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Old 09-16-2009, 01:00 PM
 
124 posts, read 231,272 times
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I just got a text from my daughter's father. He informed me he wants to have his daughter six months out of the year. However, in her nine years of life, he has only seen her five times. The longest visit lasting 2 hours. He did not even ask for visitation. He lives 30mins away. Also, one more small thing. He has only asked for her since they suspended his license because he owes over $30,000 in back child support. The scary part is he may find some crazy judge to grant him what he wants! Before the bleeding hearts start to feel sorry for him during this recession, he makes six figures. He is single. He pays less than 10% of his income. He has no other children. And in nine years, I've never had it increased.

How could you even think to try and put a child through that just because you don't want to pay child support? She would be devastated if she had to leave her family. He's also her family, but she doesn't know him. He left when I was carrying her. Well, thanks for letting me vent. If you have any thoughts or similar issues, please share.
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Old 09-16-2009, 02:58 PM
 
809 posts, read 3,117,337 times
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Gosh, that stinks. Well, at least you got an order to pay the back support. Can't they garnish his wages?

Do you think he wants her 6 months out of the year so he won't have to pay child support? Don't they usually not grant child support when the parents have the child an equal amount of time?

If it goes to court, he might win some visitaion, but I really doubt he'll win 6 months since he has made little effort to see her and your daughter doesn't want it. And he hasn't paid support even though it sounds like he has the means.

Good luck to you. I'm sorry you have to go through this.
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Old 09-16-2009, 03:55 PM
 
124 posts, read 231,272 times
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That's exactly why he wants her. He doesn't want to pay. But what he owes already won't go away.

Also, he's a private contractor. So he owns his own business. That's why it has been so hard to collect. So there was an order to suspend his license. Now I get to hear from him everyday via text messages. He even text my daughter on her phone. That's how she found out about the six month thing. She's afraid now and crying because she doesn't won't to go.
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Old 09-16-2009, 04:13 PM
 
2,466 posts, read 4,201,759 times
Reputation: 1300
Quote:
Originally Posted by tnuro View Post
That's exactly why he wants her. He doesn't want to pay. But what he owes already won't go away.

Also, he's a private contractor. So he owns his own business. That's why it has been so hard to collect. So there was an order to suspend his license. Now I get to hear from him everyday via text messages. He even text my daughter on her phone. That's how she found out about the six month thing. She's afraid now and crying because she doesn't won't to go.
I take it that he doesn't get a tax refund either. Child support will garnish income tax checks if one is being sent to the ower of child support. They will also take any stimulus checks as well.

I'm sorry that, this mess has come up for you and your daughter. I really do not think that a judge will grant him 6 months after all of this time with little to no contact with your daughter and the fact that he is in arrears as much as he is.

They may grant him a little more visitation than he currently has, but I would imagine it wouldn't be a whole lot more.

I would start rounding up the meanest, nastiest, most volitile attorney you can find and start talking to them. I would also suggest that you take your daughter to a certified councelor so that they can document how your daughter feels about going to a stranger and what her wishes are. I don't know how the laws are in your state regarding at what age a judge will listen to what the children have to say and take their words into consideration before they make a judgement, that is why I suggest a councelor as they may have a better chance of expressing your daughter's concerns, fears and wishes.

I wish you all the best and again sorry that you and your daughter have to go through any of this. It's things like this when I think judges should hand out hunting licenses instead of divore decrees.
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Old 09-16-2009, 04:28 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
20,426 posts, read 35,707,564 times
Reputation: 38829
??
A 9 year old has her own cell phone??
And the man who has only seen her 5 times in 9 years has her number??
And what does owning your own business have to do with not paying??

Sounds like there's more to the story....
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Old 09-16-2009, 05:12 PM
 
Location: NE Oklahoma
1,036 posts, read 2,578,365 times
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Owning your own business means there is no "Human Resources Dept." or "Payroll Dept." to send the court order to in order to garnish his wages. HE controls it all. HE controls how much he reports to the IRS as his earnings and if he gets a Tax Return (usually not) then it will be garnished...but mostly self employed people don't get one. My uncle did the same exact thing.

I understand your disgust and pain. Take that child to a counselor and make sure she tells them how she feels about going to visit for a weekend much less 6 months at a time.
My ex-husband has convinced our 16 year old to come live with him... thinking "I have one child, she has the other child... no child support will be owed to anyone." But what the judge said was since she hasn't lived in a home with that many kids (they have 5 that are Hers and Theirs 16, 12, 4, 1, and a newborn) and will be with his GF most of the time, not him then she is very likely to want to come home soon. I asked that we share equal custody and she isn't counted in the child support so we didn't have to revisit this again when she comes home. The other child we have together receives $300 a month child support from her father. So in effect he/his GF still have a 16 year old to put up with and I still get $300 a month. That really lit his Post Toasties. I was quite pleased with the whole thing.
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Old 09-16-2009, 05:45 PM
 
124 posts, read 231,272 times
Reputation: 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick View Post
??
A 9 year old has her own cell phone??
And the man who has only seen her 5 times in 9 years has her number??
And what does owning your own business have to do with not paying??

Sounds like there's more to the story....
I don't know what it has to do with anything, but yes she has a cell phone. She goes to her ballet classes with friends sometimes and she goes to sleep overs. I want her to be able to reach me if she needs me. It's only for afterschool or weekends.

They talk once or twice a year. He'll call on her birthday sometimes. I tried to take away any excuse he would have. "I couldn't get in touch with her" was his last excuse for standing her up. So I gave him her number. They can't take the support out of his wages if he's the boss. And He usually end up paying taxes, not getting any back.

Last edited by tnuro; 09-16-2009 at 06:01 PM..
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Old 09-16-2009, 05:47 PM
 
124 posts, read 231,272 times
Reputation: 88
Quote:
Originally Posted by okpondlady View Post
Owning your own business means there is no "Human Resources Dept." or "Payroll Dept." to send the court order to in order to garnish his wages. HE controls it all. HE controls how much he reports to the IRS as his earnings and if he gets a Tax Return (usually not) then it will be garnished...but mostly self employed people don't get one. My uncle did the same exact thing.

I understand your disgust and pain. Take that child to a counselor and make sure she tells them how she feels about going to visit for a weekend much less 6 months at a time.
My ex-husband has convinced our 16 year old to come live with him... thinking "I have one child, she has the other child... no child support will be owed to anyone." But what the judge said was since she hasn't lived in a home with that many kids (they have 5 that are Hers and Theirs 16, 12, 4, 1, and a newborn) and will be with his GF most of the time, not him then she is very likely to want to come home soon. I asked that we share equal custody and she isn't counted in the child support so we didn't have to revisit this again when she comes home. The other child we have together receives $300 a month child support from her father. So in effect he/his GF still have a 16 year old to put up with and I still get $300 a month. That really lit his Post Toasties. I was quite pleased with the whole thing.

Good for you!
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Old 09-16-2009, 06:09 PM
 
Location: Minnesota
1,481 posts, read 3,170,440 times
Reputation: 2377
my dead beat ex-SiL is like that .. the toad will not work but boy oh boy he has a new mommie waiting in the wings to go on welfare with the kids rather than pay my daughter the support owed her .. $70,000 in arrears this year so he lost his lience ( state took it FINALLY!!) and NOW he wants the kids .. ( he was/is a trucker ).. my daughter makes $9.00 hour and he says he can provide a better life .. my a$$ he can .. he just doesnt wwant to pay his child support as it was ordered .. he hasnt seen them in 5 yrs made no effort at all ..untill the child support caught up with him and he now wants the kids .. no no no no no
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Old 09-16-2009, 06:12 PM
 
16,487 posts, read 20,332,656 times
Reputation: 16136
He is hoping you will just give the child to him for 6 mos. and he won't have to pay child support. Tell him if he wants her he will have to hired an attorney and get it. It is unlikely after the circumstances you just stated that any court will give him the child like that. At the most I would think they would set up a visitation schedule, like every weekend or every other weekend etc. I certainly would never feel sorry for any parent that treated their child this way and then suddenly wanted the child for selfish reasons.
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