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Old 03-04-2008, 11:55 AM
 
3,647 posts, read 9,309,275 times
Reputation: 5427

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I don't think anyone should butt in to your business, but I also don't like the way society is so accepting of teen moms these days.

My 34 year old cousin is about to become a grandma. How exciting... of course neither her son or his 15 yo gf have a job or HS diploma. (Though the PUBLIC, TAXPAYER PROVIDED school system will provide daycare for her child for her last 2 1/2 years of high school). She's 7 months along... and they won't just accept "any job". He needs one that will pay "at least $18 an hour. lol Meanwhile, they sit around the house bitching about what jerks his and her parents and grandparents are. They won't pay for them to have their own apartment! Imagine... so horrible of them! They'll be living off their parents for years while claiming to raise their own children. It's how his mom did it until he was 11... and the cycle repeats.

I think it's fine if you have kids at a young age... as long as YOU are the one taking care of them, not your parents. Taking care of kids means more than changing diapers...it's also about providing the money for those diapers and the roof over their heads. For the most part, our parents and others before them had kids young... but they didn't expect family or taxpayer to pay for their upbringing.

Last edited by sskkc; 03-04-2008 at 11:58 AM.. Reason: adding
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Old 03-04-2008, 03:03 PM
 
1,623 posts, read 5,754,769 times
Reputation: 438
If you make one mistake, you get a pass...when you have more than one kid at that age, people question your intelligence, state of mind, etc...then if you say it didn't work out with your husband, they feel justified in prejudging you...If you never married the guy, yet another ding against your character.

I'm not gonna lie, your stats work against you, but if you present yourself well and have a good attitude, none of that crap matters...just make sure your kids don't do the same thing...my schoolmate was pregnant at 16 and a "granny" as she called it, at 36...sorry, but that's nothing to be proud of as it speaks to a vicious cycle of lives unfulfilled and destinies denied.
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Old 03-05-2008, 01:39 PM
 
Location: The #1 sunshine state, Arizona.
12,172 posts, read 15,009,413 times
Reputation: 64014
Quote:
Originally Posted by faina00 View Post
Yes, my daughter goes to a private school and most of the parents are much older. The thing is my husband and I are both successful and its not a matter of that, its just I look 5-10 years younger than my age, so about 20 years younger than many (not all) of the other moms.

Yes, I get stared at by the moms, but its just jealousy and my husband and I are amused. Really who cares?! Who wouldn't rather look young as opposed to old?

And the rude comments, just laugh them off. Its usually due to jealousy, spite or something wrong with THEM NOT YOU.
What kind of rude comments would people make?
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Old 03-05-2008, 01:45 PM
 
Location: Bay Area
2,406 posts, read 6,798,499 times
Reputation: 1843
Quote:
Originally Posted by zonababe View Post
What kind of rude comments would people make?

No, I don't get any rude comments. The original post had stated that she receives rude comments. If you read the first post, it is quite alarming that people would treat others that way.
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Old 03-05-2008, 02:18 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX
2,707 posts, read 4,652,085 times
Reputation: 2168
I was 18 when I had my son.
He is now 14 and people still ask if I am his sister.
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Old 03-05-2008, 07:40 PM
 
730 posts, read 1,970,197 times
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I became a mom at 19, married the father and had my second at 23. I admit that it presented SO many challenges and there were so many things I should have done first. However, now that my children are 10 and 6 I see there are some positives to this situation. My friends are just now having their first children and when I listen to them fret about diapers, breastfeeding, potty training, etc... I can just smile and think "wow, I'm glad I got that out of the way already". Also I enjoy the fact that I have been young enough to romp, run, and play with my children and I will still be fairly young and active when they leave the house. I will say that I was so young that my children helped me grow up just as much as I helped them.
For the most part I don't get rude comments when people see me with them. Either I don't look THAT young, or there are so many people in the same boat that they can't judge.
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Old 03-07-2008, 05:35 PM
 
2,222 posts, read 9,140,928 times
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I became a mother when I was 22. I never really got any looks or comments until I was in my 50's. It's the strangest thing. When my son and I are together, people will look at us and then tell me, "You are so young to be his mother", or people will think we are married. And when my grandson is with me, like at the beach, I get comments like, "Oh, I remember when my kids were that young." And these ladies look close to my age. I can't possibly look that young. But if I do, my momma gave me some good genes. Bless her heart.

But I do get embarrassed about it. My son (32) and I (55) just look at each other in astonishment. We laugh, and then shrug it off.

...

Last edited by Beth56; 03-07-2008 at 05:45 PM..
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Old 03-09-2008, 01:12 AM
 
Location: Arizona
1,008 posts, read 2,625,226 times
Reputation: 364
Quote:
Originally Posted by orrmobl View Post
If you make one mistake, you get a pass...when you have more than one kid at that age, people question your intelligence, state of mind, etc...then if you say it didn't work out with your husband, they feel justified in prejudging you...If you never married the guy, yet another ding against your character.

I'm not gonna lie, your stats work against you, but if you present yourself well and have a good attitude, none of that crap matters...just make sure your kids don't do the same thing...my schoolmate was pregnant at 16 and a "granny" as she called it, at 36...sorry, but that's nothing to be proud of as it speaks to a vicious cycle of lives unfulfilled and destinies denied.
So this is my worst nightmare. At 36, I'll have an 18 yr old and two 17 yr olds. If any of them make me a grandma before I turn 40...well let's just say we're going to have problems. Mostly because they will be too young to have kids and I don't want them to end up like me. My life is not horrible, but it's no picnic either.

One funny thing... I never married the guy and I've always said that was the one mistake I never made! I consider it a positive given the personality/status/position in life, etc of the guy. Certainly not a ding!

Also, I go shopping once in a great while with my mom and my kids. People have often mistaken my kids for my sisters and I'm fine with that. LOL
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Old 03-25-2008, 06:19 PM
Status: "Summer, please don't leave!" (set 8 days ago)
 
Location: Asheville, NC
11,472 posts, read 25,701,761 times
Reputation: 4206
Don't worry about it, I used to get it all the time! I looked younger too. I'm now 36 and my kids are 17 and 14. No I don't regret it either. They were both planned. They have the same father. We've been together 19 years, married 16. The only thing I would have done differently is waited until I was 23 to have my first child. I'm glad I'm still young and can keep up with them and do things with them.
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Old 10-01-2008, 07:39 PM
 
1 posts, read 1,257 times
Reputation: 10
my mother had me when she was older,im going to be 18 and shes going on 62..its hard on both of us,me & her are extremly close.Altough 95% of the time im the one taking care of her,making sure the house is clean,making dinner,taking her to the doctor & making sure shes had all of her medicine & her insulin and on top of that im a senior in highschool,so i have school to worry about.i guess it just depends on the kind of lifestyle you live,if you enjoy partying then having a kid young isnt for you.
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