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Old 02-22-2008, 12:24 PM
 
Location: Oz
2,238 posts, read 8,697,610 times
Reputation: 1368

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I had mine at 18 and 20. Add to that the fact that I have consistently looked a lot younger than my actual age for most of my life, and people have questioned me all the time about my age when I had my kids.

Even now, when my daughter and I go out together people don't believe us when we say we're mother and daughter. I'm always perceived as the older sister. I can't say that I necessarily mind that now, but when I was 18 and carrying a baby in my arms, even that many years ago I got "the look" as if I'd done something wrong.
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Old 02-22-2008, 01:06 PM
 
Location: Dallas, NC
1,703 posts, read 3,452,675 times
Reputation: 807
I didn't have my son young (I was 28) but just wanted to say to all of you on this thread how AMAZING it is that you have all apparently succeeded despite the odds! I can't imagine having had a child at 18 or 19! I was 19 when my niece was born and people used to ask if she was mine b/c she looked like me and I was like Lord no!! LOL! I couldn't have done it so my hat is off to all of you have done it so well!
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Old 02-22-2008, 01:12 PM
 
2,838 posts, read 8,844,735 times
Reputation: 2857
Nah, it's none of their business. I was 22 and 25 when my kids were born, and I got dirty looks too (I guess I looked young). Oh well for them, LOL. My kids are awesome and we're doing great, even though I was not in the workforce for 10+ years first. What on earth does one thing have to do with another?
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Old 02-23-2008, 01:08 AM
 
Location: California
3,432 posts, read 2,158,301 times
Reputation: 138
Quote:
Originally Posted by jesslo View Post
I am 26 years old and have a 9 and 8 year old. Yes, if you do the math, I was 17 and 18 years old. I have noticed lately more and more people seem to give me a judging "look" when they see me with my children, and I have been getting more comments such as "How OLD were you?", or "Man, what is the deal with all you young girls laying around popping out babies everywhere?".
Perhaps it is because I often am mistaken for being 18 or 19 years old, as I do look very young, but I was wondering if anybody else gets comments such as these? Both of my children have the same father, we were together for 8 years and were at one time married. I know a lot of people say that young girls are irresponsible and stupid, but what about being human? We all make mistakes and sometimes there are harsh consequences because of them. Did I make a mistake by having kids at a young age? Maybe, but I now have two beautiful human beings that are well adjusted and well taken care of, and I would not have it any other way. I was just wondering if I could get some opinions on why people seem to be so judgemental when it is really none of their business, or is it just the people around here in the area that I live?

My mom is 36.. I am almost 18. People ask me if she's my sister . I also have another brother who's almost 16 and another one who's turning 10 next week.
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Old 02-23-2008, 07:02 AM
 
Location: NoVa
18,434 posts, read 28,526,733 times
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My son was born when I was twenty, and my daughter, twenty two. I would not change it for the world....
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Old 02-23-2008, 09:08 AM
 
Location: bumcrack Nebraska
438 posts, read 1,360,597 times
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I'll be 28 in three months and I have a 7 1/2 yo (the half being very important), an almost 5 yo, and a 9 month old. I wouldn't change it for anything. I don't think I'd be a better parent if I would have waited.

I think women who have children after they've had a career parent in a way I don't completely agree with. It seems as though they approach parenting as a business project. They research everything, implement a plan of action, and measure results. While that may be fine for them and their kids, it doesn't work for me.

I've noticed that other younger parents tend to parent more from the heart, at least I do. I go on instinct. My kids are not my projects, they're little people who will one day go out on their own. I have to prepare them for the real world, and I feel that since I had them young and have struggled with issues older parents have never faced I am better able to prepare them for real life. I also remember what its like to be a kid. I know how my kids feel because not that long ago I felt the same way.
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Old 02-23-2008, 09:13 AM
 
Location: bumcrack Nebraska
438 posts, read 1,360,597 times
Reputation: 421
Quote:
Originally Posted by beanandpumpkin View Post
Nah, it's none of their business. I was 22 and 25 when my kids were born, and I got dirty looks too (I guess I looked young). Oh well for them, LOL. My kids are awesome and we're doing great, even though I was not in the workforce for 10+ years first. What on earth does one thing have to do with another?
I agree. What does your job have anything to do with being a parent? Unless you were a nanny for 10 years, nothing! As for dirty looks, just last week my husband and I went to dinner with our kids. The waitress said "Wow, you look too young to have these kids!". What does that mean? Are you implying I went out and got knocked up? Maybe because we're young parents we beat our kids and smoke our crack with them? Yes, I know you think I'm too young to have children, but please keep that to yourself and I won't feel compelled to inform you that I think you're too old to be wearing that shade of eyeshadow!
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Old 02-23-2008, 02:21 PM
 
1,067 posts, read 5,033,196 times
Reputation: 543
I had my daughter at 26, I lacked one month being 27. I remember getting stares at church and finally the pastor had to tell them my age. I had no idea about that till he told me that and then I understood why I was getting those stares. They thought I was 15.

About last year, I went to get my daughter's hair done and the hair dresser asked me me in a strange way what my age was. She then told me I looked very young.. well I am very short so that does make me look young... but look close I got gray hair. LOL.

Hey just let it roll off your shoulders. If you are taking care of your little bits and loving them, that is all that matters.

Don't let what others say to you affect you about your age.. you are right we are all human... sometimes we do things earlier than some.. Hey here's a positive, you are young!
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Old 02-23-2008, 02:42 PM
 
2 posts, read 10,415 times
Reputation: 10
This is an old blog, but I wanted to comment as well, since I've had the same encounters. I'm 23 years old and my son will be 3 soon. Yes, I got pregnant at 19 and had him at 20. His Father and I only lasted a year after I had him (a grand total of 3). I'm a lot better off without him. I don't take hand outs, I don't ask him or the state for any compensation because I decided, on my own free will, that I wanted to be a Mother. I didn't go out there looking to get knocked up, I was 19! I hadn't ever planned on being a parent. I thought maybe if I'm 26 or so. I get those looks "Wow, she looks young." I was at the grocery store the other day and I saw an old friend from high school, he asked me "Is this your little brother?" Very funny. I just said "No, this is beautiful son, Preston. Say hi, Preston." I AM young and enjoying every bit of it. Of course I work very hard to give my son the best life he could ever have. And you know what? I'm doing a hell of a lot better than some of the 30 year old new mothers I've seen out there. Why? Because I have the time and energy to do so and I haven't forgotten how to love. I'm not 30 discovering that I have some sort of cancer or some genetic disease. I'm healthy, young and fit. My son and I are the best of friends and I wouldn't change that for the world! So if anyone gives you a look, just give em one back!
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Old 02-23-2008, 07:18 PM
 
Location: home
180 posts, read 550,065 times
Reputation: 115
my sister had her first kid when she was 16 and now at 22 she has 3. she looks like she is 12. I had my first kid at 27 and now when she and i take our kids out together people look at me and ask how old i was when i started having kids and why i didnt stop after the oldest one ( my sister). It is mostly old people that ask this and they usually shut up when i respond that i kept having them one after another to make their " daddys" happy. My sister is very offended that people think she is a little kid and that I am her and her childrens mother. Personally I think it is kinda funny.
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