U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-30-2009, 03:43 PM
 
Location: Derby, KS
3,832 posts, read 7,668,853 times
Reputation: 1555
Quote:
Originally Posted by CeeKer View Post
My 10 yr old son has been given a girls part in a school play because they had one too many boys to fill the boys roles and there were still a couple of important girl roles to fill. He is a bit upset about being the only boy singled out like this. Any suggestions on how to support him?
There's no reason he should have to play the part of a fairy princess....

...wait...what was the role again?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-30-2009, 07:39 PM
 
6,586 posts, read 15,904,708 times
Reputation: 2984
My son would have told the teacher, No Way and he would flatly refuse to do it and if they wanted to involve, me, the parent, I would support him in his decision and he wouldn't do it no matter what.

(This is a good time to encourage/teach your son to stick up for himself - even to authority figures.)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-30-2009, 08:23 PM
 
47,586 posts, read 33,371,244 times
Reputation: 21507
Quote:
Originally Posted by CeeKer View Post
Neither had I!!!!

I am wondering if this is some agenda driven thing now.
It sure sounds like it is. Another gender bending thing they're doing to very young children.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-30-2009, 10:00 PM
 
1,452 posts, read 2,616,225 times
Reputation: 935
He's 10 years old, waaaaay too young to stand up to a teacher. This is definitely something the parents should get involved with. to say he has to learn to "fight his own battles" is not taking the situation into consideration, its a cop out for the parents.

yes, we have to let our kids learn how to negoiate for themselves as time goes on, but the child's age must be taken into consideration. A ten-year old just doesn't have the skills to confront a teacher and "just say no".

To require him to play the part of a princess is plain ridiculous, and even if its not mandatory, its abusive to even suggest it to him. The emotional trauma he's going through should have never happened. DO NOT let him play that role, he will never live it down, and the trauma will last a lifetime.

This is the time for the parent to step in. Just tell the teacher that you consider the role inappropriate and will NOT allow it, its not open to discussion, also, let the teacher know you're upset by the suggestion, putting him in a prediciment he doesn't have the skills to negotiate. This is a teacher on a power kick!

As kids get older they can look the teacher in the eye and just say NO but not at age ten. The very suggestion that he play a princess is traumatic and abusive and I would let the teacher and principal know.

This is part of PC (political correctness). Oh, its ok to be gay, its ok to cross dress, why would that bother you? And if the other kids tease you about it, this is a good time to learn to stand up for yourself. Of course, we can send you to counseling to learn how to handle such situations. This is the BS you will hear and your son will be told.

Tell them NO. What would happen if he just doesn't show up for the play? They can't FORCE him to do so!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-30-2009, 10:02 PM
 
1,452 posts, read 2,616,225 times
Reputation: 935
Ummm..............perhaps a letter to the local newspaper? Just FYI, this what our school considers an "education"?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-30-2009, 10:03 PM
 
6,586 posts, read 15,904,708 times
Reputation: 2984
A 10-year-old should be able to stand up for themselves. It's not too young.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-30-2009, 10:56 PM
 
Location: Michigan--good on the rocks
2,544 posts, read 2,012,865 times
Reputation: 1887
Quote:
Originally Posted by FarNorthDallas View Post
A 10-year-old should be able to stand up for themselves. It's not too young.
Against a teacher? Against the very authority figure that for five years now you've been teaching him to obey? I would think he could have a part in standing up, but I really think it's an unreasonable expectation.

It seems clear to me that the teacher has an agenda here. Otherwise, why not ask him to play a part that is more neutral and could be rewritten with little effort?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-30-2009, 11:18 PM
 
Location: Phoenix
354 posts, read 551,427 times
Reputation: 409
Default Uncomfortable cross dresser

Respect the poor kids feelings about being singled out to play a girls part. It is wrong to force him and to hell with the school if they try to lean on you. They can try harder to find a girl for the part and/or find him a role that will not make him the target of ridicule from his peers.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-01-2009, 12:39 AM
 
5,567 posts, read 7,755,057 times
Reputation: 5567
Sometimes just in allowing your child to talk to the teacher, with you there for support, about his feelings he can change his mind and feel better about a situation. I have two boys and I have found this to be true on several occasions. Boys, especially, seem to have trouble talking about their feelings. It's important to at least give them an opportunity to express how they feel in a safe way, and also knowing that mom/dad and the teacher all do genuinely care but that sometimes this is just how life is and you gotta roll with it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-01-2009, 12:50 AM
 
5,567 posts, read 7,755,057 times
Reputation: 5567
At our school being part of the play counts as a grade. So, depending on how the school does it... they can't force him to participate, but it could possibly affect his grades...

I feel it's unreasonable to expect a 10-year old child to deal with this problem on his own if it's something he's never dealt with before. It sounds like this is something new that he's never had to face before, so it seems right that he would turn to his parents for support in this. The parents need to respect his feelings, and model proper behavior for their son - showing him what adults do when presented with these kinds of life issues that come up - talk about it with the ones who are in charge of the situation. In this case - the teacher or whoever is in charge of running the play. If there's nothing that can be done and no solution or compromise can be made, well... that's life, and the kids need to learn that, too. Sometimes life isn't much fun and we have to just grin and bear it. But in talking it out - respectfully - and learning how to express his feelings in an appropriate manner (and watching his parents do the same)... next time something like this comes along he will be better equipped to deal with things on his own.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $79,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:01 AM.

© 2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top