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not spanking has to do with the rising of criminals or juveniles committing crimes like those kids that set a 15 year-old on fire on October??
I'm getting tired of hearing many people always placing the blame on parents not spanking their kids and saying stuff such as ''In my old days, I would fear my mother/father if I ever dare to...... blah... blah... blah...
What if the parents of those kids that set the 15 year-old on fire were spankers but they still did that horrible crime anyways? I'm surprise no one comes to that conclusion as well.
Doesn't it mainly has to do with poor parenting skills. A bad non-spanker with horrible teaching skills can suck just as a terrible spanker..... thus the same results would come out... crimes
Why assume that one has to spank to reduce crimes?
Well, alot of people still subscribe to the old "spare the rod, spoil the child" school of thought. And i would at least partially agree that, yeah, sometimes a kid's unruly behavior or disciplinary problems, say, at school, could be attributed at least in part to overly-lax parental guidance and discipline at home. I really don't think that physical punishment, like spanking, helps instill good behavior in a child, however. I think that as long as a parent is there to scold the kid or otherwise enforce discipline and set boundaries and enact punishment--like grounding or no TV--it will make a positive difference in MOST kids' behavior.
I say "most" because there are of course exceptions. Yes, I truly do believe there is such a thing as the "bad seed." A kid who, depsite being reared in a great home with loving parents can turn out to be the meanest, craziest, cruelest turd in the world. The prisons are full of them. Why? Who knows? A headfull of bad wiring, maybe. Brain chemicals; not enough or too much serotonin; his diapers were too tight as an infant; whatever. And I think your example of the kids who set the other on fire are examples of this. Certainly these kids were suffering from emotional or mental problems far too severe to be remedied by a mere spanking once in awhile. They past that bridge a long time ago, I'm afraid.
Yes ''bad seeds'' will always be rotten. If it's a sociopath of a child, he will be that same no matter if you spank or don't. In that few exceptions, there's no solution to that but psychiatric help I guess.
The point is that many people can't just be one sided. It may offend those who don't spank and have ''good productive kids'' that never got in trouble with the law.
Spanking "should" be illegal, it's rendered as such by the UN constitution on childrens rights, which (if I'm not wrong) the US haven't ratified, but nevertheless. Nothing good comes of violence.
TheViking85, I will disagree with you on the statement that spanking is violence. I agree that some kids will be bad no matter if the are spanked or not. I raised my son by not spanking however if I felt that he would have needed one I would not have been opposed to doing it. I believe that spanking (not abuse) is an effect way of discipline for kids. If the child shows no regards for others than a little pain on the backside I think could be effective in showing that there are consequences to ones actions and sometimes it hurts a little. I was spanked and actually remember having to get my own switch when I was younger and in no way would I ever think it is right to use an object to hit a child but the hand is enough to get the point across. What I think we have in alot of parents today whether they are spankers or not is a lack of follow through, parents will threaten to ground, take things away, spank or whatever but then they change their mind and that is teaching kids that most likely all they will get is a lecture and with short attention spans they can handle that.
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Originally Posted by FutureBrennanDad
TheViking85, I will disagree with you on the statement that spanking is violence. I agree that some kids will be bad no matter if the are spanked or not. I raised my son by not spanking however if I felt that he would have needed one I would not have been opposed to doing it. I believe that spanking (not abuse) is an effect way of discipline for kids. If the child shows no regards for others than a little pain on the backside I think could be effective in showing that there are consequences to ones actions and sometimes it hurts a little. I was spanked and actually remember having to get my own switch when I was younger and in no way would I ever think it is right to use an object to hit a child but the hand is enough to get the point across. What I think we have in alot of parents today whether they are spankers or not is a lack of follow through, parents will threaten to ground, take things away, spank or whatever but then they change their mind and that is teaching kids that most likely all they will get is a lecture and with short attention spans they can handle that.
I totally agree. There is big difference between violence and discipline. Every child needs discipline and there isn't a formula of parenting that will work on every child. Some kids will respond very well to lower order punishments (never have met nor will I ever meet a human that did not require punishment for transgressions in youth) but others need a heavier hand. Two siblings under the same roof by the same parents can have wildly different needs and completely different results from the same parenting - why would anyone think that there is a single "right way" or that a practice that has been part of human culture since pre-history is always wrong? (Even if the U.N., in all its wisdom, says it is so)
If your child is telling you he or she needs corporal punishment, not much else will suffice.
Last edited by jimboburnsy; 12-16-2009 at 04:04 PM..
Children need to be disciplined. The means should be up the parents. I am not advocating chaining your offspring to a radiator because they sneaked out and got laid or high. But when a child is being belligerent and speaking to them won't do it, beat that ass. My girls only get spankings on rare occasions. We have tried to do away with it, because we believe it lends to them pushing and hitting each other. Anyone that says it should be illegal is out of their gourd. That's as bad as saying the government should have a say in who can and cannot get married, ridiculous.
In the end there isn't a correct answer. But to have many people saying ''All non-spankers'' are terrible parents and their child will grown up to be criminals is false statement. There was my psychology teacher from high school, stated she never got spanked but there were rules and she couldn't do whatever she wanted. The parents were still strict with her.
Still, hard to know what kind of child one will be having, the calm quiet that never does anything, the hyper one on your case all the time or the annoying, aggressive spoiled brat.
I don't think spanking is effective as a discipline tool. But I don't think parents who spank are horrible parents. I just think there are a lot of better ways.
We have five children. I don't spank. None have ever been in any kind of serious trouble. I've gotten the occasional call from a teacher. But never anything beyond that. Our oldest in in college.
We do discipline our children using natural consequences for inappropriate behavior. But hitting kids to make them behave just doesn't make sense to me.
Spanking has its place, especially with a threat when in public. Usually all it takes is a "do we need to go outside to the car?" And they know what that means. My oldest only turns 3 tomorrow lol.
I was spanked when i screwed up as a child, although to my recollection, not often. I grew up pretty well, I am a pretty successful small business owner, scored a 1410 on my SAT's, oh and I have tattoos. Weird, huh? lol
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