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You are definately the type of woman I wouldnt ever want to be married to! lol
Good for you Bette to understand the critical times of your husbands job and supporting him! (hopefully he takes you out sometime later though)
My family doesn't care what the date of a holiday or birthday is, we celebrate the occasion when we are together as a family, that to us is more important than the actual date. I have celebrated christmas in February and my Oct bday in Nov because that is when we could be together.
I would never be upset with a family member or spouse that was only doing their jobs and had to postone a date night/anniversary or birthday celebration.
Why not?
You and I think basically the same.
Birthdays and anniversaries are HUGE in our family.
and we have celebrated occasion on alternative dates when necessary, just as you have...
But the OP's husband has NEVER done that. They have NEVER celebrated her birthday together.
OP --- "My husband and I have never been able to celebrate and I knew this going into our relationship"
Curious as to what about that makes me "unmarry-able"...
We did speak to our daughter; she was busy and was thinking it was this week.
Our anniversary is right around the corner so we will celebrate then. It's fine, just not hearing from her was a little disappointing.
In our family (parents, cousins, sibs, etc), birthdays and holidays are huge and we used to celebrate each one. Since my dad died, though, not as much. He loved it and was the true patriach - if he wanted something to happen, it happened (like the get together stuff) and we loved it.
There are 2 days, though, in a CPA's life, that they are truly buried - April
15th and October 15th - we laughed at it - the irony of having the same birthday and then on tax extension day. In all fairness, we can't really celebrate HIS either. (One of these years, though, I am going to surprise him the day after!).
Thanks again for all the nice comments and I feel better now. I get very sentimental on that day!
Don't make a huge deal, this is the 1st time.
I'd just call and say in a pitiful but joking voice, 'you forgot our birthdays...'
I forgot my dad's bday this past september, I never forget his bday. I was shocked at myself, and quickly sent him a belated card, a week later!
It was an innocent mistake on my part.
Be humble and kind and don't say or do anything that could potentially damage in any way, your and hubby's relationship with her!
Good luck!
edited to add: I just read your post that it's been resolved! great news.
I am terrible about remembering birthdays. I hope that doesn't make me a bad person.
This thread is making me laugh. My 19-year-old son doesn't even KNOW when my birthday is! Why? Because his dad and I split up when he was young. I always reminded him of his dad's birthday so he could get him a card, but ex didn't do the same. What was I supposed to do, say to a 5-year-old, "It's Mommy's birthday next Friday, and you should make me a card"? I don't demand things from people. If they're aren't given freely, or are given out of guilt or obligation, they're not worth much.
I get two cards a year, one from my brother and one from my oldest friend. I don't make a big deal out of displaying them, so my son has never had my birthday reinforced by seeing other people pay attention to it.
Quit making such a big deal out of it, and you won't be hurt. My kid knows when Christmas is and I do get booty then.
My brother in law is similar in age and is basicly doing the same thing to his parents. He hardly calls, comes over, etc..unless there is something in it for him (free meal). If I were you I'd definitely say something but don't make a huge deal out of it, because she'll return soon enough. It's a selfish phase a lot of people go through. In my BIL case, his father is very overbearing, and the more they chide him for it, the more he stays away.
Last edited by floridadreamer; 10-22-2009 at 03:43 PM..
Honetsly, I don't think that the daughter is or was being self centered. She most likely was busy or had some confusion of some sort going on at that time that caused her to forget.
I personally do not think that a child should have to always remember their parents' b-days, afterall they didn't give birth to their parents. However a parent should never forget their child/ren's b-days, unless they have gotten really old and have no memory left, as that was a blessed day for them. The parents are the ones who chose to have a child not the other way around.
The OP and their spouse should not stop making such a big thing about their daughter's b-day just because she forgot theirs, like I said it's not her responsibility to remember. Maybe they don't have to make such a big deal about her b-day, but that is what they have chosen to do all these years and it would be wrong of them to just suddenly stop just because their feelings were a little hurt.
BTW: I don't think kids should have to remember their parent's anniversaries either. That is a date that each parent should remember as that is their special date. If the kids remember and do something special for it then that is a little something extra.
Granted kids would not be here on this planet without their parents but that is not by their choice.
Agreed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toxic Toast
It does. Any time a "friend" of mine forgets my birthday, I immediatly black list them from my friends list and most importantly, revoke their friend status on Facebook. Sometimes, I will even leave a comment informing them that "due to your selfish and ungrateful ways, we can no longer be friends. Thank you for your X years of service and have a nice life."
This made me LOL!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette
I usually don't make a big deal on my/our birthdays. But, it's been a challenging couple of years for my husband and he has no sibs, so, for him, I feel sad. (Our son greeted us with cards, beautifully chosen, I might add, and a gift certificate to a very nice restaurant that he had to go to and get it done. He is 20 and goes to school and works hard for his $$).
But, all my relatives are like, so, did you hear from xxx? What do she send you? That kind of thing and I never have ever asked or admitted I wanted something.
I did just check on her and she's OK - just forgot it.
My husband and I have never been able to celebrate and I knew this going into our relationship. He is a CPA so April 15th and October 15th are the most important days in the accounting/tax industry. So, October 15th was yesterday.
Thanks to all - you made me feel better!!!!
I bet one of the reasons she forgot is because your birthdays usually are not celebrated as they are so part of tax time. If your birthdays fell on June 15, you'd probably have more years of parties, dinners, etc and she'd have a much easier time remembering.
Glad to hear all is resolved.
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Update - thanks for your comments!
