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Old 04-25-2007, 04:58 PM
 
Location: Colorado
10,017 posts, read 16,707,396 times
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My oldest as far as I know has not had a girlfriend. He like girls, caught him girl on girl porn as well as some others,has alot of girl pictures, but no girlfriend. I know he is self conscience about his weight. He is 6'2 275, but is cute with a great sense of humor. He is in college and working. My mother is wondering if he is gay and keeps harping about it. He swears that isnt the case and he knows we wouldnt care. My dad says he is just a late bloomer ( he does tend to act immature sometimes. Any guys out there late bloomers as well, or know of them.
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Old 04-25-2007, 05:10 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
4,486 posts, read 14,939,055 times
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Is he an out-going person? Does he have a lot of friends? Does he have many girls that are just friends?

Encourage him to go out and meet others. Maybe he just doesn't want a girlfriend at this stage in his life. Between college and work he may not have the time to go out and meet girls. If he lost some weight, he may be less self-conscious about himself and thus be more willing to go out and meet members of the opposite sex.

I doubt he's gay, just a late bloomer like your husband says.
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Old 04-25-2007, 05:19 PM
 
Location: In exile, plotting my coup
2,408 posts, read 13,161,498 times
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Perhaps he's shy or just a late-bloomer. I don't think there's really any cause for concern. It's actually not that uncommon. I knew a number of kids in high school who never went on a single date. A few of them lasted well into college. They were attracted to people of the opposite sex, but either were too shy or timid around them, had low self-esteem, or simply just didn't want a boyfriend or girlfriend. I think with your son it's most likely a self-confidence issue more than anything from the sound of it, and I'm sure hearing barbs about being gay aren't really doing wonders for his self-esteem either.

I wasn't really a late-bloomer but I myself haven't dated in some time and don't care to have a girlfriend at the moment. When I tell people that, they just don't understand. People will try to set me up or will speculate that there must be something wrong for me not to want to be in a relationship at this time with a woman. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone needs to constantly be attached to someone else to be happy. There IS a such thing as happily single. I'm living it.
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Old 04-25-2007, 05:26 PM
 
Location: Colorado
10,017 posts, read 16,707,396 times
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Thanks for the replies. Me I am not too worried, my family keeps expressing concern, which is funny considering I had him at 17 yea lets rush them into that!!!! Me nope not a late bloomer. He has always been on the heavy side, has LOTS of friends including girls, goes out alot. I do think it may have more to do with the act of asking one out and being self conscience. I have tried to help him lose weight, but I can only do so much, he has to want to. but thanks for the rplies again, it is good to hear these things form others.
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Old 04-25-2007, 05:37 PM
 
Location: NE Florida
9,362 posts, read 22,359,929 times
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I remember calling an agency when I was concerned about my brother at that age. I thought he might be gay and wanted to know if I should broach the subject with him. they said that he could just be a late bloomer and to follow his lead. As it turned out, he was very het, just hadn't met the right girl/woman.

I wouldn't worry about it if he doesn't.
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Old 04-25-2007, 05:40 PM
 
Location: In exile, plotting my coup
2,408 posts, read 13,161,498 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nea1 View Post
Thanks for the replies. Me I am not too worried, my family keeps expressing concern, which is funny considering I had him at 17 yea lets rush them into that!!!!
Haha! Yeah, that's a good point. I've never understood why some parents and grandparents want to rush their kids into dating, marriage and children. They should let them be kids, get a good education, play their sports, emotionally mature, and then THEY can decide for themselves when they're ready to bring another person into the mix. If I had kids, I'd probably be thrilled if they weren't dating in high school.
Quote:
I do think it may have more to do with the act of asking one out and being self conscience.
Yes, I was going to mention that. The act of asking out another girl can indeed be brutally intimidating for someone not already loaded with tons of confidence. Rejection can be really hard to take. It's hard for guys too who are too afraid to make that first step because oftentimes it's still expected for them to do so, so if they don't, then usually that means that nothing happens; so it's just a hurdle that all of us have to cross at one point, to rip the Band Aid off all at once so to speak.
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Old 04-25-2007, 06:56 PM
 
2,218 posts, read 4,890,178 times
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I wouldn't worry. He could be side tracked with other things at the moment. College and work. As much as I would love to be able to say I'm taken, I'm not in any rush, because for one I'm still semi young. You know 500 years old. :P

Seriously though, I wouldn't be too worried because, he'll work at his pace. It's better to take the time and then just rush into relationships get dumped or have to dump someone and go through tons and tons of drama. I know sometimes you can't avoid the dumping of people because you eventually find out that this isn't the one.
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Old 04-25-2007, 07:15 PM
 
Location: PALM BEACH, FL.
607 posts, read 3,261,089 times
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He sounds like a real smart guy. Those women will take all of his time and money. Then just leave him standing there a shell of a man, ever bitter and always wondering what happened to his independence.


Just kidding He's probably just planing and mapping out his strategies.
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Old 04-25-2007, 07:23 PM
 
Location: Tejas
7,506 posts, read 15,987,633 times
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When i was 18 i couldnt care less about having a gf. Women where a waste of money for me at that time, the most i wanted was to hookup at a club or something.
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Old 04-25-2007, 07:42 PM
 
Location: Tucson, AZ
1,696 posts, read 3,059,338 times
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When I was 18, I had the social skills of a gnat. I hadn't had a girlfriend up to that point either, but it was more because of awkwardness than anything else. Besides- girl on girl porn? I would have to imagine that it would be the very rare gay man who would voluntarily watch that.

But even if he is gay- so what?
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