Let kids be kids (infants, game, parents, activities)

[mom2redheads]

I have seen so many threads about parents concerns because their child doesn't know his letters, numbers, words and can't sit still at age 4 and 5, something must be wrong with them, my question is WHY?? Would you be happier if your child knew all his letters, numbers and knew how to read before he got into Kindergarten?? Isn't that what Kindergarten is for...to learn all that stuff?? I just want to know why it is so important for your child to know all those things at age 4~~sometimes I even see parents of 3 year olds putting pressure on them to learn their numbers and letters..Has anyone seen the commercial for "my baby can read" REALLY??? WHY?? Why would a parent want their baby to read?? Will you feel like a better parent if your 9 month old can read?? Do you think that baby actually comprehends what they are reading? I just don't get it...our kids are kids for such a short time and it just seems like there is so much pressure for them to know so much before they even get into school.

[lisdol]

Its the trend of competitive parenting. I am sure my grandmother (who raised me til I was 8) was not overly concerned about this kind of stuff. I went to montessori preschool for 2 yrs b/c I was a hyper little kid and she wanted me to go play with other little kids and have some peace in her day. I was already reading (I have no clue how, no one taught me, I did watch Sesame Street) by preschool, but I do not remember any academic instruction, just lots of learning by play.

These days though, people like to act like you are neglecting your children if you are not sending them to preschool or preschool-homeschooling them.

Of my kids who know how to read, none of them were reading until Kinder or, for the third one, the summer before (because it was so nice to see the older two sit down and read books to themselves I wanted to get him closer to doing that too). I have had people give me unsolicited advice on how to get them reading and what products I should buy. And, gee, despite my "neglect", the oldest has a college-level lexile score now (and he didn't even like reading until 2nd grade) and the second oldest loves reading and is in the "high" reading cluster in her class.

There are ways you can make letter learning fun for younger kids, and I don't think that is a bad thing. I just hate to see people feel so poorly about themselves if their kids aren't reading early.

[Dorthy]

I agree that we should let kids be kids. So much is learned through free play. I don't see a need to push academics or overly structured activities on young children. When I was a kid we learned to read in first grade, now kids are expected to learn in Kindergarten. All of the schools in our school district have switched to full day Kindergarten. There is no longer a half day option. IMO as long as kids are read to regularly for pleasure they will be curious enough to learn to how to read whether it's pushed on them or not. Pushing it on them before they are interested or ready could make reading seem like a chore rather then a pleasurable activity. I think in some cases it could backfire.

[mom2redheads]

I agree..parents should not feel poorly about themselves or their kids because they may be a little behind other kids in their class or whatever..some kids that age learn faster than others but just because they might not be doing what "Jonny" is doing doesn't mean something is wrong with them. I do wonder though for the children that are being pushed academically at that age...how are they when they are in 5th grade?? Are they so much more ahead of their class?? I am thinking probably not, they are probably right on track with everyone else....so is it really worth it to push kids academically when they should be socializing, having fun, playing and building their imagination... doing what kids do? I don't really think that kids should have to feel the pressure and frusterations at such an early age because they don't know their ABC'S AND 123'S before the age of 5.

[nuala]

I think those are normal question for the parent who's dealing with a particular stage for the first time.

I used to have all kinds of questions about potty training, I was very anxious. Now I view them as trivial. Not that I don't understand that parents can be anxious, I am just very past that.

I used to have all kinds of questions about pre-school, what it is supposed to teach. Now I am past that. I am sure by the time my kids are in high school I will be the wizard of school matters. Not just now, yet, with one preschooler, and one 1st grader.

Parenting magazines/sites thrive on these very questions and articles. It's impossible to become a proficient parent from day zero.

[highway29south]

It's the old "keeping up with the Jones" attitude. Except now it's "make sure you are better than the Jones". Bigger cars, bigger houses, better job titles and of course, smarter kids than everyone else. I've heard conversations from other parents where you'd think their kids were ready for Harvard at the age of 5 the way they were talking.

There also seems to be so much more pressure from the government for kids to achieve. The no child left behind law has created a competitive atmosphere in schools. I have three kids, two in middle school and one in elementary. As soon as my two oldest started school this year, they immediately began studying and taking tests for the upcoming PSSA's, which aren't given until next year. We also received an email from the schools telling parents how we ranked compared to other schools. That is a lot of pressure for kids and the schools.

Kids should be allowed to be kids. So true.

[flik_becky]

I feel really sad by this post. My DD taught herself how to read at age three. DS#1 was barely four. DS #3 is three. I did not teach them. As far as their ABC's, I don't see anything detrimental about the difference between learning to sing the ABC's or Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. We start our day everyday with singing, the numbers song (1-20), ABC's, Days of the week, Months of the year, and counting by threes to 99 are among them. All three sing to their ability but we don't force them to do it well and I am not stressed if they don't learn it. It's no different to us than all the other songs from Old McDonald to Row Row Row Your Boat.

I am saddened when people assume that because a kid at this age can do these things that is is forced. Maybe my kids can read well early because I am reading books to them everyday, sometimes for two hours straight if they get big ones, and often they will choose from the homeschooling shelves which include heavy reading material that they are just as content to hear. Maybe that is also why they have a large vocabulary.

I agree though that kids should be kids. That is partly why we homeschool. If my kids went to school, they would be picked up by the bus at 7:30 and would arrive home at 4. I'd have to put them to bed at 7:30 PM because they'd have to get up at 6:30 AM. (right now they sleep from 9pm to 8am). By the time we had dinner and did homework, it would be bedtime, no time for a kid to be a kid. Right now they have school from 9am-1pm, which is lunchtime for us. Right now DD is reading a book behind me to my 5 year old about animals while he is playing a little handheld game and the youngest is napping. The only one doing what I tell them is the youngest. Last night they stayed up a half hour past bedtime because DH nor I could bring ourselves to tell them to put their stacks of books away and that DD had to stop reading. They were enjoying themselves and the only problem we had was when our sons were arguing about whether or not a seal was a seal or a polar bear. (It was a question book where they were suppose to guess before turning the page and the little one was wrong, lol.)

I don't expect my kids to sit still or learn anything below age five but if they want to do something, because they find it fun, I'll give it to them or if they learn something because it is constantly part of their environment, it doesn't mean anyone forced them to. There is nothing competitive about it.

I just am offended when people just assume that I am an academic "pageant" mom. I'm not and the public in our area is not aware of our children, especially DD who is so far ahead. No reason to put her in the spotlight, just let her be herself and be a kid as long as she can.

[omigawd]

Originally Posted by mom2redheads

I agree..parents should not feel poorly about themselves or their kids because they may be a little behind other kids in their class or whatever

The teachers make the parents feel poorly, too, though. If you bring your child in for Kindergarten testing and the child can recite this, that, or the other, they think something is "wrong" with the child when there isn't anything wrong at all. Kindergarten is the first "official" year of a child's education and that's where they can learn it if they don't already know it.


I agree with the OP---- let's these kids be kids. Stop forcing them to be tiny adults. Stop with the "my baby can read" nonsense or the "potty training" at 3 months old --- yes, there IS some kind of "program" that teaches you to start potty training INFANTS.

Let them play, let them be kids, and, most importantly, let them all grow and learn at their own pace!!!

[steelstress]

Originally Posted by flik_becky

I feel really sad by this post. My DD taught herself how to read at age three. DS#1 was barely four. DS #3 is three. I did not teach them.

Sad? Oh please. Go back and read the original post. No one is talking about kids who do it themselves. They're talking about parents who force it.

It's not about you or your kids. But I understand, some parents will just take things out of context just to put the spotlight on themselves.

[mm_mary73]

and these same parents come in with their 20+ year old student to plan the college schedule because "S/He doesn't understand the process." Wow, that's certainly a good sign...