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Old 04-17-2007, 10:21 AM
 
Location: Twin Cities
3,570 posts, read 7,776,403 times
Reputation: 5973

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I thought I was a parent the day my daughter was born. I've since learned being a parent is a life-long journey filled with interesting and exciting events.

The first time I realized I was truly a parent was on our first trip to see the family with our new bundle of joy. She was four months old and we had a six hour drive in front of us. Being new parents we thought, heck we have college degrees, have had pets and survived 30 or so years without killing ourselves off...how difficult could this be?

Our normal six hour fun drive turned into eleven grueling hours of stopping every hour or so to feed the "bundle of joy". Finally I told my wife to drive and I'd feed our daughter while she drove. "That's not a good idea," my wife said. "I want to get to your brother's house by dinner," I replied. We had left at 8 a.m. and we should've been there after lunchtime at the most.

Even though my wife didn't think it was wise, I disregarded her advice. I began feeding my daughter with her soy formula while my wife drove through eastern Oregon.

"stop the car! Stop the car!!" I yelled. "Oh no, I can't believe this!" I continued to yell...which only made matters worse. My precious little girl was spitting up...no, she was throwing up the "sweet" smell of soy formula. By the time the scenario ended she had filled her carseat bucket and my clothes with baby vomit. Little did I know I still had 7 hours to go smelling like baby vomit.

My wife was sweet enough to not tell me "I told you so". However I did get the look. I drove the rest of the way and she stayed in the back seat. When we arrived at her brother's house they all began laughing hysterically at how long it took us to get there, and even though the smell subsided...I was quite a sight to behold.

There are so many other stories of how I didn't know I was a parent 'til....like watching my newborn's **** shoot across the room when her gramma was changing her. THAT was funny! Or when I thought I broke her leg right after she was born and in the room with all the nurses...I was giving her the first bath and moved her leg. I heard a pop and flipped out thinking I broke her leg. If my wife could've jumped off the bed/table...she would've! I think she would've come after me first. The nurses calmed me down and said everything was fine.

Thank goodness I have a few more years on as a parent now. But again, this is a journey and I know there will be many more wonderful and blessed events to experience. Just looking forward to those teen years like a root canal!
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Old 04-17-2007, 10:26 AM
 
Location: STL
1,093 posts, read 3,435,333 times
Reputation: 573
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoosier_guy View Post
Or when I thought I broke her leg right after she was born and in the room with all the nurses...I was giving her the first bath and moved her leg. I heard a pop and flipped out thinking I broke her leg. If my wife could've jumped off the bed/table...she would've! I think she would've come after me first. The nurses calmed me down and said everything was fine.
I can so see my husband doing the same thing.. that's funny!
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Old 04-17-2007, 10:50 AM
 
Location: Just a few miles outside of St. Louis
1,921 posts, read 5,082,949 times
Reputation: 1180
Great stories, Hoosier_Guy! I'm 45, and my two kids are 25, and 20, so I am well past those years, (thank goodness! ), but you're absolutely right, you're not really a parent, until you get some experience under your belt. And, from what I've observed, here on the forum, I think you'll do fine during those dreaded teen years. I actually managed to get through them without shipping my kids off to the other side of the world, (though I was sorely tempted, many times!). Just remember, as you enter those teen years, with your kids, and you start wondering whatever possessed you to have children, you get your revenge when your kids have their own kids! What fun! My daughter, (the 25 year-old), has two boys, 7 and 3, and she swears I layed a double whammy on her, with the mother's curse! And, I just laugh and agree, and remind her, of how she was, as a kid. The best part is she still has those teen years to go through!
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Old 04-17-2007, 12:20 PM
 
Location: Tejas
7,504 posts, read 15,964,820 times
Reputation: 5025
lol Hoosier, your first post may as well be a check list for me to tick off.
Ill never forget my eldest three year old when he said to a lady "Gee, your hair is a mess" or a very obese lady when he said "Why are you so big", i just wanted to slip and bang my head and be knocked out so i can get out of the situation :S
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Old 04-20-2007, 09:10 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
1,508 posts, read 5,383,399 times
Reputation: 1418
Smile Who Farted?

Yesterday - this one's fresh......& funny.

In the playroom at a franchised fast food restaurant.

Out comes my three year old. He announces loudly, Momma, someone stinked up the playroom. I think it was that gurl wit da big belly. She smells.

Out comes my four year old. He says loudly, Hey Momma, Ya know what? Ya know what? That gurl wit the big belly farted in the playroom and and and it really stinks in there.

How oh How could I have known that the little girls MOTHER was sitting next to my booth ????!!!! How embarassing.

*I do give them credit for not using the "fat" word. Thank goodness. I did tell them it was not poliet and that we all have gas.
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Old 04-20-2007, 11:37 AM
 
Location: Twin Cities
3,570 posts, read 7,776,403 times
Reputation: 5973
Wow! Didn't know this forum existed! Well you HAVE to see this. A coworker showed this to me. Make sure you read from the beginning and listen to this sweet little girl.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_zK2apRHI4

Last edited by Hoosier; 04-20-2007 at 11:37 AM.. Reason: edits
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Old 04-20-2007, 02:37 PM
 
69 posts, read 269,662 times
Reputation: 36
LOL.. I feel your pain. My daughter was born @ 25 weeks and had tubes shoved down her throat for 3 months so she quickly lost her gag reflex. One little cough and it's the exorcist all over again. I've had to sleep on a mattress with no sheets because one night she threw up 7 times and went thru all my blankets and sheets.

She's turning 3 soon and doesn't throw up too much anymore but I still freak out when we're in the car and she coughs. My husband pulls over every single time... NO JOKE. LOL.
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Old 04-20-2007, 03:16 PM
 
Location: Twin Cities
3,570 posts, read 7,776,403 times
Reputation: 5973
It's funny because I just shared this story with my daughter, who is now 8 years old last night. She was laying in bed wide-eyed at the story. Her biggest concern was whether I changed her out of the baby vomit clothes. She also thought it was VERY funny when the familiy began laughing at us for our ordeal. No sympathy...I tell ya! She is always asking me to tell her stories about when she was a baby, or when I was a kid (back in the dark ages of the 70s and 80s...1900s that is!) LOL.
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Old 04-20-2007, 03:58 PM
 
449 posts, read 1,027,141 times
Reputation: 758
Hoosierguy that was so cute-wish my son was that age again
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Old 04-22-2007, 04:12 PM
 
Location: NW Atlanta
1,372 posts, read 4,755,998 times
Reputation: 419
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoosier_guy View Post
Wow! Didn't know this forum existed! Well you HAVE to see this. A coworker showed this to me. Make sure you read from the beginning and listen to this sweet little girl.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_zK2apRHI4
OMG Hoosier that was hilarious
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