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Old 07-21-2009, 10:43 AM
 
Location: The brown house on the cul de sac
2,080 posts, read 4,833,829 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by overworked_mom View Post
Recently my gay 17 year old asked me if he could spend the night at his friends house. I know that the other boy is gay but my son tells me they are just friends and two other boys (also gay) will be there as well. I just don't know how I feel about this any advice?
What exactly is the problem if they are just friends? Why would you assume something sexual would happen?

If your son wasn't gay would you have a second thought about letting him sleepover?

Seems a lot of posters are equating gayness with promiscuity, an unfair stereotype for this teen who probably already feels alienated.

Talk to him, express your fears to him, hear his reaction. Than make your decision.
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Old 07-21-2009, 04:34 PM
 
Location: Victoria TX
42,579 posts, read 86,702,293 times
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I think you are overestimating the likelihood that two young people will have sex simply because they are together in a place where they could. People around age 17 have very wide circies of friends and acquaintances, and they often find themselves in places where they could have anything from a twosome to an orgy if they were so inclined. But they just don't. Yes, there are circles of friends who do, but a great majority of 17-yos have had sex with very few partners, if any, and there is a reason for that --- they just don't jump into bed with each other every time they have the chance. Adults don't either, which probably surprises a lot of jealous spouses.

Last edited by jtur88; 07-21-2009 at 04:53 PM..
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Old 07-21-2009, 05:44 PM
 
Location: The #1 sunshine state, Arizona.
12,169 posts, read 17,607,482 times
Reputation: 64102
Quote:
Originally Posted by djacques View Post
I don't see what you or anyone else would gain by saying no whether they are "just friends" or not. There is nothing wrong with two healthy 17-year-olds having sex, and as has been pointed out, there is no chance of pregnancy here.
Yes and it's not like they should "save it" for marriage.
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Old 07-21-2009, 05:46 PM
 
Location: southern california
61,289 posts, read 87,195,928 times
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if you had a girl and she wanted to sleep over with a guy you would not allow it even if 17.
the same rule applies here.
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Old 07-21-2009, 06:09 PM
 
Location: The brown house on the cul de sac
2,080 posts, read 4,833,829 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
if you had a girl and she wanted to sleep over with a guy you would not allow it even if 17.
the same rule applies here.
Ah, but what if the boy is gay?
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Old 07-22-2009, 08:17 AM
 
6,034 posts, read 10,658,774 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
if you had a girl and she wanted to sleep over with a guy you would not allow it even if 17.
the same rule applies here.
This is a blanket statement; it doesn't apply to every single teenager. Some of them are quite capable of deciding for themselves. It all depends on if you raised them to use their brains, or if you sheltered them so much that they're overwhelmed when they get out into the real world.
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Old 07-22-2009, 12:53 PM
 
1,156 posts, read 3,740,796 times
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I think this just boils down to the OP's personal feelings/impression about how their son would behave, and is that in a way that the parent finds acceptable. Hopefully the parent knows the other kids invited, or at least most of them. Thinking back to myself as a teenager - I wouldn't have done anything scandalous in a situation like that, and so I would have appreciated being trusted.
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Old 07-22-2009, 08:49 PM
 
2,126 posts, read 6,785,447 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mercury Cougar View Post
This is a blanket statement; it doesn't apply to every single teenager. Some of them are quite capable of deciding for themselves. It all depends on if you raised them to use their brains, or if you sheltered them so much that they're overwhelmed when they get out into the real world.
17 year old boys don't use their brain. I don't care how smart and level-headed they seem. The urges in a 17 year old boy are amazingly powerful.
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Old 07-22-2009, 09:07 PM
 
Location: Iowa
85 posts, read 316,525 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by overworked_mom View Post
Recently my gay 17 year old asked me if he could spend the night at his friends house. I know that the other boy is gay but my son tells me they are just friends and two other boys (also gay) will be there as well. I just don't know how I feel about this any advice?
I would treat this as if he were heterosexual and wanting to stay with a girl. I would probably say no. That said, the boy is 17 and well, possibly having sex, it's certainly not too late to re-stress the importance of safe sex.
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Old 07-23-2009, 01:57 PM
 
31 posts, read 77,857 times
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As a gay teenager, I have to say it would be wise for you to say NO. Boys will be boys.
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