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My sons are 12 and 13 and are allowed to be outside on our street unsupervised. I do go out and check on them periodically to make sure they aren't up to mischief. They do have to be close enough that I can see them or at least call out to them. They are not allowed in anyone else's yard that do not have children or in their friends yards if said friend is not outside. (I started that rule when all the little kids on the street seemed to be in my front yard when my kids weren't home or outside, drove me nuts)
The boys have to be inside by the time the street lights are on. They are pretty responsible about it. Now my 4 year old is not allowed out front unless I am with him. He is however allowed out in the backyard by himself.
I'm not a parent yet, but I do have to say this. When I was younger we used to beable to go around the neighborhood and most of the kids loved being in my front yard so it made it easy for an adult to pay attention. However, my mom would watch t.v. in the back of the house. I don't think times have changed that much. I just think there is more media broadcasted about kidnappings and such then when I was a kid. I remember seeing kids on milk cartons all the time. Perhaps child murders on America's most wanted. Bad things happened then too. I just think people turn to the media more for help now these days.
We just started letting our oldest son (9) play outside on his own. As long as he tells us where he is going and checks in every hour, we let him ride his bike to the school playground a couple blocks away and play around our yard (three city lots) alone without doing much checking on him. He is NOT allowed to go into other people's homes, though. But, there are kids down the street exactly like the one you describe. They will come knock on our door even when our son isn't here and ask if they can ride his bike or "Can I have a soda?" I just want to follow them home and ask their parents WTH they are doing running around all day unsupervised.
What makes me sad is when the next door neighbor stands in his driveway and kicks a ball against the stairs. He's all alone and can't even go out for a bike ride. He stands there alone and dribbles the ball and shoots free throws for hours.
I'm reading the updated and expanded edition of "Last Child in the Woods" by Richard Louv. This book talks about "Nature Deficiency" and how it causes all kinds of problems not only in our kids, but for adults, too. It's a really good book - everybody should read it! In the back, there are suggestions for ways you can get your kids outside more. It's an awesome read, for parents especially.
I don't allow my kids to play alone outdoors. Even our 14 year old needs to have a buddy or his brother with him. I only allow them to be outside without adult supervision if they are with friends or their brother and while it's light outside. I might not be as cautious if we lived in a different neighborhood, but in our neighborhood we have a few places that serve as sort of halfway houses for mentally challenged people. Oregon likes to try to cater to the mentally challenged by providing services which help them live and work out in their communities... which is great from one perspective... but as a mother with young boys it makes me feel uneasy as some of these mentally challenged people give off the impression that they are unstable and you just never know how they are going to respond or behave. It makes me uncomfortable how they stare at me and my boys. It just ruffles my protective mom feathers a bit, so I err on the side of caution. We also have a city bus stop a few blocks down the street from where we live, and I have met some strange ones there as well. I sometimes see these guys who are angry "white pride" types (they walk around shirtless, even in winter, showing off their racist "white pride" tattoos) who (neighbors have told me) sometimes have acted aggressively, even to other white people. Anyway, I don't want to shelter my boys, but at the same time I must try my best to keep them safe. It's a challenging balancing act. Our very immediate area (we're at the end of our street) is nice and safe, we love our neighbors, and we're in a nice cul de sac area with lots of other kids as well as retired elderly people. But the more you go out, towards the busier streets, the more uncertainty there is.
Both our boys also have very simple cell phones with texting capabilities so that we keep in touch constantly. Their phones also have a chaperon software installed on them which allows us to know where they are at all times, even if the phone is powered off. Their phones have a stretchy band that they use to attach them to their legs or arms if they don't have a pocket, but usually they just keep the phones in their pockets.
Recently my oldest got into trouble because he was out playing with friends, and those friends knew of a new boy that just moved into the neighborhood... and pretty soon everybody was over the new kids house - and no one had told any of their parents where they had gone. So we're looking out the windows, we don't hear the kids, we don't see the kids... so we all go outside, we're calling each other... "Have you seen...Do you know where they went off to?..." then finally my son answers his phone and tells me where he is. All the kids got a good talking to that day. It's great to make new friends, but you don't go over someone's house without talking it over with your parent first.
Has anyone in the neighborhood paid a visit to the sex offender and let him know what the consequences of any problem would be?
No and I don't think such an approach is best.
I am like most people and when I heard the word "sex offender" I think someone who molested a child or something horrible like that.
At the same time, it may have been one of those things where a guy was 19 and dating a 17 year old. I personally would rather see a sex offender rating system and not see people have to be labeled a sex offender just for being a year or two older than someone they slept with.
I was an only child and I played all over the neighborhood alone and my parents let me stay home alone at 9 yrs - nowadays it is considered child abuse to leave a 9 yr old alone.
My children are under 6 but even when they are older I will not let them go out unsupervised. And most older kids do not watch their younger siblings - they are not mature enough - I see these older kids playing down the street and the little brother is right out in the middle of the busy road - kids dont know how to watch other kids - dont fool yourself.
Yes, there were molesters back in the day but now they are bolder - they know not much will happen to them - in the old days they were ganged up on, beat up or forced to move - I would like to see them castrated.
Has anyone in the neighborhood paid a visit to the sex offender and let him know what the consequences of any problem would be?
That would be harrassment and illegal. He already knows what the legal consequences are. If you are talking of other consequences you would be committing a crime.
No and I don't think such an approach is best.
I am like most people and when I heard the word "sex offender" I think someone who molested a child or something horrible like that.
At the same time, it may have been one of those things where a guy was 19 and dating a 17 year old. I personally would rather see a sex offender rating system and not see people have to be labeled a sex offender just for being a year or two older than someone they slept with.
Very good reasoning. "Sex offender" is not synonymous with "dangerous sociopath".
It all depends on the kids, the area you live in, the people and traffic around your place, the crime rate, and how you personally feel. Its a different world today than when we were all kids. I used to be able to play outside since I started grade school, but nowadays I only recently started letting my son go outside on his own. He's 10 and I wanted to loosen the "leash" a bit and let hm feel more independent, as he's way to dependent and clutchy as it is and can't seem to do much without being told step-by-step what to do, so I felt he needed that autonomy. He knows not to play in the road or talk to strangers and to stick around the house so we can see him. He doesn't have far to wander off to, since he doesn't have any friends and there's no stores nearby without a car.
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