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When my environment includes Adults flipping off or telling young kids to F-off and it's "normal" then I'm moving.
Why? Because for most of America it's not "normal". Like I said, sorry that the environment you live in sees that enough to seem "normal" because it's not normal. Not even close.
If we ran away every time something we didn't like happened, we'd eventually run out of places to run away to. Personally I find those kinds of sentiments cowardly.
We have lived in four different states in large and small cities, in poor and rich neighborhoods, and there are always those people who behave poorly, without respect for anyone but themselves, and sometimes without respect even for themselves. It's just life. Small cities, large cities, rich so-called "classy" areas, poor run-down areas... Bad behavior is becoming more the norm everywhere. It's all over the Disney channel lately... our society has been spiraling downward with regards to respect and courtesy for generations.
My kids and I have been flipped off many times. We lived in the Seattle area (eastside near Bellevue and Redmond) and it happened on a weekly basis there as road rage is a big problem in that area. Our family doctor there even warned us about it when we first moved there for my husbands job - she told us not to drive more than we absolutely had to and to be sure and always wear our seat belts, etc... she said that the area was known for crazy road rage incidents... but now I'm rambling...
The best thing you can do in situations where someone else behaves in an inappropriate way is to check yourself, find a way to diffuse your own emotions if your feathers were ruffled, and use the experience as a teaching moment for your kids. How does it make you feel when someone acts that way? Ask your kids this... and remind them that behaviors like giving someone the bird is not acceptable for good, intelligent people because it's disrespectful to others. And also remind them that no one can control anyone's elses behavior - all you can do is learn to control yourself and mind your own.
People are so angry these days... people don't even seem to realize how angry they are these days. Stress factors are high, time is so limited, we're all rushing around. Being all jacked-up on Starbucks, Red Bull or other so-called "energy drinks", processed foods, refined sugars, and prescription meds isn't helping, either.
Some of the rudest behavior I've seen has been in the parking lots at drop off and pick-up times at the kids schools. Parents are cutting people off, driving inconsiderately, flipping each other off, being impatient, honking and yelling instead of waiting patiently... It's really awful.
And this is what we're teaching, the example we're setting, for the next generation... nice, huh?
Loved your post, haggardhouseelf. I agree about the general lack of civility today, but I'm not sure whether it's new or something I'm just now more aware of when I see it.
Two examples of many uncivil acts I observed during the past few days:
* This morning on the way to an appointment, an SUV practically ran me off the road. Plastered on the back window was a bumper sticker: My SUV can beat the crap out of your Prius. I found myself wondering what was missing in that person's life that he needed to pick fights with strangers using a bumper sticker. I mean, what is the point, exactly?
* At a family dinner this past weekend, my husband's uncle answered a phone call in the middle of the meal and then shushed the people at the table so he could hear better. It never dawned on him that he might get up and take the phone call in a quieter part of the house. I thought my MIL was going to kill him!
Seriously, the only way to deal with these kind of situations is to have a good sense of humor and laugh your way through it, because people are nuts. Just nuts.
Last edited by formercalifornian; 10-12-2009 at 01:54 PM..
EXACTLY.
What kind of idiotic school administrator uses a 9 year old to flag cars?
I remember when I was in elementary school, I believe the upper two grades had volunteer school crossing guards. We're talking 9-11 year olds. The furthest crossing was on a busy street about 2-1/2 blocks away from the school. I remember in the afternoons, we would escort kindergarten kids to that crossing and then wait for the other grades to be let out. The only things you had to know were to cross at corners and crosswalks and that your body would lose in a contest with a non-stopping car.
I look at it as a step in building character, giving responsibility and trust to a group of soon to be teens. We liked it because we got out of class early and the end of year fun day at a theme park, but we did take the responsibility seriously. I guess we must have been more mature at that age than the current crop of kids (I highly doubt it).
formercalifornian.I know this is off-topic but it is an "all about me" society sadly.
I was sitting behind a car at a red light and his bumper sticker in his back window read "How would you like a nice cup of shut the F*** Up!" Nice huh
Rudeness is Everywhere and it always will be and it is best to teach our children how to deal with their own emotions before they spill over into the adult emotions and anger we see today ...soemtimes we need to let things just roll off our shoulders and move on with other issues.
Now that you've found out Bozo has a nice traffic violation to deal with, can you accept that as justice being served?
It sounds to me like the school handled the situation well. I'd advise you, personally, to drop the matter, as far as the other dad goes. I can't see anything beneficial to you or your kid coming from it.
What disturbs me the most is the people who are steering the problem to the 9 year old directing traffic.
So you see a 9yo actually being involved in her school and under adult supervision is directing traffic. Because of her age, you don't have to listen to her or follow her direction? Sounds kinda childish to me.
And good way to steer the blame away from where it actually belongs...to the neanderthal that flipped off a child.
Granny Sue, please don't misunderstand my concerns. The child is NOT to blame for the behavior of the angry man driving the car. He was completely out of line. Nonetheless, I respectfully disagree that it is appropriate for a nine-year-old child, who is not yet of driving age, to be directing cars in any way, shape, or form. I strongly believe that should be the realm of adults. There are a myriad of other ways that children can show initiative in a school environment that do not have them out in the middle of cars driven by hurried, distracted, and apparently sometimes socially inept people. There is just too much room for an error in judgment to cause lasting harm.
If I had a nine-year-old daughter and an adult man flipped her off, I would be angry and upset, too.
My daughter is 15 and if a man flipped HER off, I would be upset.
It's perfectly natural.
If it was possible to identify the person, I think I'd try to find some creative way to embarrass him by letting the world know what he did without trying to embarrass the kid.
I agree that it's natural to get angry, but you can't let your anger get out of proportion.
A few years ago I took my daughter and her friend to lunch at a restaurant that had a bar running along one side. My daughter was 15 at the time, and she is very attractive, but dresses very conservatively. I went to the ladies room and when I came back I saw this 40-something man checking her out like she was a piece of meat. I wanted to say something to call him on his obvious sexual interest in a teenager--MY teenager in particular of course--but instead, I just stood there, arms folded, all six-foot-one of Mama Me and stared him down until he became aware of it. I saw light dawn on his face and then he quickly turned back to the bar and buried his face in his rocks glass. Heh heh heh. My daughter was completely unaware that this was going on.
Granny Sue, please don't misunderstand my concerns. The child is NOT to blame for the behavior of the angry man driving the car. He was completely out of line. Nonetheless, I respectfully disagree that it is appropriate for a nine-year-old child, who is not yet of driving age, to be directing cars in any way, shape, or form. I strongly believe that should be the realm of adults. There are a myriad of other ways that children can show initiative in a school environment that do not have them out in the middle of cars driven by hurried, distracted, and apparently sometimes socially inept people. There is just too much room for an error in judgment to cause lasting harm.
I can see what you're saying, I don't agree with you but that's ok.....but some were saying that they weren't going to listen to a 9yo...just because she is 9 years old. She's been assigned a duty....is in the process of learning, and she has to now deal with a bunch of childish adults. That's just as bad as someone flipping her off.
What is all this teaching the child? That adults are idiots and want to do what they want to do when they want to do it with no concern of anyone else.
When are we going to start standing up to these bullies and let them know this behavior just isn't ok?
Bullying a 9 year old isn't OK just because people don't think she should be out there doing this. Take it up with the school, not out on the student.
If we ran away every time something we didn't like happened, we'd eventually run out of places to run away to. Personally I find those kinds of sentiments cowardly.
We have lived in four different states in large and small cities, in poor and rich neighborhoods, and there are always those people who behave poorly, without respect for anyone but themselves, and sometimes without respect even for themselves. It's just life. Small cities, large cities, rich so-called "classy" areas, poor run-down areas... Bad behavior is becoming more the norm everywhere. It's all over the Disney channel lately... our society has been spiraling downward with regards to respect and courtesy for generations.
My kids and I have been flipped off many times. We lived in the Seattle area (eastside near Bellevue and Redmond) and it happened on a weekly basis there as road rage is a big problem in that area. Our family doctor there even warned us about it when we first moved there for my husbands job - she told us not to drive more than we absolutely had to and to be sure and always wear our seat belts, etc... she said that the area was known for crazy road rage incidents... but now I'm rambling...
The best thing you can do in situations where someone else behaves in an inappropriate way is to check yourself, find a way to diffuse your own emotions if your feathers were ruffled, and use the experience as a teaching moment for your kids. How does it make you feel when someone acts that way? Ask your kids this... and remind them that behaviors like giving someone the bird is not acceptable for good, intelligent people because it's disrespectful to others. And also remind them that no one can control anyone's elses behavior - all you can do is learn to control yourself and mind your own.
People are so angry these days... people don't even seem to realize how angry they are these days. Stress factors are high, time is so limited, we're all rushing around. Being all jacked-up on Starbucks, Red Bull or other so-called "energy drinks", processed foods, refined sugars, and prescription meds isn't helping, either.
Some of the rudest behavior I've seen has been in the parking lots at drop off and pick-up times at the kids schools. Parents are cutting people off, driving inconsiderately, flipping each other off, being impatient, honking and yelling instead of waiting patiently... It's really awful.
And this is what we're teaching, the example we're setting, for the next generation... nice, huh?
Well, plan A. Was to drive up and tear the guy a new one verbally.
plan B. Was to Hook my F350 up to his minivan and drag it backwards until all four tires burst into flames.
plan C. Was to tear off his middle finger and make him eat it bite by crunchy bite.
So it's probably best I chilled and had the Mrs. go straighten it out. I didn't always used to have such a cool head Hence my screen name
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