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What do you all think? I'm really uncomfortable with kids under 18 dating anyone over 18, besides the fact it's illegal where I live! But even at 18, I feel like it's wierd that they'd date someone in their 20s.
Should boys have different rules from girls?
There is a HUGE difference between most 17 & 18 year olds, and most people in (even) their early 20s. We make a LOT of changes, and rapidly, in those first years out of high school.
While I know there is no "one size fits all" rule regarding dating, I thinking that teenagers dating older people is generally a really bad idea.
There is a HUGE difference between most 17 & 18 year olds, and most people in (even) their early 20s. We make a LOT of changes, and rapidly, in those first years out of high school.
While I know there is no "one size fits all" rule regarding dating, I thinking that teenagers dating older people is generally a really bad idea.
Parents really need to continue to guide their teenagers and play a part in meeting their friends and dates and take each situation as it unfolds rather than make arbitrary age rules.
Why would it be weird for an 18 year old and 20 year old to date? My son is in HS and there are plenty of 17 year old seniors dating 15 year old sophmores. In fact when he was a freshman he complained that the girls wouldn't talk to the freshman boys because they all wanted to date the older boys.
In 3 years the same kids will be 20 and and 18. I think it would be strange for an 18 year old to want to date a 30 year old, but I don't think it's wrong, just strange.
Would you let your 8th grader date a sophomore or junior in high school? Same age difference, different maturity/experience level.
I agree that the older they get the less the age difference becomes but when kids are still in high school there is a HUGE difference between a sophomore and a senior. It doesn't matter if they are boys or girls, there is a big difference. In high school, one grade level is about all I would be comfortable with. For a senior dating a freshman in college, not that big of a difference but more then that there is. Once kids are in college a freshman dating a senior isn't all that much different.
My daughter is a 17 yr old senior. She is dating a young man who is 19 and graduated last year. He is attending Community College. I see nothing wrong with this. They are one year apart in school, but two years apart in age. Last year, when they started dating, he was a senior and she a junior.
I would have a problem only if she started dating someone out of college while she was still in high school. At this point, I don't think she would have much in common with someone far removed from high school. She is already planning her senior prom! Can't see a 23 yr old wanting to go to prom.
Taking that into account I also say three years. Guys and girls that are close to the same age frequently aren't on the same maturity level when they are teens.
And therein resides the problem. Girls are generally 2-3 years more mature than boys and they simply are not generally attracted to their own age group until the boys catch up (if they ever do) in their twenties and thirties.
And therein resides the problem. Girls are generally 2-3 years more mature than boys and they simply are not generally attracted to their own age group until the boys catch up (if they ever do) in their twenties and thirties.
I think that's a myth. There are some innate differences in girls and boys but it's not that boys are 3 years behind girls.
And therein resides the problem. Girls are generally 2-3 years more mature than boys and they simply are not generally attracted to their own age group until the boys catch up (if they ever do) in their twenties and thirties.
While it's true that girls generally enter puberty about a year earlier than boys, the "maturity" thing varies greatly by person.
I think that's a myth. There are some innate differences in girls and boys but it's not that boys are 3 years behind girls.
As a high school teacher I can say that boys are very much less mature on average than girls. Not all boys are less mature and some girls are very immature, but more times than not boys are very much less mature than girls. That is why parents need to judge their own child's situation and not set blanket rules for their child.
And therein resides the problem. Girls are generally 2-3 years more mature than boys and they simply are not generally attracted to their own age group until the boys catch up (if they ever do) in their twenties and thirties.
Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute
I think that's a myth. There are some innate differences in girls and boys but it's not that boys are 3 years behind girls.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear
As a high school teacher I can say that boys are very much less mature on average than girls. Not all boys are less mature and some girls are very immature, but more times than not boys are very much less mature than girls. That is why parents need to judge their own child's situation and not set blanket rules for their child.
I am curious if you have your own high school aged kids? As a former high school teacher and a parent of 3 high school aged kids I don't see what you see. Boys and girls have DIFFERENT areas in which they are mature/immature but overall they are all very close in maturity when it comes to dating/relationships. I think overall girls are more RESPONSIBLE then boys but that doesn't make them more or less mature. Girls tend to physically mature before girls but cognitively and emotionally boys and girls in high school are very much on the same level, I would even give the edge to boys being more emotionally mature in high school then girls.
I am curious if you have your own high school aged kids? As a former high school teacher and a parent of 3 high school aged kids I don't see what you see. Boys and girls have DIFFERENT areas in which they are mature/immature but overall they are all very close in maturity when it comes to dating/relationships. I think overall girls are more RESPONSIBLE then boys but that doesn't make them more or less mature. Girls tend to physically mature before girls but cognitively and emotionally boys and girls in high school are very much on the same level, I would even give the edge to boys being more emotionally mature in high school then girls.
I have three boys. One in HS (10th grade), one in MS (8th grade) and one in ES (5th grade). I am currently at a HS, but have been in MS also.
Actually I agree with your statements about the different types of maturity that is seen between boys and girls. I do think that girls overall are more mature than boys but boys do have their areas of strength.
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