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Old 05-22-2012, 05:02 PM
 
Location: Unknown. Where am I? Am I lost?
5,515 posts, read 3,315,839 times
Reputation: 2449

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Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
Pre-MEDICATED!?
LOL, thats what I get for doing two things at once.
Pre-MEDITATED.
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Old 05-22-2012, 05:04 PM
 
Location: Unknown. Where am I? Am I lost?
5,515 posts, read 3,315,839 times
Reputation: 2449
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Txt, you still don't get it. She is not making an "adult" decision. She is making the decision of a brat.

Come back one day when you have an 18 yr old, and let me know if you would still be supportive. This is a child who has been loved and cared for for 18 years, who is turning her back on her family, before she even graduates. Sorry, nothing I've read makes it sound as though she was making a rational, adult decision.

BTW: pot is still illegal.
Yes, her reasoning is a bit selfish.
But she did what every parent tells their adult children living at home who are unhappy doing so.
She found the door herself and she left.

Would you rather she stay and break the rules while living at home like so many do?

I just find it funny, "my house, my rules, you don't like it leave" turns into "NO WAIT, I don't like your decisions come back so I can put rules on you to make you not do those things"
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Old 05-22-2012, 05:05 PM
 
85 posts, read 114,134 times
Reputation: 60
Yes I know my daughter, but this person she is pretending to be (not her authentic self) is not someone I recognize. She is acting like a camilion. As far as holding out info that is not true. I just found this stuff over the weekend while packing up the rest of her stuff. She will be graduating as well as doing her recital after I spoke to her director to please let her dance. I want no part of the manipulation. This is why I have allowed her to come back and get things she needs.
I guess I should give you all a little insight to our life. See, I was 18 when I had her and that makes us 18 years apart. I could practically be her sister and growing up I have always said we grew up together. I have worked very hard to make her understand that these sort of decisions she is making are not going to be good ones. Why? Well, because when I was 17 I did just what she did. I left home. The reason why was not because I wanted to be with her biological dad as much as I wanted to get away from my physically abusive mother. I was so torn up about my decision to leave, but the damage was done. I didn't graduate, got pregnant and ended up wasting 10 years of my life on this guy.
The difference is that my daughter was not in an abusive situation. In fact it was quite the opposite. She was the center of our world. It was all about her and whatever she wanted we tried to make sure she had it. We did this because we wanted to give her more than what we had. Nothing has ever been good enough. "You can't have a brand new car from the dealership, but you can have your step dad's Sport SUV that is around 6 years old. You just need to get your license." Nope not good enough. We have even said that all she has to do is go to college and she can party there. People do it all the time, just be independent and not depend on some guy. Well, that is not good enough either. She never even wanted to stay in this town until this guy showed up. The only reason why we are here is b/c of her. So, we are leaving. No need to turn her room into anything. Bottom line is I have been preaching for years to please not do what I did. I guess the only difference is she is graduating and due to me practically begging her director she is finishing her recital. After that I am out. Luckily she added me back on facebook, but it hurts to see her post facebook status that read "At home alone" and then a sad face. Just a week before that this was her home. My how quickly things change. I guess my biggest regret is spoiling her and not spanking her long before she starting being so ungrateful. Spare the rod spoil the child. Sigh.... I won't make that mistake with the others that is for sure. I just hate it though after what I dealt with as a kid.
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Old 05-22-2012, 05:05 PM
 
22,204 posts, read 13,002,469 times
Reputation: 23808
Quote:
Originally Posted by txtqueen View Post
Would you like a room at your parents house where you have strict rules or would you rather have a room with your boyfriend where you can do as you please?
I don't have to "think about it" because I lived it. I lived in my parents' home when I was 18 and finding a stricter father (former combat paratrooper who wasn't about to have a daughter who smoked pot and did her boyfriend hanging out in his back bedroom) would not be an easy task. I was thankful. I was in college and it helped me immensely. I followed their rules. It was their house.

The day after I moved out (after graduation) my mother turned it into a sewing room.

It's all priorities. My priority was to get a college education. I knew what I wanted in life and took the appropriate classes to achieve my goals. I also dated and worked. Hung out with my mates. I could do what I pleased the day after I moved out. And I did.
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Old 05-22-2012, 05:08 PM
 
7,693 posts, read 9,563,977 times
Reputation: 7095
And this thread is two years old.....
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Old 05-22-2012, 05:13 PM
 
Location: Unknown. Where am I? Am I lost?
5,515 posts, read 3,315,839 times
Reputation: 2449
Quote:
Originally Posted by sc0628 View Post
Yes I know my daughter, but this person she is pretending to be (not her authentic self) is not someone I recognize. She is acting like a camilion. As far as holding out info that is not true. I just found this stuff over the weekend while packing up the rest of her stuff. She will be graduating as well as doing her recital after I spoke to her director to please let her dance. I want no part of the manipulation. This is why I have allowed her to come back and get things she needs.
I guess I should give you all a little insight to our life. See, I was 18 when I had her and that makes us 18 years apart. I could practically be her sister and growing up I have always said we grew up together. I have worked very hard to make her understand that these sort of decisions she is making are not going to be good ones. Why? Well, because when I was 17 I did just what she did. I left home. The reason why was not because I wanted to be with her biological dad as much as I wanted to get away from my physically abusive mother. I was so torn up about my decision to leave, but the damage was done. I didn't graduate, got pregnant and ended up wasting 10 years of my life on this guy.
The difference is that my daughter was not in an abusive situation. In fact it was quite the opposite. She was the center of our world. It was all about her and whatever she wanted we tried to make sure she had it. We did this because we wanted to give her more than what we had. Nothing has ever been good enough. "You can't have a brand new car from the dealership, but you can have your step dad's Sport SUV that is around 6 years old. You just need to get your license." Nope not good enough. We have even said that all she has to do is go to college and she can party there. People do it all the time, just be independent and not depend on some guy. Well, that is not good enough either. She never even wanted to stay in this town until this guy showed up. The only reason why we are here is b/c of her. So, we are leaving. No need to turn her room into anything. Bottom line is I have been preaching for years to please not do what I did. I guess the only difference is she is graduating and due to me practically begging her director she is finishing her recital. After that I am out. Luckily she added me back on facebook, but it hurts to see her post facebook status that read "At home alone" and then a sad face. Just a week before that this was her home. My how quickly things change. I guess my biggest regret is spoiling her and not spanking her long before she starting being so ungrateful. Spare the rod spoil the child. Sigh.... I won't make that mistake with the others that is for sure. I just hate it though after what I dealt with as a kid.
Oh god, i'm going to hop out on this really unsturdy limb here and wait for the hunters after I say this but you said you gave her everything growing up and spolied her, you even gave an example of how things weren't good enough for her from a younger age.....why is this surprising you so much now? Did you think she was going to stop there? You didn't anticipate her hitting 18 and wanting more freedom and when she didn't get it it not being good enough?

Also, don't spoil the child in the first place and you don't have to spank them for being a brat. Just don't spoil in the first place.

That's good news she is going to graduate and do her recital.
Just know she doesn't have to live at home to go to college and she doesn't even have to go right away.
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Old 05-22-2012, 05:16 PM
 
Location: Unknown. Where am I? Am I lost?
5,515 posts, read 3,315,839 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by veuvegirl View Post
And this thread is two years old.....
And about some odd pages ago someone new posted a newer story that happened just weeks ago............
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Old 05-22-2012, 05:20 PM
 
Location: Unknown. Where am I? Am I lost?
5,515 posts, read 3,315,839 times
Reputation: 2449
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
I don't have to "think about it" because I lived it. I lived in my parents' home when I was 18 and finding a stricter father (former combat paratrooper who wasn't about to have a daughter who smoked pot and did her boyfriend hanging out in his back bedroom) would not be an easy task. I was thankful. I was in college and it helped me immensely. I followed their rules. It was their house.

The day after I moved out (after graduation) my mother turned it into a sewing room.

It's all priorities. My priority was to get a college education. I knew what I wanted in life and took the appropriate classes to achieve my goals. I also dated and worked. Hung out with my mates. I could do what I pleased the day after I moved out. And I did.
Some people are willing to make the sacrifice for 4 more years of college and some aren't, some are tired of the rules and leave when they turn 18. Neither are bad people for their decisions.
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Old 05-22-2012, 05:27 PM
 
85 posts, read 114,134 times
Reputation: 60
I figured she would want her freedom, but I thought she would choose college to have it. She was set to go to a major University 4 to 5 hours away. It is considered a party school too, but we were not too worried as long as she was able to balance her school with her recreational activities. Guess that was not good enough either. It means she has to be a grown up and take responsibility. As far as pot goes it is still illegal and if she gets caught with it she is 18 and she will be in serious trouble. There is a big difference with smoking recreational (every now and then) and becoming a pot head. I think I would know, been there done that. I have been upfront and honest about everything with my daughter and I have let her know what to avoid and what she should strive for. I guess it has fallen on deaf ears. That happens when you become involved with someone else. It seems that what the other person says is more important then a parent that has already been through it all. It is frustrating to say the least. Oh and yes I did resurrect this thread.
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Old 05-22-2012, 05:35 PM
 
Location: Unknown. Where am I? Am I lost?
5,515 posts, read 3,315,839 times
Reputation: 2449
Quote:
Originally Posted by sc0628 View Post
I figured she would want her freedom, but I thought she would choose college to have it. She was set to go to a major University 4 to 5 hours away. It is considered a party school too, but we were not too worried as long as she was able to balance her school with her recreational activities. Guess that was not good enough either. It means she has to be a grown up and take responsibility. As far as pot goes it is still illegal and if she gets caught with it she is 18 and she will be in serious trouble. There is a big difference with smoking recreational (every now and then) and becoming a pot head. I think I would know, been there done that. I have been upfront and honest about everything with my daughter and I have let her know what to avoid and what she should strive for. I guess it has fallen on deaf ears. That happens when you become involved with someone else. It seems that what the other person says is more important then a parent that has already been through it all. It is frustrating to say the least. Oh and yes I did resurrect this thread.
Well she is SAFE, she has a place to sleep, eat, shower. Regardless of everything, she still is in a sense provided for, he obviously pays her stuff for her. She IS going to graduate. Look at the positives. Hopefully she'll still go to college or something.
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