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Old 03-01-2008, 06:26 AM
 
2,015 posts, read 4,555,889 times
Reputation: 1861

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jesslo View Post
I am 26 years old and have a 9 and 8 year old. Yes, if you do the math, I was 17 and 18 years old. I have noticed lately more and more people seem to give me a judging "look" when they see me with my children, and I have been getting more comments such as "How OLD were you?", or "Man, what is the deal with all you young girls laying around popping out babies everywhere?".
Perhaps it is because I often am mistaken for being 18 or 19 years old, as I do look very young, but I was wondering if anybody else gets comments such as these? Both of my children have the same father, we were together for 8 years and were at one time married. I know a lot of people say that young girls are irresponsible and stupid, but what about being human? We all make mistakes and sometimes there are harsh consequences because of them. Did I make a mistake by having kids at a young age? Maybe, but I now have two beautiful human beings that are well adjusted and well taken care of, and I would not have it any other way. I was just wondering if I could get some opinions on why people seem to be so judgemental when it is really none of their business, or is it just the people around here in the area that I live?
I'm 45 years old and will tell you that I want you NOT to spend your 20's and 30's worrying about what other people think. One thing I learned is that you have the ability to control your happiness by focusing on the positive, like your two beautiful children. People are always going to be making observations; focus on the positive ones and let the negative ones out as soon as you hear it. Your children are your gifts and you must not let others take that away from you. Wishing you the best.

P.S. - All the explanations about your age, your status, etc. are not necessary. You are not here to represent all people, all young people, you are here to represent yourself. Be happy and joyful and let others think what they want to think. Most likely, if you are happy, joyful, and grateful, good things will continue to come your way.
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Old 03-01-2008, 07:53 AM
 
Location: Ostend,Belgium....
8,743 posts, read 6,186,878 times
Reputation: 4859
Well said Donna7, I had my son when I was 18 and looked younger than my age so people thought he was my little brother, that's very flattering in a way but when I told them no he's my son, the looks I got changed but I started to get used to it after some time. I figured hey what's it to them? I was just as good a mother as someone in their 30's or 40's, we all have to live and learn no matter how old we are when we have our children.
Society just loves to tell everyone how to live.
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Old 03-02-2008, 04:23 PM
 
Location: Central Connecticut & North Port,Fl.
425 posts, read 960,162 times
Reputation: 142
Default babys at an early age

my daughter is due the 15th of this month with my first grandaughter,she got pregnant at 18 and I was very angry at first, she had been with the boy less than 2 months,but everything happens for a reason, The father is 22 and very excited about becomming a father, he works full time, and adores my daughter, my daughter has taken very good care of herself and just because she is young, she just turned 19, doesnt mean she wont be a good mother,I tried the best I could raising mine, and they turned out well and she has me, and Kyles mom right here for anything that they will need.
We are excited about being grandparents,and know what a Tough job it is to raise children.I have 2 other grandaughters that are 8 and 5 1/2,we love them to peices, even though my stepdaughter hasnt done very well doing the raising of these girls, they live mostly with there dad,but we are the only grandparents they know, its called unconditonal love

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Old 03-03-2008, 10:18 PM
 
1,670 posts, read 5,704,644 times
Reputation: 1178
I don't judge young mothers, as a society we have to help them. Everything that has been created is for a great cause. Just to let you know that today you are loved by me. I see this happen even in church, the congregation shun them. I personally take a seat and show them that they are loved and no one should be judging them. Know that you are loved and care for your children, in time, all will pass.
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Old 03-03-2008, 11:07 PM
 
Location: The most unpredictible weather state.
566 posts, read 544,596 times
Reputation: 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by jesslo View Post
I am 26 years old and have a 9 and 8 year old. Yes, if you do the math, I was 17 and 18 years old. I have noticed lately more and more people seem to give me a judging "look" when they see me with my children, and I have been getting more comments such as "How OLD were you?", or "Man, what is the deal with all you young girls laying around popping out babies everywhere?".
Perhaps it is because I often am mistaken for being 18 or 19 years old, as I do look very young, but I was wondering if anybody else gets comments such as these? Both of my children have the same father, we were together for 8 years and were at one time married. I know a lot of people say that young girls are irresponsible and stupid, but what about being human? We all make mistakes and sometimes there are harsh consequences because of them. Did I make a mistake by having kids at a young age? Maybe, but I now have two beautiful human beings that are well adjusted and well taken care of, and I would not have it any other way. I was just wondering if I could get some opinions on why people seem to be so judgemental when it is really none of their business, or is it just the people around here in the area that I live?
2 of my very dear friends had their first children when they were under 20. I'm going to tell you something, other than my own mother, they are the most wonderful mothers I know.

A mother is a mother...regardless of how old she was when she gave birth. And there is nothing more special than having a child. Don't let other peoples looks or comments get you down.
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Old 03-04-2008, 02:49 AM
 
Location: Lehigh Valley
1,030 posts, read 3,803,911 times
Reputation: 426
Sadly, there are always going to be rude people who don't know when to keep their mouths shut - we can't change that. However, you can change the way you react to them. Don't let them make you feel bad about having your children young. As long as you are the best parent you can be, that's all anyone can ask.
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Old 03-04-2008, 08:40 AM
 
116 posts, read 403,827 times
Reputation: 49
I look really young for my age and have teenagers and get that sometime. I was 21 when I had my first child. I was at work with my son one time and one lady couldn't believe he was my son, she thought I was in my early 20's.
I say who cares what people think! And even though you had your kids real young I am sure you are doing fine. There are lots of worse things for people to worry about.
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Old 03-04-2008, 10:31 AM
 
Location: Denver, Colorado U.S.A.
14,174 posts, read 22,548,774 times
Reputation: 10428
Quote:
Originally Posted by michelleleigh View Post
I feel the same way I think i work harder to keep myself looking and feeling younger because i had my son at 31 and i will have our 2nd at 36, My owne Mother has made rude coments about my age and having kids. Good luck with the new babies, and you get use to the sleep depervation I dont think i havve had more than 6 hours a night in the last 4 years but they have been happy 4 years
Thanks! One nice thing, in our neighborhood, there are many older parents. Actually, not many in their 20s. There are many multiples too because so many people waited so late, they had to do fertility treatments. So at least we won't feel like the freak parents on the block or in the school.
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Old 03-04-2008, 10:45 AM
 
Location: bumcrack Nebraska
438 posts, read 1,362,212 times
Reputation: 421
Quote:
Originally Posted by denverian View Post
Thanks! One nice thing, in our neighborhood, there are many older parents. Actually, not many in their 20s. There are many multiples too because so many people waited so late, they had to do fertility treatments. So at least we won't feel like the freak parents on the block or in the school.
I feel like the freak parent because I had my kids at an early age. When I go to school functions I'm almost always the youngest parent there. I guess it just depends on where you live.
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Old 03-04-2008, 11:49 AM
 
Location: Bay Area
2,406 posts, read 6,810,465 times
Reputation: 1843
Yes, my daughter goes to a private school and most of the parents are much older. The thing is my husband and I are both successful and its not a matter of that, its just I look 5-10 years younger than my age, so about 20 years younger than many (not all) of the other moms.

Yes, I get stared at by the moms, but its just jealousy and my husband and I are amused. Really who cares?! Who wouldn't rather look young as opposed to old?

And the rude comments, just laugh them off. Its usually due to jealousy, spite or something wrong with THEM NOT YOU.
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