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Old 06-25-2009, 01:58 PM
 
758 posts, read 1,865,129 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wyoquilter View Post
Meaning no disregard to your spouse, but I don't care how dense a person is they should still stop when first asked. NO means NO in any situation. When a person is told to stop they should stop and if the person being tickled wishes for the tickling to continue after the tickler stopped then the ticklee can ask for it until they once again say stop.

There are many reasons why a person who is being tickled asks for it to stop. Maybe it's so they can catch their breath, or maybe to get in a more comfortable position, or maybe it's so they aren't going to pee their pants. If the tickler stops and gives the ticklee a chance to catch their breath, change positions or get their bladder back on track, the ticklee may want to resume tickling. The ticklee may want it to stop because it is no longer fun and does not wish for it to continue. Either way the tickler should respect the ticklee when they say stop. To not do so, no matter how dense they are, they are not taking the NO means NO seriously.
I'm not disagreeing with you. I'm just saying there is not (usually) a malicious intent behind it.
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Old 06-25-2009, 05:24 PM
 
1,122 posts, read 2,306,151 times
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I think it depends on who is doing the tickling and who is getting tickled. It can be a lead into abuse. Some people are annoyed by it, like my husband. When I was a kid my mother would go after my feet without stopping until I cried so I decided one day that my feet were not going to be ticklish anymore. The next time my mother went for my feet, I just shut off that part of the brain and they have never been ticklish since.
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Old 06-25-2009, 08:27 PM
 
Location: Tucson/Nogales
23,062 posts, read 28,770,326 times
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Having done massage for a number of years, I just find it sad that someone can't enjoy, or will never enjoy, a good foot massage, as for many, it's one of the most enjoyable parts of the massage. This is what led me to post this thread, viewpoints on tickling.

And it's not just the feet either. It can be other parts of the body that can be affected.

I had one client who was touchy, not only with his feet, but other parts of his body as well. And when I asked him about it, it was a clear-cut case of abuse, as his brother would tickle him endlessly as a child as a form of entertainment.
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Old 06-25-2009, 09:41 PM
 
Location: Michigan
12,711 posts, read 13,424,130 times
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Tickling with consent is clearly never abuse. Tickling without consent is clearly mean, but I think it would have to be severely prolonged for it to cross the line into actual abuse.
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Old 06-25-2009, 09:57 PM
 
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Not a fan of the tickle.
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Old 06-26-2009, 12:20 AM
 
Location: Orlando, FL
12,200 posts, read 18,308,064 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wyoquilter View Post
Meaning no disregard to your spouse, but I don't care how dense a person is they should still stop when first asked. NO means NO in any situation. When a person is told to stop they should stop and if the person being tickled wishes for the tickling to continue after the tickler stopped then the ticklee can ask for it until they once again say stop.

There are many reasons why a person who is being tickled asks for it to stop. Maybe it's so they can catch their breath, or maybe to get in a more comfortable position, or maybe it's so they aren't going to pee their pants. If the tickler stops and gives the ticklee a chance to catch their breath, change positions or get their bladder back on track, the ticklee may want to resume tickling. The ticklee may want it to stop because it is no longer fun and does not wish for it to continue. Either way the tickler should respect the ticklee when they say stop. To not do so, no matter how dense they are, they are not taking the NO means NO seriously.
I can understand where her husband was coming from with thinking she didn't really mean stop. When I was younger whenever my grandfather would wash the car he'd spray me with the hose and I'd run around screaming "stop" but I really didn't want him to and as soon as he went back to washing the car again I'd run right back over there. "Stop" was just the natural thing to say; don't know why?

As far as tickling, I loved it as a kid. Would be on the floor in a ball gasping for breath, now I can't stand to be touched in my "tickle spots" freaks me out.
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Old 06-26-2009, 12:35 PM
 
9 posts, read 23,236 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tijlover View Post
I've worked a number of years doing massage. And I've encountered a number of people, when it comes to massaging the feet or some other part of the body, it's off-limits. With some people I can't even touch their feet without them squirming all over the table. Oftentimes, when I ask them why I can't massage them in a particular area, they will tell me that they were tickled when they were much younger.

I do know that muscle retains memory.

I'm guilty of being a tickler as a babysitter, and have been tickled myself by a babysitter and a relative. But, at the time, considering how much fun it was to see someone laughing, I never considered it to be, possibly, a sign of abuse.

What is your take on this? Abuse? Harmless fun?
I hate to be tickled. Some people think you're kidding around when you say that. Almost like it's a "double dare" but no...some people don't like it. I'm one of them. No tickling for me and after making that clear I expect someone to respect it. No means no. I'm pretty sure if you get slapped for it you'll stop.
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Old 06-27-2009, 01:12 AM
 
Location: Rocket City, U.S.A.
1,806 posts, read 5,682,957 times
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I HATE being tickled. My brother use to torment me...not meaning to be evil, but just not knowing when to stop, as others have mentioned - a problem with perception...so it warped me, without a doubt.

My feet are not ticklish, which is good. I'd hate to miss out on a massage.
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Old 06-27-2009, 03:44 AM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
24,012 posts, read 28,330,679 times
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Depends. Personally, I HATE being tickled. My daughter doesn't care for it either. My son OTOH loved it. I think tickling a person who obvioulsy doesn't want to be tickled is abusive - in that someone is invading your personal space and in fact actually touching your body against your will - after you've said "no"....this goes against everything we teach our kids and call "abuse".....

I have a few ticklish spots - I just tell the masseur about them ahead of time, I sure don't let it keep me from my massage! BTW - not on my feet - you could rub my feet all day and night and I wouldn't object....
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Old 06-27-2009, 08:19 AM
 
Location: On the Ohio River in Western, KY
3,387 posts, read 6,602,093 times
Reputation: 3362
Quote:
Originally Posted by tijlover View Post
I've worked a number of years doing massage. And I've encountered a number of people, when it comes to massaging the feet or some other part of the body, it's off-limits. With some people I can't even touch their feet without them squirming all over the table. Oftentimes, when I ask them why I can't massage them in a particular area, they will tell me that they were tickled when they were much younger.

I do know that muscle retains memory.

I'm guilty of being a tickler as a babysitter, and have been tickled myself by a babysitter and a relative. But, at the time, considering how much fun it was to see someone laughing, I never considered it to be, possibly, a sign of abuse.

What is your take on this? Abuse? Harmless fun?
IMO, harmless fun unless it goes so far that they have traumatic memories from it (like being tickled till you pee yourself).

Speaking of massage, why is it that no massage therapist will do a deep tissue massage on the buttocks, unless you sign a waiver and pay them MUCH more? (I hold stress in two places, butt muscles (from being on my feet all the time) and my "wings" (shoulder blades), and I can't hardly get anyone, but the "oriental massage parlors" to do this to relieve the tension and stress.)
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