Challenges of young parents! (teens, support, wife, accident)

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by katerinaver

Thank you all,
If anyone else has any further insight please add your post. All the answers so far have been very interesting. The reason I started this post was that I am currently a young mother also . I'm 25 and my child is 3 years old. I certainly found a lot of similarities in my situation and many of your posts, so to add to you guys here's my story in a nutshell:

I became pregnant at 21, surprisingly and was going out with my son's father at the time, but our relationship was rocky to say the least. Mine was one of those stories that you see in the movies where I went to an abortion clinic but was unable to do it. Thank GOD for that. I think he was watching over me that day! Now, I have a beautiful son!
Our relationship has been hard with raising a child, living with in laws and all the pressures that come with that. Eventually we got our own place and when my son was 8 months old I went back to school. School has become very important for me and now I'm planning to get my master's as well.
I decided not to get married and the truth is just because I am not sure if he is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.
We have a lot of issues still fights, disagreements that would probably take to long to explain. I constantly struggle with the idea of leaving or staying but at this point in time it's important for me to stay to work on our relationship at least for the sake of the family.
I still feel that I love him at times but I don't have that in love feeling.
He is a good father but there have been so many negative things in our relationship that were done by him that it's hard to just forget that.
Anyway I'm rambling away here...
If anyone has any further commets please post!

Kudos to you for doing the right thing for yourself and having your son

I had my first son as a young married college student when I was 23 and have NEVER regretted it for a second. I had my second child years later when I was just over 30 and the two experiences were like night and day - not in a bad way, just different My youngest son is my heart, but my older one is my soul - we grew up together.

You just hang in there and continue to keep your son as your focus - that will help you make all the right choices going forward. Best of luck to you!

[Christie Love 71]

I had my first child at 19, and it definitely made my life much harder. People often mistakenly believe that girls end up pregnant because they're "frisky" as one of my coworkers called it, which I wasn't.

I had to drop out of college and I never made it back. I'm not with his dad anymore, we haven't spoken since I told him I was pregnant. I've had to overcome people judging me for being a teen mom: assuming that I'm a welfare recipient, irresponsible, that I sleep around, or that a teen mom can't raise good kids, etc. I definitely wasn't the stereotypical teen mom; peole are shocked to find out I was a teen mom. I have made a wonderful life for my children, and I've done it WITHOUT public assistance. I am proud of my kids and the decisions that they've made.

Originally Posted by katerinaver

I became a parent at a pretty young age and wanted to hear from women/men who were in similar situations.
If you became a parent early in life, lets say before the age of 25 please share your experiences.
Were you going to school at the time?
Did you get a chance to go to college?
Are you still with the child's father?
How's that relationship going?
What kind of obstacles you had to overcome?
Thanks

[katerinaver]

Thank you all for your inputs- for those struggling right now- just be strong and you can overcome anything! I think education is very important so finish it if you can!
Best of luck!
If there are still any more people who would like to share their story please do so- would love to hear it!

[Pikantari]

I had my son when I was twenty and my daughter when I was twenty-two. It was not the easiest thing in my life but I made it.

I was not currently enrolled in school and I stayed at home and cared for my kids until they were both in school.

I was able to go to school a bit later but do wish to have more further education.

My husband and I have been apart now for a little over two years. We lasted for seventeen years.

I would do it over again with a few tweaks here and there.

We had to overcome the, "They'll never make it." obstacles, and I think we did that pretty well. People telling us that all the time actually made it easier for us to make it.

I do believe in the sanctity of marriage and wish it did not have to turn out the way it did.

If I could have changed anything it would be me going to a four year college and waiting to get married/have children.

I may not have been with the same man had I done that and our relationship could be still going strong.

[katerinaver]

please anyone else with more insight please respond- also if you could add what career path you ended up following, that would be great

[Emnique]

I'm aware that this post is quite old, but I felt compelled to share my story as well.

Unlike many of you, I became pregnant before the age of 18. I was 17 when I found out; one month before my 18th birthday. The devastation I felt is indescribable. I cried and cried some more and then I called my boyfriend. Thank God for him. He was so comforting and calming. We agreed that I would tell my parents when the time was right. Unfortunately, I ended up blabbing the day after because I couldn't hold back my tears. My father was sick to his stomach and couldn't even look at me. My mother hugged me and we just cried together on the couch. I called my baby sister and told her. She was on her way back from Washington D.C. and she cried as well. I thought my life was over.

A few months passed and things settled down. Dad was still upset with me and definitely upset with my boyfriend. It was difficult to make time to see each other even though I was 18; but I was still under my parent's roof. Dad and I had a very strained relationship throughout this time.

When I gave birth, my son was 5 weeks early. He was perfect in every way, although a little on the small side--except long (5 lb., 10 oz. and 20 in. long). The first few months were difficult, but my son wasn't a colicy child. He was calm, happy and a blessing to say the least. You wouldn't believe the change in my father when he was born. He looked at the baby once and his heart melted; you could see it in his eyes.

On Saturday mornings, I would be up at 6 a.m. to feed him and Dad would come down stairs and take over. He spent every Saturday morning with my son. He would feed him, play with him, sing to him. He still talks about how they used to "drink coffee together" (dad would drink coffee and my son would drink his bottle). They would go outside to look at the flowers and watch tv.

My boyfriend and I were married in May 2008. We ended up moving in with his mom because my mother criticized my every move after the baby was born. Dad and I became inseparable---the second best thing to come out of my pregnancy. We had such a rocky relationship beforehand but him and I are closer than ever. I can't thank God enough for that.

It was incredibly difficult not having our own place, with both of our mothers wanting to butt in and tell us what we're doing wrong. However, we vowed that we would stay until we could find our own place and be stable enough to go.

Husband lost his job, got a new one, was laid off and unemployed for 6 months. I was self-employed, working from home, bringing in the only source of income. It was so hard. Finally, he had a break and found a job making more than he's ever made. Then he found another job. So, now he's working 2 jobs and I'm still working from home. We bought a house in February 2011. Things are looking up.

My son was the greatest blessing. Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve such wonderful things but then I think; we prevailed.

[Emnique]

I'm sorry, I didn't see the first post.

I dropped out of high school. I did go back to receive my GED. I have not attended college, but I will be attending in the Fall 2011 for mental-health specialist.

I am still with my child's father. It is going well, but the relationship is sometimes strained because we rarely get to see each other and when he is home, we are both incredibly tired. However, these are the sacrifices we know we have to make in order to be stable in the future and provide the best family for our son that we can.

We've overcome many obstacles from intrusive in-Laws to financial burdens and job loss. We've dealt with problems in our place of residence, never seeing one another. I must say though, financial problems seemed to be the biggest burden of them all. But finally, three years later, we have our own home and we're finally living about as peacefully as we have since I became pregnant.

[aklapps]

i got pregnant with my first son when i was 17 had him when i was 18 i was with the babies father but we did not have a good relationship we were on and off all the time but finally when he was 1 and a half we got back together and ended up getting married and we have been married now for 5 years and have two more children a little girl that is 4 and a lil boy that is 2, we have had many hard times with money and schooling and people from the outside looking in but we have gotten thought it and now i am in school tobecome a nurse he has a good job and we have our own home away from all the drama.

for school when i found out i was pregnant i ended up leaving high school but went and got my GED when i was 19

[sparkk2chane]

My mom married at 18 and had me when she was 19. My dad was 23. After they had me they did have to struggle with the fact that they both worked full time and they had to take care of me, too. But they managed by working shifts (she was a nurse, he was a waiter) and having some extra help from one of my grandmothers.
Looking back on things, I do remember they had plenty of energy to play with me and my brother. When my father came home after a hard day at work he could still play with us, which was great because we were both very naughty.
So now I have very young parents: mom is 46, dad is 50, I am almost 27, but still, don't intend to have kids for the next couple of years.

[JustJulia]

Originally Posted by katerinaver

I became a parent at a pretty young age and wanted to hear from women/men who were in similar situations.
If you became a parent early in life, lets say before the age of 25 please share your experiences.
Were you going to school at the time?
Did you get a chance to go to college?
Are you still with the child's father?
How's that relationship going?
What kind of obstacles you had to overcome?
Thanks

I was 22. I finished my junior year of college but dropped out after that. We are still together, yes. We spent all weekend doing yardwork and cleaning out the garage.

What kind of obstacles did we have to overcome? Pretty typical stuff, I guess--mostly due to being young and broke. We've had some harrowing experiences but all in all we are pretty lucky.

Edited: I realize this is an old post. I just moved it from a different forum.