Help! Misbehaving in stores (day care, method, teens, milk)
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While I think kids that are making a fuss need to be taken aside and dealt with, I don't think the OP ever told us why she is a single mom.
Perhaps she is a widow. Perhaps her husband up and left her for someone else. Perhaps her husband just up and left. Let's not go to the place where we are blaming Mom for being single, since we don't know how she became single.
Actually it doesn't matter how she became a single mother, because either way it's no excuse for poorly behaving children. A single mother should be able to discipline a child as easily as a married mother can, and many children of single mothers behave well. Someone else brought the single mother up as some kind of excuse.
I only had one problem with my son in public - always took him everywhere with me. We were out and he decided to throw a tantrum. I calmly took him in the bathroom, course everyone was watching me thinking OMG that kid is sooo going to get it, and I gave him 2 choices: either stop screaming and acting like he was raised by wolves or I would hire a a babysitter and never, ever take him with me anywhere again. My DS loved going with me so he immediately said 'but mommy I don't want to stay with a babysitter'. So I told him to get his act together or that's what would happen. He was probably 2 1/2 at the time, but always loved going with mommy so just the thought of not going with me was enough. Then we left the bathroom and not sure what people thought I 'did' to him, but he never acted up again in public and didn't have to lay a hand on him.
Don't know about your kids, but again with mine he just loved going places with me - so when I told him I wouldn't anymore if he acted like that, well, he decided he'd act like a human being and not some psycho kid. Good luck hon. Shame kids don't come with user's manuals but would probably fill up an entire house.
The only thing I can say is overstimulation, overstimulation, overstimulation.
I went through the same with my son. That influenced his sister to act out a little too. But it was mainly him. I limited the trips to the store, and I still do, even though he is older and has gained some maturity. I figure that for him (he has disabilities), the sensory input is too much. It can be as simple as the smell of a store -- like the ones where they have a restaurant and you can smell the burnt cheese or popcorn grease. It can be the noise and all the people and the stuff. I can't remember a time I haven't heard a child crying or wailing in a Walmart.
I realized not too long ago that there is a designated Child Beating Zone in front of every Wal-Mart in America. Because every time I walk up to one, there's some parent out front wailing away on her screaming child.
^LOL We usually just go home for that so nobody calls cps.
As a parent I've really got to wonder what in the heck is going through their mind when they do that. For me if my kids are acting out in a store that badly we leave and come back another time. Oh they will be punished without a doubt but it's not going to be a public flogging.
^LOL We usually just go home for that so nobody calls cps.
As a parent I've really got to wonder what in the heck is going through their mind when they do that. For me if my kids are acting out in a store that badly we leave and come back another time. Oh they will be punished without a doubt but it's not going to be a public flogging.
Well I went grocery shopping and everything went smooth. YEAH!! I went through the sales ads (everything based on those) friday night and cut out all the stuff I was buying that had pictures then posted them on paper for the kids to look for them. They each had stuff from all the different sections of the store I was going through so they were looking the whole time. THANK YOU for the advice. It is greatly appreciated.
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Originally Posted by laulob
I have one trick that also works well and has worked well for years. My kids (5 and 7) are usually good through a store but get fidgity and whiney at the check out. That's when I play the statue game. I have the kids compete to see who can stand the most still and quiet in a pose like a statue until times up. Two or three "games" holds my kids attention long enough for me to load everything on the belt and pay (unless the line is terribly long).
Sometimes I even have my kids play the game with another kid acting up near by. I can't tell you how well this works - I'm often amazed myself although I think my 7 year old is starting to catch on!
That sounds similar to something I used to do with my kids, the "quiet mouse" game. "Who is the quietest mouse of all, you or your brother?" Worked like a charm for several years.
When grocery shopping, I would shop so that the bakery was at the end of the trip. They gave out free cookies to kids and I told my kids that the clerks are only allowed to give them to children that have been good. When we would hit the bakery, I woud make a big deal out of how good my kids had been, so could they have a cookie.
Also, I would let them pick out a few items, but only if they were good. Cereal was a biggie with them and they loved being able to make the decision. To pick out a cereal, they had to be good and could not get one with a cartoon on the box (BC most of those were the sugary kind.)
There were always a few items that they really were looking forward to on my list and if they misbehaved, I would not get it. When we got home and they would ask for it, I would just say, "Oh, I'm sorry honey, we couldn't get it BC you were misbehaving. I'll put it on the list for next week."
I need some help. I am a single mom of two children (3 & 4) When we go to restraurants they are great and sit nicely. Yet when I take them to a grocery store, Target, or any other kind of store they are off the walls. I don't know how to stop them from acting out. I have tried the we leave the store and come back another time, I have tried having them sit down til they calm down, countless routes. I just don't know were to go next. It is to the point were I am embarassed to take them to the store. Yes I am ashamed I have to even post this. When we go to the store I will see other children their age acting so nice and I want to cry cause I just want mine to be that way as well. If anyone has any ideas please share I am willing to try anything at this point.
they sound like my kids. I don't think there is much you can do. I try to go alone or with only one kid whenever possible. We have a reward and penalty system. I remind them going in that they will earn a marble if they behave, and lose one if they don't. It doesn't always work.
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