U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 07-20-2009, 06:18 PM
 
106 posts, read 216,312 times
Reputation: 86

Advertisements

This afternoon was "meet & greet" day at my oldest's school to talk to the teacher, find out what they're going to need in a couple of weeks, and sign countless papers.

One of those "papers" was a consent form for corporal punishment. Now, as i've replied to several posts on here, I was on the receiving end of a paddle or two in my day and my son even got his first actual spanking from me at home just a couple of weeks ago, so i'm not opposed to spanking when absolutely needed and he now knows that.

However, I remember the embarassment of "getting it" at school with all of my friends listening for the "smack" sounds from the hallway and giggling like crazy as I slinked back to my desk afterward. I'm really not sure I want that for him....thinking i'd rather handle that kind of discipline at home.

As I said, i'm not anti-paddling per se, but when I told the teacher I wanted to think about that, I got that subtle "oh, he's one of those" expressions...and I really don't mean to be hard to deal with.

So, am I just being a total hypocrit (sp?) here?...Should I take the "if it's o.k. at home, it's o.k. at school" approach and sign the form?...after all, I survived the occasional embarassment and was better behaved knowing what was in the teacher's desk drawer...not reallly a huge deal.

On the other hand, I had the discussion with my son late last school-year over what would happen if he got a bad note sent home regarding behavior and I think he's just as aware of notes as I was of the teacher's paddle....both will likely have the same "end" result.

btw...his mom signed the permission last year and there were no "events", so he may not ever need a paddling anyway...but, I imagine he'll have his moments just like I did We're starting second grade.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-20-2009, 06:56 PM
 
Location: Cleveland, OH
753 posts, read 1,453,384 times
Reputation: 733
I do not agree with schools doing corporal punishment. In my opinion, this is just a way for parents to shirk their responsibilities of being the disciplinarian. As you stated, a child can have equal amounts of fear of a paddle or a note.

I don't like the fact that this gives schools the ability to decide when the punishment should occur without discussing it with parents. One would think it would only be used in drastic situations, but I've listened to several stories where it was completely inapproriate.

It also doesn't allow parents to decide how much is enough or too much. There was even a case in the news where a teenage girl was paddled for arguing on the basketball court with a teen from the other team. They never got into a fist fight. The girl was taken to the hospital because she had welts, bruising, couldn't sit down and had a hard time walking. So basically some wacko school principle got off on spanking some young girl. If I was that girls mother, there would have been a beat down you can not even imagine!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-20-2009, 07:09 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
745 posts, read 1,418,672 times
Reputation: 409
Anybody paddling my kid would get a paddling from me or my husband. That is something only a parent has a right to do.

BTW, schools in my state are excellent and there is no corporal punishment. I've visited the class rooms many times and have been very impressed with how well behaved the children are, both elementary and middle school. Not that kids don't get punished if necessary, the staff tolerates no misbehavior.

Last edited by geekduo; 07-20-2009 at 07:24 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-20-2009, 07:40 PM
 
1,122 posts, read 1,310,050 times
Reputation: 710
AHH! Its just shock to hear that this is even still out there. We rarely spank. There is little need for it BUT we take disapline very seriously. I would think I could handle and decide when my kid gets disaplined and what type of disapline is appropriate. I would never trust another adult's ability to handle their own restraint. Besides, with as many times kids get into to trouble when they shouldn't while others always seem to get away with it, I don't think its fair or right. You're also putting the responsibility in the hands of general teachers or principles who are not trained in diagnosising or handling the needs of children with special needs. Spanking rather than addressing the root of the issue will only make it worse.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-20-2009, 08:26 PM
 
106 posts, read 216,312 times
Reputation: 86
Yeah, in our state, corporal punishment is decided by the individual school system (we're in the south as you could probably guess:-)

And, i've never had a real problem with it having gotten it myself as a kid...but, alot changes when you have kids yourself, especially in today's world. I'm just not sure anyone can be trusted that much anymore....And, looking down at that paper entitled "CORPORAL PUNISHMENT CONSENT" with a pen in my hand really made me flash back...kind of surreal being on that side of the equation:-)

I rarely told my parents of my paddle encounters as a kid...unless I felt REALLY guilty and needed the relief that could only come from being fussed at...hahaha. And, looking back I really don't think that was right. I'm not sure if a note comes home afterward these days, but really regardless....i'm leaning toward the "teacher writes a note....we decide the penalty" approach. After all, as I said...he knows what that note will likely mean unless he's got a really good explanation and an afternoon of dreading the presentation of the note is worse than a paddling anyway.

Last edited by jbar; 07-20-2009 at 09:39 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-20-2009, 08:54 PM
 
749 posts, read 1,093,308 times
Reputation: 916
Nope. No paddling for my kids. I believe spanking has a place up til they are about 4yrs or so but once they reach school age it shouldn't be needed. I think that a lot of teachers are not given the support they need from parents on discipline ( you know the ones, Mrs. Smith hates my son Johnny so she is always sending me notes about him), and my kids know that if they get in trouble at school they will be in bigger trouble at home, but paddling should not be an option.

If a parent wants to discipline their kids that way that's one thing buts that's where it should stay at home.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-20-2009, 08:57 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton
9,342 posts, read 16,566,150 times
Reputation: 9040
NO PADDLING IN SCHOOL! What year is this?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-20-2009, 09:38 PM
 
106 posts, read 216,312 times
Reputation: 86
Quote:
Originally Posted by HIF View Post
NO PADDLING IN SCHOOL! What year is this?
I know....in some areas, it's actually not the dead "old days" practice that most people think it is.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-20-2009, 09:46 PM
 
6,039 posts, read 6,059,462 times
Reputation: 3822
Quote:
Originally Posted by jbar View Post

As I said, i'm not anti-paddling per se, but when I told the teacher I wanted to think about that, I got that subtle "oh, he's one of those" expressions...and I really don't mean to be hard to deal with.

So, am I just being a total hypocrit (sp?) here?...Should I take the "if it's o.k. at home, it's o.k. at school" approach and sign the form?...after all, I survived the occasional embarassment and was better behaved knowing what was in the teacher's desk drawer...not reallly a huge deal.
No freakin' way. NOBODY hits my kids and gets away with it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-20-2009, 10:11 PM
 
1,122 posts, read 1,310,050 times
Reputation: 710
Quote:
Originally Posted by skahar View Post
Nope. No paddling for my kids. I believe spanking has a place up til they are about 4yrs or so but once they reach school age it shouldn't be needed. I think that a lot of teachers are not given the support they need from parents on discipline ( you know the ones, Mrs. Smith hates my son Johnny so she is always sending me notes about him), and my kids know that if they get in trouble at school they will be in bigger trouble at home, but paddling should not be an option.

If a parent wants to discipline their kids that way that's one thing buts that's where it should stay at home.
I totally agree about the age. I can't remember the last time my 7 or 5 year olds needed a spanking to get the point across. As far as teachers, some teachers are weird and do hold grudges. I remember a teacher who question your relationship to your relatives on school day #1 and comment with a glare about what a handful they were, even with distant cousins who I didn't really know much other than they had my last name. To be swift and get their point across immediantly with you thinking being that way is the answer, they go after you for getting excited and blurting out an answer or something innocent, really seriously going off on you but then the kid passing notes got a simple, don't do it again please. One example goes about passing notes where to girls would reach over my desk, to pass notes and try to get me to pass them. When I protested, I got into trouble or when the girls were caught over my desk, it must be because I was doing something, regardless if I said they were passing a note. Very unusual and unfair since I was a generally a model student.

That is why I would never trust a teachers judgement to punish my children. No thank you. I'll handle it. I have high expectations and can get my point across without hitting them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top