U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
 
Old 01-24-2010, 05:28 PM
 
Location: Denver area
17,131 posts, read 12,502,852 times
Reputation: 19555

Advertisements

Quote:
Talk about raising a pedophile or rapist. I'll bet boys who enter women's restrooms and locker rooms with their mothers are more prone to deviant behavior than those who go into restrooms and locker rooms meant for their sex.


Wow ... and what exactly is that based on?

I do think that dressing rooms are different than restrooms. In women's restrooms there are stalls with doors. While there are always going to be a few ill behaved kids, for the most part young kids in the restroom with their parents are not running rampant through the restrooms gazing between cracks and under doors. When my son was very young I brought him in with me too. When you have a 3-4 y.o. and you are out without another adult and the child needs to use the restroom, you are not going to send him into the men's restroom by himself. Not only because of strangers but because they still need help at this age. I agree that a 7 yo is different than 4 yo...At 7, I would think a child can go by himself if mom stands outside the door of the men's room (depending on the venue of course)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-24-2010, 05:45 PM
 
Location: Outside always.
1,517 posts, read 1,299,053 times
Reputation: 1539
I think people without children are more likely to object because they don't know the fears that all mothers live with. I used to take my boys with me, and they did not turn out to be pedophiles or deviants. That is totally ridiculous. It is not like they were hanging out in the ladies' room. We went in, did our business, and left. Always err on the side of safety and to heck with anyone who disagrees. Don't talk to them about it, just nod and move on. Would you rather offend someone who is easily offended or protect your children?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-24-2010, 05:49 PM
 
7,777 posts, read 9,645,161 times
Reputation: 7188
Quote:
Originally Posted by smel View Post
I think people without children are more likely to object because they don't know the fears that all mothers live with. I used to take my boys with me, and they did not turn out to be pedophiles or deviants. That is totally ridiculous. It is not like they were hanging out in the ladies' room. We went in, did our business, and left. Always err on the side of safety and to heck with anyone who disagrees. Don't talk to them about it, just nod and move on. Would you rather offend someone who is easily offended or protect your children?
Exactly. I haven't been in the situation recently, but I know if I was in a place that I did not feel comfortable with my son who is 9 to go by himself into a lockerroom or restroom, he would come with me period. It is about the safety of my child. Doing this does not make a child a pedophile.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-24-2010, 06:52 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
1,563 posts, read 2,089,557 times
Reputation: 2659
It wasn't until my sons were older that I would allow them to go into a high-traffic area publlic restroom (7 or 9). It was them that complained, but until they got older they had to go into the womens with me (period). Even after they started going into the large public restrooms, I would stand at the door glaring at every man who entered and open the door asking if they were alright. There was an attack on an 8 year old girl at one of the larger retail stores (a store I frequented). It happened in the men's room; the girl was grabbed and dragged into the restroom - apparently it only took 5 minutes and the girl was found on the floor of the restroom stall (she was alive, but had been raped). It never made national news, like so many of the horrendous things that are done to children don't.
The larger places (malls, airports etc...) now have the family restrooms as an alternative for families and the need for families with young children and babies that want security together.


Earth to NoExcuses; the post is about restrooms not dressing rooms.
Thanks for projecting.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-24-2010, 09:26 PM
 
2,605 posts, read 2,653,379 times
Reputation: 2107
Quote:
Originally Posted by tyvin View Post
Earth to NoExcuses; the post is about restrooms not dressing rooms.
Thanks for projecting.
Earth to tyvin: The post I was addressing was about locker rooms. Get with the program.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-24-2010, 09:47 PM
 
2,605 posts, read 2,653,379 times
Reputation: 2107
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post

Wow ... and what exactly is that based on?
When boys 6,7,8 and up are in locker rooms with their mothers, they begin looking at naked strangers bodies in a different way than when they were younger and innocent. Their curiosity moves into a different realm. They are, in essence, taken into a room for them to see naked females. Mom is encouraging them to be so close to naked stranges they could reach out and touch. What kind of message does that project to the boy?

Same as women's restrooms after about 5 or 6. Boys are just about 3 feet from where there are women sitting on toilets with barely an inch seperating them from sight. I have been in stalls when boys have come in with their mothers and have seen them peeking through the cracks from the corner of their eyes. It's disgusting.

When boys are 7, 8 and 9 years old, those memories stay with them. A mother cannot erase those images from their minds because it suits them. Boys look, and the older they get, the more those looks become sexual for them. Ask any man who, for some reason or another witnessed a naked woman or girl at the age of 7, 8 or 9, or was taken into the ladies room at those ages. They'll remember.

No mother who has taken her sons into women's restrooms and women's locker rooms should be shocked or surprised if they find Playboy or other porn in their sons' room when he's about 10 or 12, or find the boy(s) have been looking at porn on the internet.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-24-2010, 09:51 PM
 
Location: Outside always.
1,517 posts, read 1,299,053 times
Reputation: 1539
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoExcuses View Post
When boys 6,7,8 and up are in locker rooms with their mothers, they begin looking at naked strangers bodies in a different way than when they were younger and innocent. Their curiosity moves into a different realm. They are, in essence, taken into a room for them to see naked females. Mom is encouraging them to be so close to naked stranges they could reach out and touch. What kind of message does that project to the boy?

Same as women's restrooms after about 5 or 6. Boys are just about 3 feet from where there are women sitting on toilets with barely an inch seperating them from sight. I have been in stalls when boys have come in with their mothers and have seen them peeking through the cracks from the corner of their eyes. It's disgusting.

When boys are 7, 8 and 9 years old, those memories stay with them. A mother cannot erase those images from their minds because it suits them. Boys look, and the older they get, the more those looks become sexual for them. Ask any man who, for some reason or another witnessed a naked woman or girl at the age of 7, 8 or 9, or was taken into the ladies room at those ages. They'll remember.

No mother who has taken her sons into women's restrooms and women's locker rooms should be shocked or surprised if they find Playboy or other porn in their sons' room when he's about 10 or 12, or find the boy(s) havebeen looking at porn on the internet.
How many children do you have? You do not have any knowledge or statistics to support your claims.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-24-2010, 09:58 PM
 
Location: Denver area
17,131 posts, read 12,502,852 times
Reputation: 19555
Quote:
They are, in essence, taken into a room for them to see naked females.
No....they are being taken into a room to change clothing to go swimming....

Quote:
What kind of message does that project to the boy?
That everyone, male and female, changes their clothes to go swimming?

Quote:
No mother who has taken her sons into women's restrooms and women's locker rooms should be shocked or surprised if they find Playboy or other porn in their sons' room when he's about 10 or 12, or find the boy(s) have been looking at porn on the internet.
You might find that regardless of the dressing room issue....

Honestly, I do agree that 7-9 is a bit old for being in the women's dressing room at the pool but again, our swimming facility is very family oriented and I always felt safe there. I think you are off the deep end (so to speak) when you just pull a connection between young boys changing into their swim trunks and rapists/pedophiles out of thin air....Actually, I wonder about your feeling toward men in general and what fears you are passing on to your daughter. You come across like someone who believes that all males are sexual predators laying in wait....that is not a healthy attitude to be projecting...just a thought.

Last edited by maciesmom; 01-24-2010 at 10:15 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-24-2010, 10:00 PM
 
8,490 posts, read 9,903,592 times
Reputation: 4919
Quote:
Originally Posted by tyvin View Post
Even after they started going into the large public restrooms, I would stand at the door glaring at every man who entered
For any misguided mothers who feel that this is a good idea, please bring Junior to the ladies room with you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-24-2010, 10:35 PM
 
2,605 posts, read 2,653,379 times
Reputation: 2107
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post

....Actually, I wonder about your feeling toward men in general and what fears you are passing on to your daughter. You come across like someone who believes that all males are sexual predators laying in wait....that is not a healthy attitude to be projecting...just a thought.
I have no fear of men in general and I pass no fear on to my daughter.

I am not an over-protective parent and believe FEW males are sexual predators, unlike so many here on this forum who are so very paranoid of sending their sons into the men's restroom or locker room, or not allowing their children out of their sight because someone might grab them and kill them.

THAT is not a healthy attitude to be projecting. Just a thought.

Let's have a conversation in about 10 years when a lot of these boys are young men. We'll see where society is with perversion then.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $89,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top