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Old 07-03-2009, 10:02 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, Texas
1,691 posts, read 3,843,657 times
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Just something for everyone to think about:

For parents worried about thier children being alone or in situations that could result in harm the BEST thing you can do is arm them with knowledge and information. When I was in Elementary school I went to a gun training course and Karate course along with my Ballet classes. I leard a big healthy repect for guns, I know how to break a nose, cause great damage to a throat or knee as well as break every bone in a person's foot, and I used to be able to Plie` with the best of them ( or at least the best at that age).

When my sister and I were younger around the late 1960's, my sister had a friend who was kipnapped, rapped and then murdered left in a drainage small ditch area that kids played at often. She was within calling distance from her house, she was playing with friends but they went home, it was the mid-day.

On the other hand I had a friend who was out and about doing just about the same thing ( this was 1978 or so, I would say about junior high) and she was approached but she was armed as I was with Knowledge and how to use it. She put up such a fuss, managed to cause her attacker enough pain that he let go and she screamed and ran for help. He got away but she lived.

The point to both stories are that no matter what you do the possiblity that your child could be attacked by friend, foe or neighbor is always there. You can't protect your child, you can arm your child with knowledge and the know how to use that knowledge properly. To this day I know personally that I still can be harmed but I know something my attacked wont know... that I myself can and will use deadly force and I won't go down without a huge fight and screaming match. I haven't practice Karate in ages, but I still have the knowledge. I can still break a kneecap, break every bone in a foot, bust a nose I have however added the knowledge of how to pop out eyes, dislocate shoulders, and break an elbow ( my arm/elbow sergeon taught me that last one ).

don't wait till you think they are strong enough. I was flipping 6' men over onto thier back when I was only 5'2" and about 110 at that time. Even a child can be taught the easy targets for braking a kneecap or at least hyperextending it.

Ever see the movie Roadhouse? there are two scenes where in the kneecap was a useful deterent. You might be suprised at how little strength is needed, just the right angle.
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Old 07-03-2009, 08:18 PM
 
1,354 posts, read 4,574,091 times
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Sounds like the poor child is lonely. Possibly latch key, as another poster stated.
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Old 07-04-2009, 07:33 PM
 
Location: Orlando, Florida
43,854 posts, read 50,976,396 times
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I think it all depends on the child and where you live. My kids were in a more rural setting when they were young and I always felt safe letting them play outside. I probably would not have felt quite as safe doing so in a town where there was traffic nearby.
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Old 07-07-2009, 12:31 AM
 
Location: Arkansas
2,383 posts, read 6,048,106 times
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To the OP I have to wonder where in Ar you live 'cause we have a similar issue in our neighborhood here in Arkansas! We happen to live in a pool and playground community that we pay yearly for and there is a neighborhood within walking distance to ours and we get kids from that area ALL the time! On several occasions, there has been a young girl, 9 years old, taking care of her 7 year old brother and 4 year old brother~who has learning disabilities. We finally had to call the police. It was sad, and I knew that those kids only wanted to hang out and have fun, but as a parent, I had to do what was right. I think that with all of the horrible possibilities out there, you have to keep a close eye on your kids, no matter what age! I believe that once kids turn to adults, then they have to fight for themselves, but we very rarely let our daughter walk the 800 feet from the pool to our house alone and she is 10! I don't think we are sheltering her too much, I just think we are being precautious and I would rather be safe than sorry! I'm not willing to use my child as a decoy.
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Old 07-07-2009, 12:59 AM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
16,077 posts, read 28,480,388 times
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OP
Why is the child coming into your house to use your bathroom?
Does anyone else find that strange?
What does he eat all day?

It doesn't sound to me like the boy has any supervision.
He's all alone, all day, roaming around outside?
Don't you have summer camp, a Boys or Girls Club program
in your area?

Good grief that's sad.
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Old 07-07-2009, 02:56 AM
 
Location: Central Ohio
10,815 posts, read 14,883,971 times
Reputation: 16494
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robhu View Post
I played outside without much supervision about 57 years ago when I was only five. But I had learned to stay in the yard and there where no pedophiles around. In fact there wasn't much of anybody around. Except for my dog.
Mom or Dad looked out the window once in awhile to check on me. But I wasn't constantly watched.
Sadly, those days are gone.
No more 57 years ago than there are today. In 50 years nothing has changed.

It is important to remember every day tens of millions of kids go out and play and are not molested. Tens of millions with many going outside every day for a year... how many non-molestation days do they add up to?
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Old 07-07-2009, 07:40 AM
 
11,642 posts, read 23,840,258 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dvcgal View Post
To the OP I have to wonder where in Ar you live 'cause we have a similar issue in our neighborhood here in Arkansas! We happen to live in a pool and playground community that we pay yearly for and there is a neighborhood within walking distance to ours and we get kids from that area ALL the time! On several occasions, there has been a young girl, 9 years old, taking care of her 7 year old brother and 4 year old brother~who has learning disabilities. We finally had to call the police. It was sad, and I knew that those kids only wanted to hang out and have fun, but as a parent, I had to do what was right. I think that with all of the horrible possibilities out there, you have to keep a close eye on your kids, no matter what age! I believe that once kids turn to adults, then they have to fight for themselves, but we very rarely let our daughter walk the 800 feet from the pool to our house alone and she is 10! I don't think we are sheltering her too much, I just think we are being precautious and I would rather be safe than sorry! I'm not willing to use my child as a decoy.
I am all for supervision. I have a 10 year old also. I would not let him go to a public pool without an adult or responsible teen either. However, I do think that parents can be OVERLY protective to the point that their kids have no idea how to do ANYTHING for themselves.

IMO a 10 year old should be given a small amout of money to spend, pick out their treat, and go to the register and pay on their own. Or allowed to go to a different aisle in the supermarket and pick out a product and bring it back to their parent. A 10 year old should be allowed to refill their own soft drink at a fast food restaurant.

I am not saying you are overly protective. I have no way of knowing that, but I do think that parents can be overly protective to the point that a child grows up not knowing how to do ANYTHING for themeself. That leads to a lack of confidence that can be crippling for the rest of their life.
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Old 07-07-2009, 10:09 PM
 
Location: Arkansas
2,383 posts, read 6,048,106 times
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MommaBear~
Totally understand your point and agree 100%! There ar emany things that I let my daughter do on her own without me standing over her shoulder. But then there are things like walking home by herself from the pool that just scare me. I happen to live at the front of our neighborhood and someone could easily drive in and snatch her off her bike before I could make it around the corner. That is why I say "better safe than sorry," cause you just never know who is out driving around and what he or she may be looking for! But as far as being too over protective, I agree! Children need to gain independence and they cannot do that with a parent constantly right beside them!
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Old 07-08-2009, 12:21 AM
 
10,629 posts, read 26,660,945 times
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I understand why parents are worried, but stranger kidnappings are extremely rare. For the extremely small percentage of kids and parents who go through this it is of course devastating, but I think modern media (and cable tv, internet, etc.) has convinced millions of parents that this is a more serious danger than it really is. I guess I worry more about the lasting damage of not giving kids the opportunity to - within reason, and at slowly escalating levels appropriate to the individual child's age and maturity level and to the specific neighborhood - learn to take care of themselves. You read about parents who won't let their teenage kids even walk around the mall on their own - how are these kids going to function when they go off to college or otherwise enter adult life? The risk of stunted development scares me more than the miniscule risk of a kidnapping.

But then again, many Americans now live in communities that are not designed with children's well-being in mind; if I lived in a modern subdivision I would probably be nervous, too, not due to kidnappings or molestation, but because in many of these places there are no sidewalks, destinations are often separated by busy roads, drivers aren't necessarily watching out for pedestrians, and it's often (unfortunately, in my opinion) not the cultural norm to allow one's children out alone, even at older ages, so it's less likely that one's own child would have many friends also allowed to walk unsupervised to park, store, or school.
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Old 07-08-2009, 01:18 PM
 
1,122 posts, read 2,309,552 times
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We live in the country and the kids never play outside without being attended to some degree, even if its me inside sitting by the open window reading a book. The kids obey their boundries, which usually have to be reminded each spring and usually increase by a small degree...like being able to play in the front yard on their bikes but they are always in sight of the house and never go out in the yard. But our oldest is 7, the other two 5 and 3. If we had just the 3 year old, like when our daughter was 3, we would be out there next to them at all times. The 7 year old is now mentally mature enough to handle it and be able to drag her brothers from the road if they dared go that far, not that they dare to do that, lol. They KNOW the consequences and don't like them.
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