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I have searched to see if anybody had started a thread on this topic but I could not find one, please forgive me if I am repeating a topic.
My questions is this: What is your opinion on these social networks? Do you allow your children to use them?
I just feel SOOOOOO annoyed, that we hear all the time about the dangers of internet for children and the importance for parents to monitor their children activities on the computer and then someones decide to create these networks where children are preassured by their peers to put their pictures, and a lot of personal information.
I am sorry but I do not buy this thing that you can choose not to put pictures and that you can restrict you details only to friends.
My daughter has been asking for months to be allowed to join Facebook so I decided to join first in order to understand how it works and yes I can choose not to put a personal picture but then my friend can put a group picture with me in it without asking my permission.
Most of the conversations are open to anybody if one is not careful, etc....
I can see pictures (at least the profile one) of perfect strangers as long as they are friends of friends and I can witness a lot of exchanges that in the past people would have kept private.
I feel that as parents we are asked to protect our children but then we see the tools to protect them taken away from us.
I have asked this questions to some mums here in Spain and many of them did not even know that their children were spending a ot of time on these kind of social networks and if they did they did not seem very concerned about it. An I being unreasonable? Am I being overprotective?
My opinion is that social networking is part of the world now and that our children need to learn how to use them while still under our supervision. My teens (13, 15) are allowed to be on FB (they don't like MySpace) as long as they are my friend and my husband's friend. We can see what they are up to and see what is going on on their pages.
I allow them to put up pictures as long as they are appropriate. My oldest son is a football player and right now all the posts on his page have something to do with the NFL, his HS football team, and homework for is AP World History class. My middle son is in marching band and his page has posts about songs, competitions and his 8th grade Literature class.
I think that you have to closely monitor what your kids are doing, saying and posting online. If you forbid them from using then you run the risk of them going underground (they have access from places other than your house) and then you will never know what is going on. The plus side of social networks is that your kids are more likely to communicate with you because you are using forms of communication that are comfortable for them.
My kids keep in touch with my MIL and aunt who live out of state. They will forget to call but they use FB every day and love when grandma or my aunt comment on their pictures, posts, and videos.
I think there is a potential for problems with social networking sites, but you need to set the ground rules and allow your kids to try to use these sites responsibly.
My teens use FB, (they don't use MS anymore). It does concern my dh. He is also nervous about who might be viewing the pictures and information. However, I joined FB myself, and I can see what they are posting. In fact, a lot of parents are frequent posters on FB, is isn't just for teens, I use it all the time now. You can hide many of your pictures and your profile, although I don't think you can hide your profile picture. There's nothing you can do about your daughter's friends sharing pictures of your her, but you can't stop that whether she's a member or not. But the "walls", where the postings take place are indeed visible only to friends, you can choose the settings in your FB profile. If your daughter does join, you can keep an eye on out to be sure she isn't sharing pictures of herself. You can stipulate that you must be one of her "friends", so you can monitor what she is posting.
Thank you for your comments so far. We too in the end gave permission to my daughter to be on FB provided I could be her friend and I realize our children live in a contest we can't change. All we can do is to adapt and learn so that we can be there with them.
Having said so I can't help feeling uncomfortable just by looking at some of the pictures some of my daughter's friends (girls mainly) post. If I were a pedophile I would have the time of my life!!!
No open nakedness or things like that but a lot of "lolitas" poses etc.
My 16 year old daughter has a FB and just like everyone else we are friends and I watch what she and her friends post.
I think that the internet and these types of social networks are an integral part of their generation. Just like everything else in her life from driving, to study habits, to what she watches on TV, to what clothes she wears, to dating, to going to parties, etc, etc - she needs to be taught good habits and what's appropriate. Social networking on the internet will happen now or later (like in college) and it's better to give them guidance and advice now. We've also talked about the fact that relatives, teachers, other parents and potential employers will look at her "web life" not to mention the possibility of malicious interest. Teaching the kids how to be safe on the internet is no different than teaching them how to be safe in the front yard. You can keep them from certain situations both in real life and the internet but you can't keep them in a bubble forever.
We have recently allowed DD to join FB but she doesn't have time to keep up with it as much as most of her 'friends' do (she is currently the only one getting all A's....I see a correlation, lol). She needs to know the person IRL before they become friends...no internet only friends. DH is listed as her friend and she is in the room with us when she is logged on. We regularly ask her who she is talking to, how she knows them and will even look at the conversations on the screen. There's no expectation of privacy.
ETA-as does citizenjane, we have discussed with her that nothing is private that she posts. Even the chats should not be considered private as someone can easily take a screen shot and reveal what you said about someone else, etc. She doesn't gossip IRL and she needs to have the same discretion on-line.
A number of kids in my older sons circle now have facebook to goof around and chat - however, none of them post their actual picture, they all have goofy cartoon images to represent them. It started when one good friend moved overseas, but honestly I wish I could put this genie back in the bottle. Its just a hassle you have to supervise. In our case too, all DS's email actually goes to me, so I know exactly what messages are being sent to him.
I joined Facebook because it is an effective way to stay in contact with both my kids (22 & 28) as well as getting a good idea as to what they are really doing as opposed to what they tell me they are doing when we chat on the phone.
Okay, I know they are adults now and can do what they want, but stuff like Facebook is the way of the world now and parents have to figure out how to use it and make it work for us rather than trying to fight it.
In our case too, all DS's email actually goes to me, so I know exactly what messages are being sent to him.
Are you sure about that? Could he have a Hotmail or Yahoo mail account that you do not know about? Could he have an alternate Facebook account with a pseudonym? All are really easy to do.
My daughter has been asking for months to be allowed to join Facebook so I decided to join first in order to understand how it works and yes I can choose not to put a personal picture but then my friend can put a group picture with me in it without asking my permission.
Most of the conversations are open to anybody if one is not careful, etc....
I can see pictures (at least the profile one) of perfect strangers as long as they are friends of friends and I can witness a lot of exchanges that in the past people would have kept private.
I feel that as parents we are asked to protect our children but then we see the tools to protect them taken away from us.
I have asked this questions to some mums here in Spain and many of them did not even know that their children were spending a ot of time on these kind of social networks and if they did they did not seem very concerned about it. An I being unreasonable? Am I being overprotective?
What is your opinion on this topic?
I forgot to add that my daughter is only 13. If she was 16 or older I would worry less because with every passing year (in theory) children grow in knowledge, wisdom and experience.
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