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Old 08-11-2009, 08:48 PM
 
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This isn't something we really consider a "problem", but the thread on sleepy kids made me think about it and I was just curious as to everyone's thoughts on it....

Our 4-year-old (almost 5) starts out sleeping in his bed, but finds his way to our room in the middle of the night at least 3 times/week. He usually comes in after he's been asleep in his bed for 3 or 4 hours and says he "can't sleep". We let him climb in-between and he's out in seconds.... sleeps til he's woken up.

His 7-year-old big brother doesn't do this often...although he is not a fan of stormy weather and wants to sleep with us whenever there is thunder/wind/lightning....sometimes everyone's in there on those nights...good thing it's a king bed!

So, aside from the stormy nights, is sleeping in between good, bad, or indifferent for the almost 5-year-old? Any similar habits out there?
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Old 08-11-2009, 08:52 PM
 
Location: Denver area
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My DD never left her bed....my DS OTOH when he was about 2, would routinely wake up in the middle of the night and climb into our bed. Even though it would have been MUCH easier to allow him to stay, 99% of the time, one of us got up and brought him back to bed. This went on for a couple of months then he got the idea. We all slept better in our own beds.....
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Old 08-11-2009, 08:55 PM
 
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I don't think there are any absolutes when it comes to parenting styles. You feel your way through, figuring out as you go what works for your family.

My daughter in particular would sneak into our room in the middle on the night when she was three to four years old. Because she tossed and turned too much for my husband and I to sleep well, I allowed her to bring in her pillow and a blanket, which she used to make a nest on the floor next to our bed. It went on for quite awhile, but she eventually started staying in her bed all night. OTOH, my son is very independent, along with being a deep sleeper, so he never even tried to crawl into bed with us once he was beyond infancy.
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Old 08-11-2009, 09:01 PM
 
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I think all kids do it. I remember sleep was so much better in my parents' bed! We have the same behavior with our 6 and 10 yo. Its less common than it was a few years ago, but I think kids either outgrow it or parents become tired and become more strict. Either way - you will know what feels comfortable and works for you.
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Old 08-11-2009, 10:46 PM
 
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I co-slept with both my sons. My oldest is 6 and just really started sleeping by himself within the last year, although with our big, extended move, he has started needing to sleep with one of us for the last few hours. My two year old seems to make it to 1 a.m. Then I just go sleep with him because it is far easier!

So for me, I wouldn't worry about it too much. There is a point where they will want their privacy and own beds. Just keep encouraging them to sleep in their beds when you can.
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Old 08-11-2009, 11:11 PM
 
Location: Formerly TX, UT and CT - Currently NC
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We don't co-sleep with our children. Ours only sleep with us if they're not feeling well, or have had a bad dream. Other than that, they sleep in their own rooms, in their own beds. Occasionally though, I'll lay with them (in their rooms, not ours) until they fall asleep.
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Old 08-11-2009, 11:17 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
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My daughter and I are on our own. She has been feeling insecure for some time now and sleeps with me, she is 12. Of course her therapist thinks this is a bad idea but after all the things she has been through I don't have the heart to deny her the security of sleeping in my bed.

I am hoping that after the most recent fiasco has died down, I can get her into her own bed.

I remember being an anxiety ridden child, very affraid at night, affraid someone was going to hurt me etc. and getting NO SLACK from my parents. I carried scars of that into my adulthood. Although I am not affraid to sleep on my own, I actually sleep better when she is in her own bed.
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Old 08-11-2009, 11:24 PM
 
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This can be a topic full of emotion. I do not think there is necessarily a right or a wrong, just a decision each family makes. We almost never had our children in our beds. It was never a matter of turning them away, they knew they had their own crib/bed and they used it. We never had issues with bedtime, nightmare or sleeping habits. Our children never cried themselves to sleep or got up a dozen times. We gave them calming music to listen to, they had a blankie or favorite stuffed animal, we tucked them in bed and let them know they were loved. I think children as well as parents sleep better this way, it allow the adults to have adult time without children having to be moved or the parents move, and we personally think it is healthier. That is just our choice.
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Old 08-12-2009, 12:37 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jbar View Post

So, aside from the stormy nights, is sleeping in between good, bad, or indifferent for the almost 5-year-old? Any similar habits out there?
It's not bad. It depends on your parenting style. A child can be terrified alone or going through a stressful time and it helps them get past this and sleep peacefully instead of in terror. Sometimes letting a child have a pet in the room works just as well.
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Old 08-12-2009, 05:52 AM
 
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Our DD did that around that same age. We tried to get her to go back to her bed, etc. One night we shut our door and found her sleeping in the hallway the next morning. Finally we told her if she needed to come in our room that she was to crawl up from the foot of our bed and not wake us up to ask if it was ok. She did that, we slept, all was good. It lasted for about 6-8 months or so. She is now 14 and sleeps in her own bed just fine.
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