Feeling like I can't get everything done... (teenagers, divorced, babies)
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I need advice on how to take care of a one-year-old and manage to have personal time, clean the house, make dinner, do laundry, write, read, etc. I only have one child and I feel like I can't keep up with everything. I pack all I can into the last three hours of the day, because that's the time he's sleeping!
I also teach part-time, but in five weeks I'll be finished until he goes to preschool. I'm even more nervous about staying home, because I'll have a bigger mess to clean!
LOL, I fretted about that for years when my children were young. They will never remember the dust bunnies under the beds, but they will remember the walks to the park, the trips to the zoo, or that favorite book you two read. Relax, it will get done. Enjoy this beautiful time that you have been blessed with and savor every minute, they grow up way too fast.
I need advice on how to take care of a one-year-old and manage to have personal time, clean the house, make dinner, do laundry, write, read, etc. I only have one child and I feel like I can't keep up with everything. I pack all I can into the last three hours of the day, because that's the time he's sleeping!
I also teach part-time, but in five weeks I'll be finished until he goes to preschool. I'm even more nervous about staying home, because I'll have a bigger mess to clean!
You feel like that because you are obviously a good mom. Good moms who spend quality time and pay attention to their children have messy houses, undone errands and only read childen's books....LOL
Buy a crock pot so you can't burn dinner, let the house be a little less clean, and schedule an hour a day just for yourself - that's what husband's are for! As for reading and writing....they may have to wait until you are done working and then you may be able to fit that in during nap time...if you don't stress about the house too much. Oh and it gets better, when they are five you get your life almost all back, that's what kindergarten if for.
Dont worry about the house ;it will still be standing in 20 years when the children are gone to college. You cannot get back their years. There will always be laundry, but it dosnt have to be done perfect ; dryers take the place of irons in my house.
When they get a little older, books will be always there to read. Dont try to do it all perfectly ; give yourself a little break on the perfect route.
Just be there for your child ; thats what he will remember ; he could remember that the house was always perfect but mummy wasnt there for me.
Easier said than done.
dorothy
My house is a pig stye and I don't care. I tell my husband that memories are more important then making the bed or clean dishes.
My first son I was a single mom - but the dad was still in the picture
Where is your child's dad? Both my EX and MY husband give me tons of "me" time. I would go to the gym by myself, or go out to lunch with some girl friends.
OK here's what I do. During nap time, sit on your tail and do NOTHING more than read or breath. Whatever you like but don't run around frantic because you need some down time too. For the rest of the day play w/your child. You can always fold clothes on the couch while Thomas or Sesame Street is on. At the end of the day do what is ABSOLUTELY necessary. It is so very hard to do it all, I understand. Especially after they quit sleeping all day and start walking. Darn near impossible. Don't feel guilty and don't beat yourself up. If we have clean undies and lunch packed in the a.m. I am satisfied. You can also pick a chore a day, leave laundry for Sunday since you are starting a new week. They grow up so fast and I am pretty sure lil ones don't mind if you use the same towel twice
I need advice on how to take care of a one-year-old and manage to have personal time, clean the house, make dinner, do laundry, write, read, etc. I only have one child and I feel like I can't keep up with everything. I pack all I can into the last three hours of the day, because that's the time he's sleeping! I also teach part-time, but in five weeks I'll be finished until he goes to preschool. I'm even more nervous about staying home, because I'll have a bigger mess to clean!
Three words: Mother's Day Out. Check out area churches - you don't have to be a member to enroll your child. But, alas, don't expect a full day. Three or four hours is it.
Besides that...the house doesn't have to be that clean, and the kid won't be 1 that long...your personal time may shrink, but enjoy your little one while he or she is little! It goes by in a flash.
Thank you all so much for your advice. I was expecting to hear organization plans, but from what I hear, the little guy matters more than the dishes. I knew that, but I never really put it in perspective. Thanks for helping!
One is such a tough age! I felt like I was constantly hovering around my kids at that age. They're just learning to walk and find a whole new world to explore!
As for advice, make a schedule and stick to it. Some stuff needs to be done daily (dinner, dishes, load of laundry), some stuff weekly (dusting, cleaning the bathroom), some stuff is somewhere inbetween (vacuuming, dumping the trash) and some is less frequent (cleaning the fridge). Assign chores to each day of the week. Try to group the bigger chores on one day, so you can get it done in less than an hour a day the rest of the week.
Planning takes time, but it saves time in the long run. Plan your meals, make your grocery list, shop once a week. Group errands so you only go out one time, not four trips.
P.S. If you have a partner, there's no reason why s/he can't take over some of the chores like dinner, baths, laundry, etc.
Let me tell you a little story. This old & dear girl friend of mine is obsessed with having a clean picture perfect house. Her one & only child must always be clean, pressed and have every blond hair in place. Shoes including sneakers cannot have scuffs. She even wipes the leaves on her houseplants with some kind of oil. I spoke to her the other day and she was actually complaining & fretting about "Oh I have so much work to do around here, MY BLINDS HAVE DUST ON THEM" I just stared at the cell phone and told her "Ahh... I gotta go..."
Not once did she tell me about an activity or funny story with her kid.
There are extremes in every family. My Ex sister in law, sat on her lazy (fat) rear, never cooked, watched soap operas and played floor (board) games with her 3 kids. Her excuse was "I want to be my daughters friend and spend time with them" she said "Spending time with my kids is more important than cleaning" Then I visited and I turned into the crazy Cleaning Aunt. It was unhealthy. My brother (her husband at the time) was embarassed. There were ants and some kinds of *gasp* maggots living in her junk drawer. There was mold in the laundry basket and black mold in the shower/bathtub. The inside of the refridgerator was disgusting. When something spilled, she never wiped it up. I was actually relieved when my brother divorced her lazy @ss.
Would we all love a clean house. Sure. But let's be honest, would it stay that way for long? My home is lived in, 24/7 and then some.
Babies become little kids and little kids become teenagers. Pretty soon when your house is perfectly clean, all the letters & cute "Hi" cards to girlfriends are mailed, the blinds are dust free and every night you invited the four food groups to a delicious nutritious breakfast/lunch & dinner......those babies will be all grown up. They will be independant teenagers that will call you "uncool" plus they will be moody, tired, hungry and worst of all they won't want to go to the park with you. The sprinkler will be used for lawn watering only, the patch of mud in the backyard will grow deep green grass (finally) and you won't know what to do with all those old toys crowding your garage. OMG- I think I just made myself cry
So this is not directed to anyone particular. I just wanted to say that I completely agree with the opinions of the other posters. Find a happy medium. The key that I keep hearing about over & over on all the TV & advice books is " SCHEDULE".
Kids thrive on knowing whats coming & what to expect. One hour of TV per day. I even have my 3 & 4 year old calling the TV The Idiot Box & The Boob Tube. (we allow those silly names) Good luck & cut yourself a break. No ones perfect. June Cleaver is a myth.
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I have a friend
The sprinkler will be used for lawn watering only, the patch of mud in the backyard will grow deep green grass (finally) and you won't know what to do with all those old toys crowding your garage.
