agree on the checking your divorce papers about the move issue, as it really should be spelled out there and you may have the right to contest that.
As far as child care/camps is concerned, you mentioned Maryland as perhaps the state you live in. If so, I imagine that if you do some research you will find that $250-$300/week is likely well within the normal range in the northeastern part of the country, depending on the age of the child and what type camp/care it is.
If you have it spelled out in your divorce decree that you are required to pay directly for child care, then it also should have had an actual amount listed. If it didn't, then your lawyer failed you and you can seek an adjustment yourself in court specifically for that.
Irregardless, your child support is based on your income and how many children you have. It has nothing to do with your ex's income. It's the amount of money that the court has calculated based on those two factors alone. Any amount different from that will only be approved if you can provide some pretty heavily mitigating factors. I doubt your increased cost for transportation will figure into that, however the fact that she's inadvertantly altered your visitation ability may weigh in.
As far as insurance, you really should have no issue carrying that for your children, as it's your duty to protect them in that regard as a parent. You would be doing so without complaint if you were still together as a family wouldn't you?
Irregardless, your child support is based on your income and how many children you have. It has nothing to do with your ex's income. It's the amount of money that the court has calculated based on those two factors alone. Any amount different from that will only be approved if you can provide some pretty heavily mitigating factors. I doubt your increased cost for transportation will figure into that, however the fact that she's inadvertantly altered your visitation ability may weigh in.
I disagree with this. Depending on the state you reside CS can be based off of both incomes. There have even been some cases in certain states where the CP end up paying the NPC CC(very rare but does happen). Also in many states travel cost are considered. In some cases It might not effect CS but the moving CP may have to pay part or all of the extra travel costs.
The wife's new salary, the wife's new expenses in the new location, the move itself, are all CHANGES IN CIRCUMSTANCES that I would think would enable all related decisions to be reviewed, including your support obligations and the custody of the kids since you now live far away from them.
Does this mean she at least sold the house so you dont have to cover the mortgage any longer?
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