The hardest problem I have EVER faced....advice please

[MB2]

Originally Posted by Pixie Dust

Movingback2PA, thank you for your response. I know everyone is different and we each have different limits. I'm sorry for everything your family has gone through. I however, cannot give up on Daniel. He has a great father but he doesnt know how to be a full time father so if I would have him move in there I would loose him forever and I'm not willing to do that. When I had these boys, I wasnt garaunteed that they would be problem free. I imagine tat it will not always be this way that things will get better. Until than I pray and I try to use EVERYTHING available to get help. As his mother I have a responsibility and that is NOT to give up on him and I wont.

Please do not get me wrong I am not criticizing your actions. I am just saying I cannot just give up on him and live my life. My time will come but when we have children is our lives really our own?? I think not.

I wholeheartedly agree with you....I truly am.
I didn't really "give up" on him, per say. I just took a backseat to the ride, and MADE his father step up to the plate for ONCE!!!!
I still talk to him, show my love to him, guide him.....But, it's much better for him to live with the authority under his father.
I made him live with his father for his OWN good, because otherwise I would have lost him. I love him to much, he's got me wrapped around his little finger, I am to naive when it comes to him....I am just way to soft!!!
My circumstances and life story just played out better that way. To each it's own.
You will need all the strenght and help you can get, trying to help Daniel, and trying to keep the family together as a whole. For the fairness to yourself and your family, SEEK OUTSIDE HELP IMMEDIATELY!!!!
I wish you the best, with all my heart.....It's weird how life trows a curveball sometimes, and how fast we have to adapt to a situation......
It truly is a rollercoaster at times.
Hang in there, because I also truly believe in the theory that it gets worse, before it get's better!!! ~SMILE~

[jrogers435]

Pixie I to am having problems with my daughter who has no emotions towards anyone. She has been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). I recently admitted her into a hospital in missouri and did not like how they treated her. Yes I wanted her to get some help, but they treat the children that are admitted into their facility like criminals. Yes i reallize they are trying to make sure that they are safe too. But making a child that is only 9 years old remove their clothes and stand their while they have people looking at her. She was molested at a very young age. I just don't think they are actually caring about the childs needs and concerns. I am not sure what i should do, because their are other children that have to go through the same thing that she did and are not traumatized by that. What should i do.
Regards to you teenager maybe try asking him what he wants to gain from him acting the way he does. And if he needs to talk to you about something. It may sound like an after school special but sometimes children need the corny cliche kind of talk to feel more comfortable.

[vanllabean81]

Sometimes the best you can do for your kids is to not let them make life-altering mistakes that they'll pay for for the rest of their lives. Take it from me, I'm a kid who really learned every lesson the hard way, and my mom tried everything short of very tough love. I'm sorry for what I put her through now, I feel terrible, and I'm also sorry she didn't lock me away and keep me from making a few of those mistakes....Kids are stupid. That sounds harsh, but it's true. We think we know, but we don't. YOU know, and you are doing the right thing. Good for you. It's harder to do the right thing, but he'll thank you for it one day.