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It's sad that people are considering manipulating her with her dance instructor threatening to not let her participate in things unless she moves back home.
This is what happens when you say "if you dont like it leave" some really do leave.
Shes 18, its NORMAL for her to have sex, to party, to get high and even to want to do this stuff.
I read her boyfriend is in college, is providing her a cell phone and who cares that they get high or he sells pot, its 2012 pot is not that big of a deal. Really it isnt, it has medical value.
As long as she graduates i wouldnt be too concerned.
Shes 18, it doesnt matter how mature or not you think she is, by law shes an adult, she should stop being manipulated into coming back to follow rules she doesnt like.
she made the adult decision to leave and not stay and break the rules.
This thread makes me sad and nervous for when my children get older. Parenting is not easy.
Have you got that right!! When my oldest starting making really bad choices, I was TERRIFIED, beyond belief!! All I could do was wonder and doubt, that I would survive the other three. I almost considered running away from home! It's a good thing I never followed through on that, because the other three kids were completely different. They learned from his mistakes. They watched him make terrible choice after terrible choice and he was a living example of why they were never going to do the things that he did.
That reminds me of a saying I saw once..."If you can't be a good example, serve as a terrible warning." All you can do is your best...and HOPE!
Question is, will that cause her to IMMEDIATELY want to come back!? LOL
MOM: "Sure honey, you can come over and get some more of your stuff. It's in the garage in boxes, so it should be simple to find! I can't WAIT for you to get here! Wait til you see your old room!!!! I finally got that exercise/hobby/mom cave I've been wanting for SO long!!! You're gonna love it!! You know maybe this moving out thing wasn't such a bad idea after all! "
DAUGHTER: ...."huh!?"
This is SO true. The minute the parent shows that they actually have a life the 18-year old (who probably thinks she invented rebellion) is stunned to hear life goes on without her.
This is SO true. The minute the parent shows that they actually have a life the 18-year old (who probably thinks she invented rebellion) is stunned to hear life goes on without her.
LOL Exactly! The very idea that life WILL go on, once the child leaves the nest, can be a horrible ordeal! In the back of their minds, that bedroom should ALWAYS be theirs! I mean, what if they need a place to stay? What if things don't work out for them? They no longer have THEIR room?
Repurposing that bedroom just might be the closure that the family needs, AND a wakeup call for dear daughter. Many kids want their parents to "allow" them to live their own lives, withOUT them (their parents), but they have a hard time allowing their parents to live their lives without THEM (the children).
LOL Exactly! The very idea that life WILL go on, once the child leaves the nest, can be a horrible ordeal! In the back of their minds, that bedroom should ALWAYS be theirs! I mean, what if they need a place to stay? What if things don't work out for them? They no longer have THEIR room?
Repurposing that bedroom just might be the closure that the family needs, AND a wakeup call for dear daughter. Many kids want their parents to "allow" them to live their own lives, withOUT them (their parents), but they have a hard time allowing their parents to live their lives without THEM (the children).
LOL If it makes you feel better to tell yourself this....
Probably that the daughter won't be phased by her mom changing her room into something else.
If her leaving the house was pretty much pre-medicated and was just looking for an out via a disagreement in the rules then I really don't think the OP changing her daughters room into something else is really going to phase the daughter.
Would you like a room at your parents house where you have strict rules or would you rather have a room with your boyfriend where you can do as you please? Think like an 18 year old, many people at 18 wouldn't give a damn about their parents changed their room into if they left on the same terms.
It's sad that people are considering manipulating her with her dance instructor threatening to not let her participate in things unless she moves back home.
This is what happens when you say "if you dont like it leave" some really do leave.
Shes 18, its NORMAL for her to have sex, to party, to get high and even to want to do this stuff.
I read her boyfriend is in college, is providing her a cell phone and who cares that they get high or he sells pot, its 2012 pot is not that big of a deal. Really it isnt, it has medical value.
As long as she graduates i wouldnt be too concerned.
Shes 18, it doesnt matter how mature or not you think she is, by law shes an adult, she should stop being manipulated into coming back to follow rules she doesnt like.
she made the adult decision to leave and not stay and break the rules.
Txt, you still don't get it. She is not making an "adult" decision. She is making the decision of a brat.
Come back one day when you have an 18 yr old, and let me know if you would still be supportive. This is a child who has been loved and cared for for 18 years, who is turning her back on her family, before she even graduates. Sorry, nothing I've read makes it sound as though she was making a rational, adult decision.
Probably that the daughter won't be phased by her mom changing her room into something else. If her leaving the house was pretty much pre-medicated and was just looking for an out via a disagreement in the rules then I really don't think the OP changing her daughters room into something else is really going to phase the daughter.
Would you like a room at your parents house where you have strict rules or would you rather have a room with your boyfriend where you can do as you please? Think like an 18 year old, many people at 18 wouldn't give a damn about their parents changed their room into if they left on the same terms.
Pre-MEDICATED!?
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Have you got that right!! 
When my oldest starting making really bad choices, I was TERRIFIED, beyond belief!! All I could do was wonder and doubt, that I would survive the other three. I almost considered running away from home! 
It's a good thing I never followed through on that, because the other three kids were completely different. They learned from his mistakes. They watched him make terrible choice after terrible choice and he was a living example of why they were never going to do the things that he did. 
(As if we need an explanation....
