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Old 04-25-2007, 07:50 PM
 
Location: Colorado
10,017 posts, read 16,707,396 times
Reputation: 2091

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Quote:
Originally Posted by mb919 View Post
When I was 18, I had the social skills of a gnat. I hadn't had a girlfriend up to that point either, but it was more because of awkwardness than anything else. Besides- girl on girl porn? I would have to imagine that it would be the very rare gay man who would voluntarily watch that.

But even if he is gay- so what?
I have no problem if he is gay, thats what I tried to tell him and he knows this, since I support them. I was NOT delayed sexually so to speak so I dont really understand , I was just looking for some ideas since he insists he isnt gay. I didnt know if maybe he had another medical problem. Since he shows (other than porn) an outside interest in sex at all.
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Old 04-25-2007, 07:53 PM
 
2,218 posts, read 4,890,178 times
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If he is really that worried about his image of himself that could be why he is looking at naughty images. For the fact that he doesn't have to worry about them judging him, turn him down or anything that might hurt his feelings.
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Old 04-25-2007, 08:02 PM
 
17,185 posts, read 22,223,592 times
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18 is a tough age for a boy, im sure he is a late bloomer, nothing more, and thats better than being a young bloomer and being an unplanned dad.

i remember in high school, many of my friends going out on dates would bs. about what happened,,how they score, etc.
say his friends, are quite "active" with the girls,,,,he may feel a bit left behind,,not being much experienced,,and even if the situation comes before him,,,he's gonna second guess, if his actions would be "right",,,how to kiss,,etc.
id just keep re-inforcing,,how it is "special" to wait for the right girl, and how most guys that age will screw anything they can, and thats why so many girls have unwanted pregnancies.
fortunately, im sure there are many girls in the same situation as he is,,a late bloomer,,and eventually, he will probly hook up with one of those girls.
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Old 04-25-2007, 08:06 PM
 
Location: Tucson, AZ
1,696 posts, read 3,059,338 times
Reputation: 1535
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nea1 View Post
I have no problem if he is gay, thats what I tried to tell him and he knows this, since I support them. I was NOT delayed sexually so to speak so I dont really understand , I was just looking for some ideas since he insists he isnt gay. I didnt know if maybe he had another medical problem. Since he shows (other than porn) an outside interest in sex at all.
I understand your concerns, and please don't think I was being judgmental or making light of them. I just think that sexual relations are such a complex and individual thing, that to worry about it could just do nothing but drive you crazy. I'd be really surprised if this didn't work itself out over time without any hitches or interventions.
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Old 04-25-2007, 08:14 PM
 
17,185 posts, read 22,223,592 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nea1 View Post
I have no problem if he is gay, thats what I tried to tell him and he knows this, since I support them. I was NOT delayed sexually so to speak so I dont really understand , I was just looking for some ideas since he insists he isnt gay. I didnt know if maybe he had another medical problem. Since he shows (other than porn) an outside interest in sex at all.
nea, i wouldnt even bring up the whole gay issue, even saying its "o.k." now he has the pressure,,his whole family thinks hes gay.
as his mother,,tell everyone,,including yourself,,to BACK-OFF , stop with second guessing medical issues, etc....not helping him.
id much rather have a son like yours than a promiscuous son,,,thats already a dad.
and i know as his mother you mean well, but if you had a daughter that age,,would you be second guessing her interest in sex?? or be proud of her,,she has kept herself pure, saving for someone special??

sounds like YOU were forced to grow up quick,, your son doesnt have to,,let him enjoy his teenage years without undue pressure,

just my opinion nea
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Old 04-25-2007, 09:06 PM
 
Location: Colorado
10,017 posts, read 16,707,396 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mainebrokerman View Post
nea, i wouldnt even bring up the whole gay issue, even saying its "o.k." now he has the pressure,,his whole family thinks hes gay.
as his mother,,tell everyone,,including yourself,,to BACK-OFF , stop with second guessing medical issues, etc....not helping him.
id much rather have a son like yours than a promiscuous son,,,thats already a dad.
and i know as his mother you mean well, but if you had a daughter that age,,would you be second guessing her interest in sex?? or be proud of her,,she has kept herself pure, saving for someone special??

sounds like YOU were forced to grow up quick,, your son doesnt have to,,let him enjoy his teenage years without undue pressure,

just my opinion nea


I appreciate your opinion. Again it isnt me,saying things to him. I have actually never asked him if he is gay, my parents did. I have just asked him if he is interested in girls yet? he says yes and thats it. I dont pressure, I actually tell people if this is the worst he will do, it's fine with me!! My 14 year old has made up for his older brother which terrifies me, I cant even count his girlfriends anymore. Being I was a teenage mom, I promote abstinence, but I am also a realist. So I also tell them about safe sex if they choose to have sex. Do not want to be a grandma at 36!!!!!! And yes I grew up very fast. Mom, school and job at 17. But he turned out to be a great kid.
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Old 04-25-2007, 09:21 PM
 
Location: Pikeville, Ky.
13,467 posts, read 21,222,914 times
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He is only 18 years old. If he had a girlfriend you would probably be afraid he would get married while he is so young. I hope he never gets wind of some of his family thinking he is gay. I say love him, trust him, and don't worry so much. My son was 20 before he went on a date. Him being gay never crossed our minds. He was shy. He had a lot of friends who were girls, though. Well anyhow he is married with two children now..
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Old 04-25-2007, 09:27 PM
 
17,185 posts, read 22,223,592 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nea1 View Post
I appreciate your opinion. Again it isnt me,saying things to him. I have actually never asked him if he is gay, my parents did. I have just asked him if he is interested in girls yet? he says yes and thats it. I dont pressure, I actually tell people if this is the worst he will do, it's fine with me!! My 14 year old has made up for his older brother which terrifies me, I cant even count his girlfriends anymore. Being I was a teenage mom, I promote abstinence, but I am also a realist. So I also tell them about safe sex if they choose to have sex. Do not want to be a grandma at 36!!!!!! And yes I grew up very fast. Mom, school and job at 17. But he turned out to be a great kid.
nea, thanx for the reply, tell your parents that its ok to ask YOU, about your sons sex life,,but please dont ask,,, the pointed questions to him, in front of others, and i know its difficult to edit parents.

you sound like a very good mom,,,like the rest of the moms on here
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Old 04-25-2007, 09:42 PM
 
Location: Colorado
10,017 posts, read 16,707,396 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mainebrokerman View Post
nea, thanx for the reply, tell your parents that its ok to ask YOU, about your sons sex life,,but please dont ask,,, the pointed questions to him, in front of others, and i know its difficult to edit parents.

you sound like a very good mom,,,like the rest of the moms on here
Yep hard to censor those grandparents. She did ask him, and he laughed and said, not that I know of!!! I just tell them he is making up for his mom!!!!I was a bit of a Ho!!! Shame fully admitting.

He says I am a good mom. He actually likes it that I am young, say he can relate better.
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Old 04-26-2007, 01:44 AM
 
Location: Not on POW Anymore :)
366 posts, read 254,830 times
Reputation: 140
It could be...that along with being self conscious and young, he's a bit put off by his grandparents wondering if he's gay. I don't quite know how to put it but maybe he does have a girlfriend but isn't bringing her around because he's got a mental image of introducing her to his grandparents and having them express visible and vocal relief by blurting out something like, "Thank Heaven you've finally managed to get a date, we were so afraid you were gay".

Sorry, I don't know your parents so I shouldn't presume to know what they might say. It's just the sort of thing that would happen in my family, though.
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