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Old 07-13-2009, 07:30 AM
 
943 posts, read 3,149,335 times
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When I was a teenager in the late 1960s and early 1970s there was tons of us kids hanging outside riding bikes, playing games, running around and doing sports right outside our home in the vacant lot next door. We had a great time and anyone who lived nearby was our friend. Now, even in the newer neighborhoods where there are lots of kids between 8-15 (our main hanging outside years), the street and yards are empty. Kids are all forced to be indoors, with 5 hours of homework or in formal organized activities. I wonder what happened.

What happened to spontaneous friends or fun? What happened to playing ditch or hide and go seek in the nearby woods? What happened to kids going places on their bikes? What happened to childhood?
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Old 07-13-2009, 07:59 AM
 
2,884 posts, read 5,912,729 times
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Several things. TV is more invasive than ever. Parents are terrified to let their kids run around on their own. School has coopted family time in favor of propaganda and busy work.

The best thing to do is being the change you want to see. Get your family outside in the afternoon and as more people see you out there, they will want to join.
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Old 07-13-2009, 08:44 AM
 
Location: Cleveland, OH
751 posts, read 2,473,806 times
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There are may reasons, I'll post the ones I can think of right away.

Child molesters were plastered all over the news! Parents now feel a need to watch every move little Johnny makes for fear the evil man wil come get him. And to some degree, I do see the need for this.

In addition, we now have parents wanting to relive their childhood via their kids. Have you ever been to a kids soccer game? Do you see who is making the scene and throwing temper tantrums? It's the friggin parents! Yes there are some kids who are compelled to win above all else, but most kids just want to go play with friends.

Then of course there are the parents who believe their kids must play every organized sport possible so they can get a scholarship and get into a good school.

We now have computers and Xbox etc that keep kids indoors. They don't want to play outside, unless their machines are cordless.

People seem to freak out when kids play in their yard - god forbid you make a divit in the grass! When I lived in a regular neighborhood with my kids, if they tried to play football, the ladies next door would literally come outside and make sure they didn't touch her yard. I understand that some people put a lot of time and effort into their yard, including money, but you aren't taking it with you to yuor grave!

My current situation has shown me the people - parents - are just not nice anymore. My kids school puts out a school phonebook, if you don't want to be listed, you don't have to be. So one of my sons classmates was listed, and this boy had come up to me and asked if my son could come over and play, or if he could come to my house. He didn't know his number, so I looked it up and called his mom. She was like, oh, I don't really like kids coming over because the dog jumps on them and will hurt them. So I said, well he could come over my house, they can go to teh creek and look for frogs, they can go to the pool that has a lifegaurd (with me too!), I have boardgames and lots of toys. It wasn't a good weekend. No problem, just give us a call when it's a good weekend. That was 6 months ago, and this boy has asked several times since then, but they are not allowed to play. WTF?
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Old 07-13-2009, 10:26 AM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,261 posts, read 47,190,693 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Weekend Traveler View Post
When I was a teenager in the late 1960s and early 1970s there was tons of us kids hanging outside riding bikes, playing games, running around and doing sports right outside our home in the vacant lot next door.

That describes my neighborhood exactly... right now!
Except that the vacant lot is three lots down and not next door to me.

There are still areas where kids are kids....
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Old 07-13-2009, 11:03 AM
 
536 posts, read 1,865,769 times
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My son (5) has never had trouble making friends. At school, home, doesn't matter. I think it depends on the neighborhood. We moved to an older established neighborhood and there are kids playing everywhere all the time. I was actually quite shocked because an hour after I put my son to bed the kids his age are still outside playing. We started fealing guilty.

My son plays with the neighbors just about everyday and will even play with the other neighbors grandkids if they are visiting family.

I actually think parents are less cautious these days then they should be. I think I am the odd one in the neighborhood since I tend to keep a short leash on my son and know his exact location every second.
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Old 07-13-2009, 11:38 AM
 
2,884 posts, read 5,912,729 times
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I have the annoying problem in that the family next door has three kids, all about the same age as mine, all friendly, but in general when my kids come out to play with them, Mama shuffles them all inside within a few minutes. Long enough to not be rude, but soon enough that we've noticed the pattern.

Religious differences, I suspect, but it's sad and frustrating to try and explain to my kids.
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Old 07-13-2009, 01:39 PM
 
6,066 posts, read 14,992,925 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Weekend Traveler View Post
When I was a teenager in the late 1960s and early 1970s there was tons of us kids hanging outside riding bikes, playing games, running around and doing sports right outside our home in the vacant lot next door. We had a great time and anyone who lived nearby was our friend. Now, even in the newer neighborhoods where there are lots of kids between 8-15 (our main hanging outside years), the street and yards are empty. Kids are all forced to be indoors, with 5 hours of homework or in formal organized activities. I wonder what happened.

What happened to spontaneous friends or fun? What happened to playing ditch or hide and go seek in the nearby woods? What happened to kids going places on their bikes? What happened to childhood?
Have you read "Last Child in the Woods"? Richard Louv, author, Last Child in the Woods it talks and explains all about this, and offers ways to fight it.
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Old 07-13-2009, 03:10 PM
 
Location: Camberville
15,785 posts, read 21,296,886 times
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I vastly PREFERRED to have "formal organized activities" as a kid! :P I was the only girl on a street of about 12 boys in my age group. How that one worked out, I'll never know. I played with them, but you might not have seen us because we often were in someone's back yard. I live in a safe neighborhood but why risk running around in the street? Most parents had set up the back yards so they would be fun for kids (my own has paths cut through the woods down to the creek and my neighbor across the street had a big tree fort) while they could still keep an easy eye on them.

There really aren't many younger kids on my street anymore, but there are always tons of kids playing together at the subdivision pool and I see them riding their bikes around and occasionally darting across the street in what I can only imagine is an intense game of tag.

However, just because kids are neighbors doesn't mean they'll be friends. Like I said, I did many organized activities (Girl Scouts, 4H, parks and rec activities and day camps, public library book clubs, dance, martial arts, basketball, and softball- and those were just the ones not related to school extracurriculars!) throughout the year and they kept me active and built great friendships. I'm much better friends with the girls I spent years scouting with than they boys who took their puberty out on me with. :P I don't really think that theres anything wrong with that.
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Old 07-13-2009, 05:00 PM
 
Location: On the Chesapeake
44,910 posts, read 59,905,934 times
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Also, parents have been told that their child needs "organized" activities to make them more competitive. A lot of parents have their kids over scheduled with something every night of the week including weekends. Sometimes more than one activity.

My kids had to choose one, that was it. Oldest daughter did dance, oldest son did Scouts, next daughter did Scouts, youngest son did Scouts. We told them that they weren't going to get hauled to 4H on Monday, Dance on Tuesday, Youth Baseball on Wednesday, private music/dance/crafts lessons on Thursday, Youth Soccer on Friday and the ancillary activities for all of them on Saturday and Sunday. Helped them and us keep focus. The other half of the deal was when they got tired of the activity they could drop it. Remember, they had chosen it for themselves, we didn't choose it for them.

As the three oldest enetered high school each got involved with the theater program as actors, directors or tech-the girls did all three. Son got to crunch time with Eagle and stayed in but just didn't complete the requirements (that must have been hereditary). Youngest son dropped Scouts after a couple years because the den meetings became too much like school-spelling and math worksheets instead of Scout stuff. He is now getting involved in Lacrosse after playing basketball.
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Old 07-14-2009, 03:40 PM
 
Location: Aurora, Colorado
2,212 posts, read 5,136,503 times
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I'm not sure if your situation is like mine, but we've lived here for a year and it wasn't until a few months ago, that I finally figured it out.

I also grew up in a neighborhood where everyone was outside and we would play until the streetlights came on. Every day was something different: kickball, looking for bugs in the woods, rollerskating, etc.

When we moved into our neighborhood there were kids everywhere but my daughter was never included (she's 6). Finally, we stopped playing in the backyard and moved out to the front yard. We brought her bike outside and she practices every day. She does sidewalk chalk and the hula hoop. After about 3 weeks of seeing other kids notice her (but never say anything), we had our dog outside with us and she was a kid magnet. Suddenly, all the kids came over and now, she is all over the neighborhood with her friends. Yesterday, they spent time in our yard playing on the slip and slide and today they are out covering the sidewalks with chalk. She has two birthday parties to go to on Saturday and we just had a neighborhood block party that introduced her to even more people.

My only point is that sometimes YOU have to go out and make the effort. Kids are usually interested in each other but sometimes don't know how to approach each other. We've also discovered "playdates" which are more formal but still let your kids and their friends play together. We only do those with kids who don't live in our immediate neighborhood.

Honestly, when I was growing up (and we didn't have too many rules for the summer), life wasn't all peachy. We had a neighbor who exposed himself to my friends through his window. I knew a LOT about sex (well, at least the sex act) from the boys on our street who took their parents porno mags to share with all of us, and I had my first drink of beer at age 9 (same boys brought a can of beer with them to our playhouse). Perhaps I'm a little more cautious about who my daughter plays with because nowadays, the computer and technology allows people to come into your children's lives pretty easily. I'm not afraid of my neighbors as much as I am of the pedophile or pervert who can get on-line.
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