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I just got back from walking my older son to the bus stop and my just turned 4 year old son decided, again, to cause a big scene in front of the other parents. He's done this before. Today it was because he accidentally ran into another kid on his scooter and refused to apologize. So I took the scooter away and started to walk home. I didn't yell or feed into it at all. I just started walking toward home. He sat crying and yelling on the sidewalk for several minutes. When he did finally get up and start walking, he continued to cry and say "give it back" all the way to our house up the driveway and into the garage. At home I just walk away and ignore it, but out in public I feel like a bad mom for leaving my son crying on the sidewalk, even though he was never out of my sight. I would never have actually left him completely. What would you have done? Do you deal with tantrums differently in public than you do when you are at home?
I know what you mean, my son is 7 and still occassionally has public tantrums. I think you did right, and as long as you follow through with the consequence (took the scooter away, he's not getting it back until...say tomorrow), then you are doing right. Not debating with a 4 year old is very smart, it makes me think parents are crazy when I see them having discussions about behavior with young children (if at home, a different story alltogether). You might reinforce what just happened when you are at home by discussing it with him, but don't assume that he will "get it" just because you talk to him about it.
You may not want to hear this, but, I do not tolerate disrespect or outbursts directed towards myself or my wife in either public or in private(she does not either). Someone has to be in charge and guess what, that job falls on you as a parent, whether or not it is what you desire to do. You have a responsibility to raise that child and teach them right from wrong. If you don't teach them, then someone else will ( the Govt., schools, their friends, television, etc.) and quite frankly those are pretty poor choices to have as teachers of my child. Basically, you have to make a choice, you're in charge, or the child is. JMO
I just got back from walking my older son to the bus stop and my just turned 4 year old son decided, again, to cause a big scene in front of the other parents. He's done this before. Today it was because he accidentally ran into another kid on his scooter and refused to apologize. So I took the scooter away and started to walk home. I didn't yell or feed into it at all. I just started walking toward home. He sat crying and yelling on the sidewalk for several minutes. When he did finally get up and start walking, he continued to cry and say "give it back" all the way to our house up the driveway and into the garage. At home I just walk away and ignore it, but out in public I feel like a bad mom for leaving my son crying on the sidewalk, even though he was never out of my sight. I would never have actually left him completely. What would you have done? Do you deal with tantrums differently in public than you do when you are at home?
Kids do have a way of making you feel that way sometimes.....
I personally think you handled it just right. Once he calmed down I would have made him tell you why you took the scooter away.
Once the meltdown has begun, there's really not much you can do about it other than what you did.
I know you felt embarrassed but I'm sure the other parents were silently applauding you.
You may not want to hear this, but, I do not tolerate disrespect or outbursts directed towards myself or my wife in either public or in private(she does not either). Someone has to be in charge and guess what, that job falls on you as a parent, whether or not it is what you desire to do. You have a responsibility to raise that child and teach them right from wrong. If you don't teach them, then someone else will ( the Govt., schools, their friends, television, etc.) and quite frankly those are pretty poor choices to have as teachers of my child. Basically, you have to make a choice, you're in charge, or the child is. JMO
I don't tolerate it. that's why I walked away. Would you have done something differently?
You may not want to hear this, but, I do not tolerate disrespect or outbursts directed towards myself or my wife in either public or in private(she does not either). Someone has to be in charge and guess what, that job falls on you as a parent, whether or not it is what you desire to do. You have a responsibility to raise that child and teach them right from wrong. If you don't teach them, then someone else will ( the Govt., schools, their friends, television, etc.) and quite frankly those are pretty poor choices to have as teachers of my child. Basically, you have to make a choice, you're in charge, or the child is. JMO
when you say you "do not tolerate"...what does that mean, exactly? you have given no concrete example of what you have done and/or would do in this situation?
You may not want to hear this, but, I do not tolerate disrespect or outbursts directed towards myself or my wife in either public or in private(she does not either). Someone has to be in charge and guess what, that job falls on you as a parent, whether or not it is what you desire to do. You have a responsibility to raise that child and teach them right from wrong. If you don't teach them, then someone else will ( the Govt., schools, their friends, television, etc.) and quite frankly those are pretty poor choices to have as teachers of my child. Basically, you have to make a choice, you're in charge, or the child is. JMO
Sorry, but I don't see how the OP tolerated anything. She didn't sink to the child's level by yelling right back. She took the adult route.
You did the right thing. At 4 you are teaching him that acting up will not get him what he wants. He is not 7 or 8 where you can have a conversation and have him 'get it'. I would have (and do) the same thing. Nobody is judging...we have all been there done that.
It is really a simple concept to try and teach. If you do this action you get this consequence.
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