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Old 09-06-2009, 10:48 AM
 
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What do you all think? I'm really uncomfortable with kids under 18 dating anyone over 18, besides the fact it's illegal where I live! But even at 18, I feel like it's wierd that they'd date someone in their 20s.

Should boys have different rules from girls?
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Old 09-06-2009, 11:07 AM
 
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I would say same rules, and it shouldn't be more than a year difference in age.
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Old 09-06-2009, 11:23 AM
 
Location: Denver area
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Well, it depends....if they are both seniors in HS and one is 17 and one is 18, I would think that is pretty normal....During HS, I would say I would be uncomfortable and questioning much over a year or so difference....If they are away at college and over 18, then they are adults and you don't have a whole lot to say about it (unless you are so concerned you are willing to pull funding etc - but IMO that situation would be most likely based on a heck of a lot more than a date with a 20 y.o). Once in college, they will be meeting people who are older/younger but still are in their "peer group" - much more so than in HS where everything is more more "stratified" when it comes to social groups....

Oh, and I would have no different rules for boys than for girls.....and I am saying this from the perspective of a parent of one of each....
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Old 09-06-2009, 02:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mimimomx3 View Post
What do you all think? I'm really uncomfortable with kids under 18 dating anyone over 18, besides the fact it's illegal where I live! But even at 18, I feel like it's wierd that they'd date someone in their 20s.

Should boys have different rules from girls?
From a parenting standpoint, the only thing that I would worry about is the laws regarding statutory rape in the particular state. Some states make it a crime for someone 18 years old to be with a 17 year old, even if the 17 year old is only a few days younger. Other states have more flexible laws.

Other than the legal issue (which is only a problem in some states) what is magic about age 18? If a 17 year old senior has a 16 year old girlfriend, what magically happens on the day he turns 18 that makes the relationship inappropriate on that day?

I don't see anything weird about a 2 year age difference whether the people are 32/30 or 20/18.

No the rules should not be different for boys.
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Old 09-06-2009, 03:42 PM
 
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I always dated within a 2 year age difference. Part of that was because my brother was a 1 year and a half older than me and I had dates with people he introduced me to.
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Old 09-06-2009, 04:02 PM
 
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3 years seems okay to me (of course assuming it's legal).
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Old 09-06-2009, 07:26 PM
 
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also depends on maturity level of the teen
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Old 09-06-2009, 09:00 PM
 
Location: NE TN~ TriCities
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Originally Posted by suemandy23 View Post
also depends on maturity level of the teen
Taking that into account I also say three years. Guys and girls that are close to the same age frequently aren't on the same maturity level when they are teens.
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Old 09-06-2009, 09:17 PM
 
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I agree about 18 not being a 'magical age'. I can't see an 18 year old dating someone in their 20s or 30s.....
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Old 09-06-2009, 09:39 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mimimomx3 View Post
I agree about 18 not being a 'magical age'. I can't see an 18 year old dating someone in their 20s or 30s.....
Why would it be weird for an 18 year old and 20 year old to date? My son is in HS and there are plenty of 17 year old seniors dating 15 year old sophmores. In fact when he was a freshman he complained that the girls wouldn't talk to the freshman boys because they all wanted to date the older boys.

In 3 years the same kids will be 20 and and 18. I think it would be strange for an 18 year old to want to date a 30 year old, but I don't think it's wrong, just strange.
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