5 year old boy don't want to hold girl's hand (babies, fertility, toys)

[hueimo]

this was on a field trip when my son held on to these other 2 good friend's hand, they are all boys, when a 5 year old girl from the same class came along and wanted to hold my son's hand as they were walking on their field trip, my son didn't want to and let go her hand, now I'm getting a bit worried, but didn’t want to make a big deal out of this as he might think girls can get him into trouble. He likes to play sports with boys and doesn’t have any signs of wanting to play with girl dolls kind of stuff. I’m thinking at this age, it’s more of liking to mingle with boys as they love the same type of toys, like spider man..etc..and to hold a girl’s hand is something others might tease at? Does anyone have any experience in this area? Thanks.

[jtur88]

He knows there is a difference between boys and girls, but is still working on figuring out all the complexities of that difference. It's normal to have apprehension about "making a mistake", so the default often resides in just saying no. He will feel uncomfortable if he holds her hand, and he will feel uncomfortable if he doesn't, until he fits certain pieces together. I'm a lot older than he is, and I feel those dichotomies, too.

Don't worry about it. He'll work it out for himself.

[golfgal]

Girls have cooties-don't you remember that from when you were a kid? Don't worry, in another 10 years you will come here posting about all the girls that keep calling your son .

Maybe he didn't like this girl for whatever reason. I learned a LONG time ago to trust my kids' instincts about things like this because they saw kids for what they really were.

[Aylalou]

There is nothing wrong with your son. If you're implying he might be gay, this is no example at all.

[Jude1948]

At five years of age, boys play with boys and girls play with girls. My granddaughter says boys are mean. Boys do like to roughhouse. They usually start taking an interest in each other about 9-10 in my past experience. Your son might have felt embarrassed by a girl coming to hold his hand while he was with his "buddies".

[Jaggy001]

In 10 years time, you will be worrying because he does want to hold a girl's hand And do other things too

[1984vt]

Originally Posted by Aylalou

There is nothing wrong with your son. If you're implying he might be gay, this is no example at all.

In fact, the opposite conclusion may well be drawn. If he doesn't like girls at this age, he will probably love them when the hormones hit.

My son is exactly the same way. He will not acknowledge a girl unless there is absolutely no one else to play with. He is 8 so he has gotten over it a bit but, when younger, it was cootie city.

Also, don't feel guilty about contributing to what some people would view as you raising a little chauvinist. I have realized after watching 5 brothers, 3 sisters and all their children and mine, that this is a naturally occuring phenom and we as parents have very little if any control. One of my sisters tried in vain to keep gender neutral toys and the such to prevent any type of "little boy" or "little girl" influences away from her twins (boy and girl.) They still made their own preferences and the little boy would play with sticks as guns and the girl wrapped her stuffed animals in blankets and had babies. My other sister who has twin girls (natural - twins run in the family - no fertility etc) refused to play with dolls. They just hated them. So, children will take on the traits they are meant to have and sometimes it is what is considered normal (ie playing with trucks and dolls) sometimes not.

[Asheville Native]

Originally Posted by hueimo

this was on a field trip when my son held on to these other 2 good friend's hand, they are all boys, when a 5 year old girl from the same class came along and wanted to hold my son's hand as they were walking on their field trip, my son didn't want to and let go her hand, now I'm getting a bit worried, but didn’t want to make a big deal out of this as he might think girls can get him into trouble. He likes to play sports with boys and doesn’t have any signs of wanting to play with girl dolls kind of stuff. I’m thinking at this age, it’s more of liking to mingle with boys as they love the same type of toys, like spider man..etc..and to hold a girl’s hand is something others might tease at? Does anyone have any experience in this area? Thanks.

Oh good grief. 5 year old boys know that girls have kooties.

Now if you choose to make a big deal out of him, you might mess with his mind.

[MeeptJeep]

Awww, kids are so funny sometimes. Remember that show, "Kids say/do the darndest things"??? Haha! Your son is and will be fine. You'll look back in ten years and wish he wouldn't want to hold a girls hand.

[StilltheSame]

My son barely tolerates his sister, muchless other girls. He wants nothing to do with girls at 6 - I would not expect any less. Its part of growing up - enjoy this time - it goes fast!