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Old 07-25-2009, 07:42 AM
 
467 posts, read 979,965 times
Reputation: 232

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kids have been doing that for centuries. In the old days kids played cowboys and Indians or Stage coach robbers, Cops and Robbers, Batman and Joker, Knights, Soldiers, Robinhood vs the Sheriff of Nottingham, Spies you name it. Its a normal kid thing, esp for boys. But girls do it too.

Pretty much any story has an antogonist in it that gets his just due in the end. During the Cold War years I remember playing James Bond against the Russian spies. Just fun and games.
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Old 07-25-2009, 01:46 PM
 
1,429 posts, read 4,266,139 times
Reputation: 2049
My oldest's preK teacher told him that he was "in touch with his dark side". It is true.... he felt sorry for Scar in Lion King and felt that Darth Maul was undervalued. This same boy at the age of 18 months went to another child's cubbie and got her comfy toy when she was feeling sick. Son is now 15 and a compassionate young man. He still likes the bad guys and plays metal rock, but there is not a thing that would consitiute any kind of red flag for violent or "evil" behavior. Son is also a loner and not too concerned for mainstream popularity. As a matter of fact, he enjoys being different. He likes that he has an MP3 while everyone has Ipods... he likes that he listens to Motley Crue while everyone else hums Black Eyed Peas. I am glad that he has a mind of his own and will stand behind his convictions instead of trying to conform to be accepted.
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Old 07-25-2009, 03:17 PM
 
Location: TN
264 posts, read 817,239 times
Reputation: 290
Quote:
Originally Posted by UpNorth View Post
I sincerely did not (and do not) mean to upset anyone by clarifying what I meant by "independent play." Nor can say that I agree with the terms "independent," "social," or "cooperative" being labeled as jargon. But to each his/her own.

I simply responded to the question that was asked: "what's independent play?" I also voiced my opinion that, to me, stating "Please don't say that you're..." can be very offensive to an already concerned/worried parent. I didn't request for my parenting to be criticized; I asked for gentle advice from other parents regarding my described situation.

I interpreted this forum to be place where concerned parents can network with others to find support and/or advice in a non-threatening way. I now question whether or not to post another question at this site in the future, in fear that advice and support won't be offered. Currently my words have been misinterpreted by a member and suddenly I'm accused of "projecting jargon" and reading "new-age" materials that were never before mentioned by me. It's too bad that threads can go astray so quickly.

I do greatly appreciate the supportive advice and ideas that I've read thus far from most of you.

It's definitely comforting to hear that many other parents have gone through similar times in their own childrens' lives. I certainly hope that this "villain" thing is just a passing phase. We don't have a video game player (as asked by some), but I'm sure my son's cartoon viewing should and will be carefully monitored.

Thanks again everyone for your time.


A few bad apples....
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Old 07-26-2009, 10:23 AM
 
106 posts, read 381,669 times
Reputation: 89
100% boy behavior. He could be our 7-yo's twin Explaining to him that "evil" is a word that some people view differently can't hurt. But during play, they often take the role of the "bad guy". It's more intersting and unusual to them....like playing the part of the "robber" was when many of us were kids...requires more imagination.

Unless he gets into saying and portraying things that are actually disturbing...graphic details, bad words, etc....I wouldn't worry too much at all.
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Old 07-26-2009, 10:54 AM
 
47,525 posts, read 69,450,300 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UpNorth View Post
My 7 year old has me concerned. During his independent play time (dramatic play time) he plays with his toys (legos, dinosaurs, bionicles, etc.) in a very "villain" oriented way. It's like he'd obsessed with "bad guys." He uses words like "evil" a LOT. He plays with his little toys using creepy voices that his says are "scary voices" or "evil voices" for the "bad guys."

Also, when we're reading stories to him, he always wants to read the "bad guys'" lines using his "evil/scary" voice.

I try to play with him often and model kind, friendly play with his bionicles and dinosaurs and so on, but he's not interested in "mommy's way of playing."

Should I take away his toys like bionicles? How should I handle this? He doesn't have any close friends and I'm worried that this odd behavior will repel friends and concern his teachers come fall (our family is moving to a new town and I want him to be able to make friends without these new friends' parents thinking his behavior is troubling.)

Also, at a playground today, he went up to another child and his mother and while spinning around, he said, "I'm an evil tornado... I love everything that's evil." And he said this using his "scary voice." I calmly took him aside and I told him that talking about evil things like that could scare that child and mother. He calmly said "ok mommy" and dashed over to swing.

Am I simply over-reacting? I'd love to hear from parents who can offer gentle advice regarding this situation. Thank you.
He probably needs more outlets for his typical boy play, not fewer. Often little girls enjoy some of this kind of play and you might try to play dinosaur games more realistically and have the big dinosaurs attack and eat the smaller ones because that's what they did. You could make "mommy's way of playing" more fun and still introduce in some of your values like showing sadness from one of the other smaller dinosaurs when their friend gets eaten or show them grouping together to fight off the bigger ones.
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