Kids temperament--does it change much as they get older?
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Yeah - I think you either "pay" up front, or down the road, in terms of dealing with challenging behavior. Some of that is up to the parenting, some is up to the child.
That is so funny that you say that! I remember talking with my mom on the phone when my kids were in their 2's to 4's and saying "Please let it be that they are getting it all out now, and will be great teenagers"! I was very easy going and shy as a little kid, then became a teenager and it was a completely different story!!
I do think kids hang on to certain personality traits, but also learn to control some of them, too. Both of my kids were very strong willed as toddlers, which was very hard to deal with at the time, but now as they are older (10&12), I have found this quality to be a good thing - - - most of the time.
I thnik it depends if the child is displend for bad temper. Everyhtig is a learnign process and soe never get displend therefore why expect te3hm to disp[lend themselves lter ;no matter what the behivior.
I don't think they actually "cahnge" so much, its just that their needs are different, you can actually catch your breath for awhile, any toddler is an intense experience.
When they reach the age where they don't need their every need attended to, you can step back and see the big picture, and its not so bad!
Used to be, I'd have to wake them change them, prepare breakfast and feed them, change them again, dress them, change them again, carry them to the car, strap them in, tote them in to day care---now all I do is knock on the door, by then they're usually awake, all I do is drive them to school, they do really reach an age where they're not so intense.
The years really do go by quick, don't wish them away!
One of my cousins was the most ill-behaved, overbearing, screamy child I have ever encountered. She would hold her breath, stomp her feet, scream, cry and yell at her parents with little provocation.
But that's not a personality trait, which is a long-enduring aspect of one's temperament. (That sounds more like a parenting problem.) I do think that their temperament stays the same. How you handle it may have an effect but one's basic "approach to the world" from young childhood remains fairly consistent throughout one's life.
My wife & I have a 2 and a half year old daughter. She's a great kid but her personality is "intense", for lack of a better word. She gets very upset when things don't go her way or she doesn't get what she wants. I don't think it's really anything all that unusual, especially being that she is in the middle of her terrible twos. But she's always been very emotional, even going back to when she was an infant with lots of crying, colic-y, etc.
I would encourage you to take a good look at your and your wife's personalities and attitudes Try to be as objective as possible and also consider the past. Can you think of any similarities? Can you find similarities between the little girl and your parents for example?
Well my daugher, as a baby and toddler, used to cry and cry herself to sleep when she was very tired. Now at 15 - if she is very tired, she is the grumpiest person ever.....moaning and groaning and stropping around. So she never did like being tired and that hasn't changed. I think personality is one thing....but nurture is the most important. We are all 'prone' to certain behaviours - they are part of 'us' but a lot of our personality development - has to do with how we are treated, taught etc.
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