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Old 06-21-2009, 04:34 PM
 
Location: So Cal
51,933 posts, read 52,357,086 times
Reputation: 52422

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I know some friends of ours and they have a college age kid. Now this kid in general has been pretty good growing up. I've known him most of his life. He's done well in school, played sports, basically stayed out of trouble minus any usual crap kids do.

Anyway he's on his last yr in college and lately his been screwing up, getting bad grades, lost his grant yada, yada,yada.


He also is not living at home and hasn't had a job in six months or so. His mother and her parents are always floating him money when he needs it. Matter of fact the grandparents had their house paid off and they recently took out a loan to help him out.

Like I said earlier he's screwing around with the frat parties and drinking and doing that stuff. That isn't bad except he's not taking care of business (as Elvis would say).

I'm like this f ing kid, if he wants to play big boy and live out on his own, he needs to get a job, at least something part time for some spending money. I also think that since its his last yr of school, he should get some student loans instead of letting his grandparents take out a loan on the house.

I guess the bigger point is that I think todays kids from the last 10-20 yrs have the entitlement mentality. I think it is BS myself.

In case I sound like a cranky old man.

I'm the that "old" I haven't even hit 40 yet.
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Old 06-21-2009, 05:00 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
1,142 posts, read 2,807,774 times
Reputation: 1144
Oh, I get exactly what you are saying. That kid is headed for a crap load of trouble. I've seen it many times when I was a counselor. They usually end up in some kind of legal trouble eventually, though I hope that is not the case here. His parent are hurting him way more than they are helping him.

I sure hope his parents wise up soon.
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Old 06-21-2009, 05:12 PM
 
3,562 posts, read 5,208,924 times
Reputation: 1861
I think that there are a great deal of kids that live off mom and dad and go to college. So, they are still considered kids until they graduate. So, they get what they need but they lose a little. I think that is to be expected to an extent. The same responsibilities were not given to them as they were to a lot of us at an earlier age.

I currently work with a girl who is about 26 and has never lived on her own and it shows. I work with a girl who left home when she got married and she is about the same age. She has never lived on her own and that shows.

There is a sense of self that can only be achieved with complete independence. It always shows.
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Old 06-21-2009, 07:35 PM
 
Location: Central Ohio
10,808 posts, read 14,876,654 times
Reputation: 16471
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
I guess the bigger point is that I think todays kids from the last 10-20 yrs have the entitlement mentality. I think it is BS myself.

In case I sound like a cranky old man.

I'm the that "old" I haven't even hit 40 yet.
I am old and cranky.

Before entering high school mine knew the rules for college.

High school is followed by college where, in exchange for me paying the bills, you will do your very best to get good grades and complete.

At the completion of college you can come home and vegetate for 30 days after which time you must get a job, secure your own living space and move out.

We are your parents, we totally supported you for 23 years but now you are an adult and you are on your own.
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Old 06-21-2009, 08:52 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
603 posts, read 2,333,719 times
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I used to be friends with a guy who was 42 and still lived at home. When I asked him if he was planning on moving out, he responded, "Why? I get my meals cooked, my laundry cleaned, and I live rent-free. Why would I move out?"
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Old 06-21-2009, 10:00 PM
 
Location: So Cal
51,933 posts, read 52,357,086 times
Reputation: 52422
Quote:
Originally Posted by charz View Post
I used to be friends with a guy who was 42 and still lived at home. When I asked him if he was planning on moving out, he responded, "Why? I get my meals cooked, my laundry cleaned, and I live rent-free. Why would I move out?"
Pathetic.
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Old 06-21-2009, 10:17 PM
 
10,629 posts, read 26,651,783 times
Reputation: 6776
I don't think that "kids" today necessarily feel more entitled than in the past, although that may be true in certain circles. It probably is in the sense that college is an automatic expectation for so many now, and in some cases is treated like an extention of high school rather than as the start of creating an adult life.

My parents didn't support me while I was in school - I did it through grants and scholarships, a job, and some loans - and it's always one of my pet peeves when people assume that everyone has the same experience. I considered myself an adult, and expected others to also treat me as an adult. Not that parents shouldn't help if they're able, but any financial aid on the part of the parents should be appreciated by the student as a gift, and not as an entitlement. I know plenty of people who don't feel that way, though. I've also noticed (and yes, I know this is a vast generalization) that first born children tend to be more independent, while the youngest kids in the family have the bigger sense of entitlement.

Ultimately, though, I think it comes down to personalities - a student with a strong internal sense of responsibilty is going to act the same whether or not he or she is getting parental support. For those who need that extra push, though, parents should be careful that they're not harming their kid's progress to adulthood through excessive hand-holding and the enabling of irresponsible behavior. At the very least I think it's reasonable that students should at least have to fund their own social lives.
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