Tonight I'm stumped!

[malamute]

I think calling 911 is a better idea. Not the first 20 minutes -- but by then you'd think someone would have decided to look for the kid, they would not still be sitting around arguing in the apartment. The kid was endangered and since the parents weren't even out of the apartment looking for the child, it indicates a social worker is needed to teach them some kind of parenting skills.

One case I know of, the mother cashed in some food stamps and headed for a day at the mall, she left her husband to babysit so he put the child in the backseat of a car for a nap while he went into a bar for his favorite beverage. That ended up taking longer than he originally planned and meanwhile the 3 year old woke up and left the car. Someone found the baby walking down the middle of this street - nothing much but bars and liquor stores so they took the baby to the police station.

After a couple hours the father left the bar and discovered the baby was gone so he looked around for a while, then called his wife on her cell phone so she left the mall and came to look. A couple more hours, they called in other relatives to look but when it got dark out and still no luck they realized that with a river close by and stray dogs and coyotes in the area that maybe they should call the police. Of course the police by then were wondering why it took so many hours for the parents to notice their kid was gone and call them.

They didn't lose the child but were mad that a social worker began making regular visits to their home to check up on their kids.

[malamute]

Originally Posted by djacques

Our then-4 y.o. snuck out on us early one morning (he had never before been able to open both the storm door and the screen door) and some idiot called CPS. The CPS person who showed up two days later was as nice a guy as you could meet, didn't say we were lousy parents, took a look at the extendable curtain rod we'd since installed on the door, but just wanted to make sure we weren't the type of parents who thought a 4 y.o. wandering around at 6:30 in the morning was normal behavior. I don't fault CPS at all for any of that, but whoever called can burn in hell.

Would you have preferred to find your child found floating in some swimming pool or pond?

I think it's great if someone sees a child in danger to call the police or CPS or anything. One little 3 year old in this town snuck out one morning when everyone was getting ready for school and work, eating breakfast, and was found later that day drowned in a swimming pool down the street.

Sure it can be inconvenient to have to answer to the police or CPS why a child is out wandering around, in harms' way but that's a whole lot better than some alternatives.

[Antlered Chamataka]

Originally Posted by akck

I think you did the right thing. It sounds like the mom is not neglectful, just one of those situations where a hyperactive kid gets away without anyone noticing for a while. I'm guessing most parents have lost track of their kids at some point, maybe not as dangerous a situation as this was. She's taken steps to resolve future escapes, so calling the police would have put an innocent family through an unnecessary hardship.

Yeah, it seems to me so, as well. I got lost myself when I was 12 and my parents found me later in the temple with the elders

[JBMallory]

Originally Posted by Lol_Stacey

I think if social services would have come and gotten the child the parents might actually learn their lesson, or at the very least not be able to neglect a child like this. I am sorry for those that think a 2 yr old can just slip out....maybe if he were a big boy of 8 or 9 I might agree, but a "child" this age is still a baby and if they are just slipping out, somebody (or everybody) is not watching.

You can't let this guilt you in anyway, you did what you thought was the right thing. Hopefully these parents will get a clue.

I agree with calling CPS or 9-1-1 but I also don't believe you are a parent. My 2 year old can unlock the deadbolt and be out the front door in the time it takes me to take a leak.. however, she did it once and after being reprimanded, hasn't done it again. It is easy for a kid to sneak out. Hell my 2 year old disappeared and my wife called me frantic she was crying and yelling and couldn't find her... she had curled up on the couch and covered herself completely with her blanket... my wife and i both almost had a heart attack lol

[no kudzu]

I think if someone found my unattended child I would be eternally grateful for their willingness to "get involved". That call just might have saved his life. Also I would certainly call authorities if I found an unattended child. For my own protection as well as for the protection of the child. Imagine what you would feel if you were frantically looking for your kid only to discover himn with a strange man or woman for that matter. People are so quick to jump to conclusions about strangers and missing children. That phone call to 911 not only would protect the safety of the kid but possibly keep you from being a suspect in a kidnapping case.

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by malamute

I think calling 911 is a better idea. Not the first 20 minutes -- but by then you'd think someone would have decided to look for the kid, they would not still be sitting around arguing in the apartment. The kid was endangered and since the parents weren't even out of the apartment looking for the child, it indicates a social worker is needed to teach them some kind of parenting skills.

One case I know of, the mother cashed in some food stamps and headed for a day at the mall, she left her husband to babysit so he put the child in the backseat of a car for a nap while he went into a bar for his favorite beverage. That ended up taking longer than he originally planned and meanwhile the 3 year old woke up and left the car. Someone found the baby walking down the middle of this street - nothing much but bars and liquor stores so they took the baby to the police station.

After a couple hours the father left the bar and discovered the baby was gone so he looked around for a while, then called his wife on her cell phone so she left the mall and came to look. A couple more hours, they called in other relatives to look but when it got dark out and still no luck they realized that with a river close by and stray dogs and coyotes in the area that maybe they should call the police. Of course the police by then were wondering why it took so many hours for the parents to notice their kid was gone and call them.

They didn't lose the child but were mad that a social worker began making regular visits to their home to check up on their kids.

Sounds as if that kid has a bright future ahead, huh? Re the bolded: I know a therapist who does some evaluations of parents who have had their children removed from their home. He has to interview them and recommend what the potential is for them being found fit to get their kids back. He said the very basic thing he first looks for is whether the parents are consumed with guilt and regret that their behavior caused problems with their child, or if they are simply angry that the city/state took their kids. If it's the latter, he sees a big problem.

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by JBMallory

I agree with calling CPS or 9-1-1 but I also don't believe you are a parent. My 2 year old can unlock the deadbolt and be out the front door in the time it takes me to take a leak.. however, she did it once and after being reprimanded, hasn't done it again. It is easy for a kid to sneak out. Hell my 2 year old disappeared and my wife called me frantic she was crying and yelling and couldn't find her... she had curled up on the couch and covered herself completely with her blanket... my wife and i both almost had a heart attack lol

My daughter was about three when she got away from me at a motor vehicle office. She was right at my feet playing with another kid while I had to fill out a form and pay a fine, and when I was done the other kid was sitting with her parents. The place was crowded and I was so scared. I was calling her name and finally a woman asked if she was a little girl wearing a t-shirt with a shark on the front and that she had seen her walk down the stairs (I was on the second floor). I found her outside the main entrance playing with the little white stones in the landscaping area...it was right by the exit from the parking lot to the highway...

I yelled at her all the way to the car, buckling her into her seat, and driving home told her the story of the little boy who wandered away from his parents in a store and a bad man stole him and killed him and all they ever found was the boy's head floating in the water...she cried and cried and then about ten minutes later she said, "Mom?" and I said "Yes?" and she said, "Tell me again that story about the little boy who got his head cut off."

[Sunnydee]

I think you did the best you thing you could at the time. What's past is past, don't beat yourself about it. I'm just glad you intervened and the little boy was safely reunited with his family.

[Antlered Chamataka]

I just thought about something. The guy who found the boy first is the lone true hero of that night. He could just have went his own way, but he secured the wildly running kid and this is when I came into the picture. He's such a good guy.

[dvcgal]

I would have called he police after about 20 minutes. I think that if after 20 minutes of looking and not seeing anyone outside looking for their child, that I would have just gone ahead and called.