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Old 09-18-2014, 04:43 PM
 
325 posts, read 202,409 times
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I don't believe my mother regrets having me but her life would surely have been easier/better without me in the picture. I was not a planned pregnancy anyway.
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Old 09-19-2014, 02:20 PM
 
Location: Not where I want to be.
1,189 posts, read 1,370,368 times
Reputation: 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by bev osborn View Post
People in a Ann Landers' poll TOTALLY DID REGRET HAVING KIDS AND SAID IF THEY HAD THE CHANCE TO DO IT OVER,THEY WOULD NOT.
Very true.
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Old 09-19-2014, 04:10 PM
 
6,538 posts, read 4,821,411 times
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I do NOT regret having kids. At that time in my life, I was going nowhere fast, I had lost sight of any particular point in my own existence and I was really spinning my wheels. I had some self destructive habits and a non-productive attitude. I needed to grow up and find a purpose to live and exert effort for. My kids were that. They have brought out some really great things in me over the years.

I do wish that there were some way (and maybe in the distant future it might be possible) to download my entire life's experience into a computer simulator, then change some particular parameter, and have the computer show me what would likely have happened based on whatever probabilities it can manage, instead. I sometimes daydream about what my life may have been like if I'd gone to art college and not had kids and lived some creative dream, got involved sooner with certain people I treasure now... In short, I wonder what other possibilities could have unfolded. But not enough to regret having my kids.

Also though, I do look forward to them growing up, and being able to step forward on the next steps of my life path. I am not going to sit and weep over an empty nest...I intend for them to go forth and stand on their own, and I'm going to pursue a lot of goals that were too risky when I had them to provide for (starting up my own business, etc.) I did not have a safety net, and they will have to make do without one when they're adults, too.

I'm very glad I had them young (19-21) since I will be fairly young when they're grown and will still have a nice chunk of theoretical natural lifespan left to work with.
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Old 09-20-2014, 02:49 AM
 
Location: State of Grace
1,485 posts, read 941,766 times
Reputation: 2305
Morning all!

OP's question: Do you regret having kids?

Never; not even for an instant.

What I do regret is that I wasn't 'better' at pregnancy, as we had nine children and only four still survive.

As a young woman I always wanted a dozen kids, but my body wasn't up to the task. I LOVED and still do love being a mother (and a grandmother), and my husband is a born nurturer, so the journey for us was one for which we are indescribably grateful.

I also regret that our children don't keep in touch with us much, as they're busy with their own lives. That'll always be a disappointment, but it doesn't negate the gift of the journey and the privilege we feel we were given in simply having and raising them.

I'm too old now - fifty-eight - but I'd have another twelve in a minute if such things were possible.

There's nothing like love and family, and I LOVE children.

Blessings to all,

Mahrie.

Last edited by Mahrie; 09-20-2014 at 02:52 AM.. Reason: sp.
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Old 09-20-2014, 09:30 AM
 
Location: The Netherlands
4,295 posts, read 2,549,890 times
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NO and NEVER! She is my precious stone. I love her so much and I am happy that god gave me a child with no sign or qualities as her biological father king of morons. I am so blessed to be her mother. I love kids very much. I help kids financially to study too. All together I have 30 kids around the world with no color religion or race difference. Cannot explain the feeling when I get a letter from them with photos of their progress
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Old 09-23-2014, 10:46 AM
 
Location: NYC
10,140 posts, read 6,129,693 times
Reputation: 10635
I think in general, you should be clear when you have children what the goal is.

Some people are just bored and decide to have children and that's a big no-no. Get Dogs and see if you can manage pets first. I've met people who adopted puppies because they were bored and gave them away because they realize it was too stressful.

It's the same with children, if you can't handle puppies then you should not have children period.
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Old 09-23-2014, 10:48 AM
 
Location: Spokane, WA
1,991 posts, read 1,895,548 times
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I regret that I'm not as good a parent/father as I should be. It's not our kids fault that we suck as parents, so I don't regret having my boys. I'm just not that good at parenting, even though I try.
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Old 09-23-2014, 11:45 AM
 
837 posts, read 546,801 times
Reputation: 1998
Nope, no regrets at all. I love my kids, I love being a mom. I had a happy childhood myself, and as I watch my own three growing up, I kind of feel like I'm reliving it. I can't imagine my life without them; it would feel so empty.

That being said, I waited until age 35 to have any. I had a list in mind, that I checked off as I went through life: college, parties, adventure, travel, marriage, work & career, financial stability, more travel, own home. I felt totally and completely ready for children, by the time I got around to having them. I think a lot of people who regret becoming parents are really regretting the lost opportunities - they wish that they would have done X, Y, or Z with their lives, and feel that they can't do them with kids.
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Old 09-24-2014, 10:57 AM
 
Location: NYC
2,711 posts, read 2,595,849 times
Reputation: 4651
No regrets yet although I'm a very new parent. However, once the decision is made to keep the child, the matter of choice is removed from the equation. I am now a parent and it is no longer a choice just like the fact I was born male, of a certain height and build living in America. To regret something that can't be changed just doesn't make any sense.
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Old 09-24-2014, 01:04 PM
 
Location: Denver, Colorado U.S.A.
14,174 posts, read 21,223,257 times
Reputation: 10428
Quote:
Originally Posted by vision33r View Post
I think in general, you should be clear when you have children what the goal is.

Some people are just bored and decide to have children and that's a big no-no. Get Dogs and see if you can manage pets first. I've met people who adopted puppies because they were bored and gave them away because they realize it was too stressful.

It's the same with children, if you can't handle puppies then you should not have children period.
I have a friend my age who did just that. Her and her husband got a puppy, and soon realized it was more work than they wanted, but did keep the dog for life. After the dog died of old age, she told me that she knew she couldn't handle kids, and went back to having a cat, because one cat was all she could handle.
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