New here. Relocating with teenagers. (parents, girl, activities, accident)

[Floridamom1970]

Hello! My hubby and I have been happily married for eighteen years and have four kids, three of whom still live at home. The oldest is a girl who is joining the army and will be leaving for basic training in June.

My husband is disabled and we are trying to get him approved for SSDI. We desperatley want to move out of Florida. We lived in Austin Texas for three years and loved it so we are looking to either move back there or to Oklahoma where the cost of living is supposed to be lower and the property taxes a lot less. In our home we also have a teenage son who will be sixteen soon, a twelve year old with learning and neurological issues and lastly, a ten year old daughter who is SEVERELY autistic who is home schooled due to the fact that apparently parents in Florida have no rights when it comes to what the public school does with their children.She is doing MUCH better at home.

My husband has severe Degenerative disk disease and has episodes of paralysis and chronic severe pain coupled with adult onset scoliosis. Compressed vertebrae and twisted nerves. He is a fall risk and needs assistance with various things. He is 38 years old and apparently this is the result of an old back injury when he and I were just dating.He was fine for a number of years then BOOM! My autistic daughter requires assistance with her daily living activities and constant supervision. We have been trying to potty train her for several years. She has sleep issues too and is mostly nonverbal.I am the full time caregiver for my daughter and husband durring the week and on the weekends I work as a nursing assistant at a nursing home taking care of more disabled people.To say that we are stressed out is an understatement.

Next door to us are my in laws. My dear sweet mother in law is in declining health and cannot live alone so my husbands brother lives there too. Unfortunatley he is also disabled due to a fall accident and is also in chronic pain. My mother in laws mobile home was destroyed by a hurricane three years ago.

Due to all of the above issues as well as my mother in law being defrauded by one of her other sons out of the land that she owned and was going to give to my husband when she dies, we want to get outta here so badly. There are so many stressors here and I know that our problems will not go away when we move, but they will be fewer and it will be a whole new start for our family that we desperatley need now in our own home.

We also want very much to own our first home. We have been together for so long and for one reason or another, have never been able to own our own home and the prices in our county have gone way up in the last three years and so have the property taxes. We know that we would be able to afford a much bigger and nicer home in Oklahoma or Texas than we could ever hope to own here if we were to stay.

In several months we are expecting to go before a judge about my husbands disability claim.If he does not win we will keep appealing until he does, but if he wins then we will get about three years worth of back pay and we will move then. My teenage son understands our reasons for needing to relocate, but is not happy about it and wants to stay here if possible, which I doubt it will be. He is popular, lots of friends girlfriend ect.

I do not think that the last two kids will have a problem with moving.

[dreameyes]

Boy do you ever have your hands full! God bless you for taking care of your disabled daughter AND working in a nursing home. Two very noble things. Sounds like a move would be absolutely the best thing for you. With all you have on your plate you certainly don't need any more stressors in your life.
Both places you're thinking of moving sound like good choices. We ourselves are looking at relocation to TX in the future. Houses prices are so cheap! I've heard Austin is quite liberal so it may be a good choice for your needs. However I'm certainly no expert so don't put much stock in what I say.
I wish you all the best!!

[dncngrl1964]

Is your son who is objecting a senior or soon to be a senior? Can he be trusted or is he a trouble maker (no need to answer this is for your benefit)
If he is trustworthy and this is his senior year why couldnt he stay with your inlaws next door until he graduates

[Floridamom1970]

No he is not a senior. He is a freshman and turns sweet sixteen on 4/30/07.Back in middle school he had to repeat a grade but has been doing fairly well in school since. I figure he will likely be close to 17 when hubby has his hearing and if he gets approved this time it will take a little bit of time before we will get all of the back pay from SSDI. Since we had (at the time ) four minor children we would be able to collect back pay for them too which will come separate. We will then be able to move.

He will probably be close to finishing his sophomore year year or have already finished by then. His Grandma and Uncle and Aunt next door live in a small two bedroom mobile home and there is barely enough room for three much less four so that is really not an option. They also have a lot of stress to deal with since all of them are disabled so I would not want them to feel they have to take on the responsibility of a teenager as well.