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Old 05-29-2007, 06:01 PM
 
Location: glenwood il
8 posts, read 21,283 times
Reputation: 13

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Change is good and it is necessary for personal growth. If you have faith, then fear is not an option. You only live once and it's better to try than to spend the rest of your life wondering, "what if ?" No matter where you go or what you do, keep GOD first and you will be o.k.! There are a lot of beautiful places to see on this earth and they were put here just for that reason. For US TO SEE! I moved with my kids every year because I was a single mom and they are stronger because of it. I was a single, teen age mom as was all of my sisters , my mom, aunts , and female cousins. I talked to my daughter and regardless of all the moving she is a healthy 22 year old college student living in houston on the verge of getting her degree. She is the firt female in my family to go to college. She is the first female in my family to break the teen age mom cycle. She in well adjusted, disciplined and happy. So you see, it's not what you do, or where you do it, it"s how you do it. She told me that all the moving was exciting to her. She still keeps in touch with all of her friend in different states, she has lots of places to visit on her breaks, and she has lots of beautiful memories and stories to tell!

Last edited by peggysue114; 05-29-2007 at 06:12 PM..
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Old 05-29-2007, 06:40 PM
 
Location: Alexandria, VA
1,078 posts, read 3,437,744 times
Reputation: 486
It is different for everyone. We are moving with our 13 (almost 14 year old) and he has Asperger's syndrome, so change for him is especially hard.
But we know in the long run it will be better for our family as a whole.
MBG
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Old 05-30-2007, 03:52 PM
 
4,007 posts, read 9,885,827 times
Reputation: 1792
It depends. Some people HAVE to move because of job or whatever and they simply don't have a choice.

Military move all the time and uproot their families.

If you don't have to move, then talk to your child and see what can be worked out.

Dawn
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Old 05-31-2007, 10:37 AM
 
Location: Home is where we park it.
3,091 posts, read 8,205,728 times
Reputation: 3143
We always made a pros/cons list when job changing. (I've moved 13 times in 11 years of marriage and stayed in the last spot for 6 years...we moved when the daughter was in 10th grade and stayed longer than planned).

But when doing a pros/cons list, any child who is old enough to write or have a opinion about the process should have their own say to the list.

However, with that said, sometimes moving is in the best interest of the FAMILY and kids just HAVE to adjust.

On one of our moves, my then 12 year old said she didn't want to move...told her she was moving. But unlike most children she HAD an option. She could either move with us or move back to her mom's but she WAS moving.

She moved with us. And stayed until she graduated and on her own. Liz
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Old 05-31-2007, 11:58 AM
 
3,077 posts, read 4,991,043 times
Reputation: 5300
Default We've got us a ringer.

Quote:
Originally Posted by vseale View Post
I know something about having to adjust to new environments.

Kids feel left out and forgotten during a move. Give your children tasks they are responsible for in the pre-move, during the move and helping to settle into the new home.

Fear of moving is fear of the unknown.

Just keep reminding them this is part of the adventure of life and they get out of it what they put into it.
vseale - your post (partially referenced above) is AWESOME!!! You should give serious thought to having it published in a parenting magazine. I'll be printing off two copies to hand to each of my children.
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Old 05-31-2007, 03:00 PM
 
Location: Dallas(Lake Highlands)
126 posts, read 406,841 times
Reputation: 80
NYC2RDU, thank you so much for your kind words. Funny, you should mention writing an article. After I posted the note, I started thinking about it and realized I had more to say. I am researching the idea and am going to pitch it to some parenting magainzes. Wish me luck!
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Old 08-25-2007, 02:27 AM
 
Location: Waipahu, HI
50 posts, read 166,679 times
Reputation: 71
Default Military moves

My father was in the Army, so we moved around the world. The last time we moved was when I was 14 going on 15. We moved from Colorado Springs to Hawaii. On the plus side, Hawaii has warm weather year-round. On the minus side, the cost of living in Hawaii is very high, so we have to settle for a small house here as opposed to our big house in Colorado. Another minus is that I don't get to listen to radio stations from other states. In Colorado, I could listen to the 50,000-watt AM stations every night from Oklahoma, Texas, Wyoming, Utah, New Mexico, California, Arizona, Minnesota, Nebraska, and Illinois. Here in Hawaii, I can only pick up AM stations each night as far away as the Big Island, and they don't come in as strong as the 50,000-watters on the mainland.
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Old 08-25-2007, 06:47 AM
 
Location: Home is where we park it.
3,091 posts, read 8,205,728 times
Reputation: 3143
Update to this:

She is now 21 and she was down here just a couple of weeks ago. She asked me if this was long term or did we plan on moving any time soon. Told her that unless the company moved us, this was it til retirement. She then said that she appreciated us staying in one place for her to graduate. (our last move was the year she was 16) I told her that we tried but some times our moves were dictated by her dad needing to go where the work was. She said she understood that now but was sorry she made it so difficult back then.

She also told me she appreciated all the places she had seen and the friends she had made. Liz
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Old 08-25-2007, 07:26 AM
 
486 posts, read 863,672 times
Reputation: 198
Quote:
Originally Posted by peggysue114 View Post
Change is good and it is necessary for personal growth. If you have faith, then fear is not an option. You only live once and it's better to try than to spend the rest of your life wondering, "what if ?" No matter where you go or what you do, keep GOD first and you will be o.k.! There are a lot of beautiful places to see on this earth and they were put here just for that reason. For US TO SEE! I moved with my kids every year because I was a single mom and they are stronger because of it. I was a single, teen age mom as was all of my sisters , my mom, aunts , and female cousins. I talked to my daughter and regardless of all the moving she is a healthy 22 year old college student living in houston on the verge of getting her degree. She is the firt female in my family to go to college. She is the first female in my family to break the teen age mom cycle. She in well adjusted, disciplined and happy. So you see, it's not what you do, or where you do it, it"s how you do it. She told me that all the moving was exciting to her. She still keeps in touch with all of her friend in different states, she has lots of places to visit on her breaks, and she has lots of beautiful memories and stories to tell!

You are so right! I moved a lot when I was a kid, and I think that I am a stronger person because of it. I am not afraid to try new things and go new places by myself. Many people in my family have lived in the same city all of their lives and they criticize me because I don't have a problem with moving to another city for a job opportunity or just because I want to. I believe that you just have to do what is best for the family as a whole and if that involves moving to another city, then so be it. The children will adjust.
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Old 08-25-2007, 07:27 AM
 
Location: NE Florida
9,362 posts, read 22,337,260 times
Reputation: 9263
My family moved when I was 13 and it had a dramatic impact on my life. But I think a lot has to do with the famlily unit. I didn't have a strong, supportive home environment and very few boundaries.

My son is 13. His dad passed away a few years ago, we moved, then moved again three years ago. I am regularly amazed at how resilient, positive and mentally healthy he is. My 10 YO g'daughter, who I am raising, too. I can't say that I was that strong the past few years, but have been pretty consistent with boundaries and being supportive. And the kids had eachother, which probably helped them ride out my period of being a basket case.

A counselor that I saw after his death told me- "If you are okay, the kids will be okay." Simple, yet profound. And while I knew that all along, sometimes we need to be reminded of those simple truths!
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