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Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UpNorth
My 7 year old has me concerned. During his independent play time (dramatic play time) he plays with his toys (legos, dinosaurs, bionicles, etc.) in a very "villain" oriented way. It's like he'd obsessed with "bad guys." He uses words like "evil" a LOT. He plays with his little toys using creepy voices that his says are "scary voices" or "evil voices" for the "bad guys."
Also, when we're reading stories to him, he always wants to read the "bad guys'" lines using his "evil/scary" voice.
I try to play with him often and model kind, friendly play with his bionicles and dinosaurs and so on, but he's not interested in "mommy's way of playing."
Should I take away his toys like bionicles? How should I handle this? He doesn't have any close friends and I'm worried that this odd behavior will repel friends and concern his teachers come fall (our family is moving to a new town and I want him to be able to make friends without these new friends' parents thinking his behavior is troubling.)
Also, at a playground today, he went up to another child and his mother and while spinning around, he said, "I'm an evil tornado... I love everything that's evil." And he said this using his "scary voice." I calmly took him aside and I told him that talking about evil things like that could scare that child and mother. He calmly said "ok mommy" and dashed over to swing.
Am I simply over-reacting? I'd love to hear from parents who can offer gentle advice regarding this situation. Thank you.
You know, I used to identify more with the villain in the cartoons and the movies. I always felt a little sorry for Dr. Claw on inspector gadget and I just thought that Mumrah was much cooler than Liono and the other thundercats. I hated Snarf.
It wasn't a big deal. I learned my lessons after being incarcerated only once and have been a model citizen ever since. It is difficult to find gainful employment or get a home loan as a convicted felon, however.
Seriously, no big deal. Boys do this to get a rise out of their mothers. Worry about him torturing or poisoning neighborhood cats and pulling the wings off flies but what you are describing does not sound very out of the ordinary. Afterall, someone has to be Black Bart and someone has to be Red Rider. He's just filling a neighborhood niche.
No need to worry. My first son has been fascinated with guns since he was 3 and I did worry some until every boy he has ever played with has had the same fascination. Then last year my DH suggested they practice for deer hunting my son said no-way he could ever shoot a deer, he just likes to pretend.
North Beach Person: What's "independent play time"? Please don't say that you're scheduling the "type" of play.
I used the term "independent" play to illustrate the times when my son plays alone, versus play times involving other children/siblings (which is termed social/cooperative play. I had no mention of any type of "scheduling."
I truly don't appreciate your pre-judgmental, passive-aggressive assumption.
Your playground example just made me remember one of my more slightly embarrassing playground times. My son was almost four and we were living in NH with a crowd of mothers that seemed a little more PC than normal. I was reading the abridged version of Moby Dick to my son at home (his choice). With this inspiration, my son found a long, thin branch that had broken off and ran around the playground "harpooning" whales. Cue the meek, apoligizing smile on my face.... Did I mention we are vegetarians, too? He got over the harpooning soon after finishing the book.
North Beach Person: What's "independent play time"? Please don't say that you're scheduling the "type" of play.
I used the term "independent" play to illustrate the times when my son plays alone, versus play times involving other children/siblings (which is termed social/cooperative play. I had no mention of any type of "scheduling."
I truly don't appreciate your pre-judgmental, passive-aggressive assumption.
Awfully defensive concerning a simple question.
You might need to drop the jargon-or stop projecting onto others.
And stop reading new age child rearing blogs.
Going through somewhat similar situation here. I am a girl and I grew up with all girls... We raised our son for the first five years with nonviolence in mind, a focus on creativity and learning, yadda, yadda, yadda. He must be getting a kick of testerone or something because he seems to have a need to tackle all the time and bombs, dynomite and overall destruction are cool.
I really don't know what to do, but it does seem to be normal... I'm trying walk the line between letting him think I am totally okay with it but not making him think there is something bad about him for thinking/acting that way.
I have two boys, too. One is more aggressive in his play than the other one, but both of them love to wrestle, love to play good guys/bad guys. It drives me up the wall! Then god forbid if one of them gets hurt while they're playing aggressively (after I've told them a thousand times "someone's going to get hurt!"). Then the drama really starts!
Whoever said girls are more dramatic than boys, never had two boys similar in age!!!
My eight year old, much to my chagrin, is only interested in playing war, and Darth Vader, and the bad guys from Transformers, and things like that. When he turned four, he started building guns out of legos and finding sticks that look like guns... we didn't allow him to have toy guns. Finally we started allowing him to get toy guns from the dollar tree a couple of years ago. He loves toy guns, swords, cannons, and other weapons. It's all normal.
I sincerely did not (and do not) mean to upset anyone by clarifying what I meant by "independent play." Nor can say that I agree with the terms "independent," "social," or "cooperative" being labeled as jargon. But to each his/her own.
I simply responded to the question that was asked: "what's independent play?" I also voiced my opinion that, to me, stating "Please don't say that you're..." can be very offensive to an already concerned/worried parent. I didn't request for my parenting to be criticized; I asked for gentle advice from other parents regarding my described situation.
I interpreted this forum to be place where concerned parents can network with others to find support and/or advice in a non-threatening way. I now question whether or not to post another question at this site in the future, in fear that advice and support won't be offered. Currently my words have been misinterpreted by a member and suddenly I'm accused of "projecting jargon" and reading "new-age" materials that were never before mentioned by me. It's too bad that threads can go astray so quickly.
I do greatly appreciate the supportive advice and ideas that I've read thus far from most of you.
It's definitely comforting to hear that many other parents have gone through similar times in their own childrens' lives. I certainly hope that this "villain" thing is just a passing phase. We don't have a video game player (as asked by some), but I'm sure my son's cartoon viewing should and will be carefully monitored.
Just chiming in to say totally, completely normal! My 7 yr old is the same way. He adores Darth Vader and all the villians, and loves Indianna Jones because those guys are all cool!
Instead of worrying about it, cherish the fact he is still using his imagination instead of sitting down in front of the tv or game box all day and letting the entertainment be handed to him instead.
I promise, your child will not grow up to be the next Darth Vader.
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