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Old 05-09-2007, 03:57 PM
 
Location: Miami, FL
15 posts, read 67,576 times
Reputation: 22

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I have taught my girls not to ask, period, occasionally I will offer them to pick something out that they want. Sometimes I will ask them while I make my list of what I need for the week, I'll ask them if there's anything that they may need/or want for snacks. It works for us, they stay under control with the "I wants" and all I have to deal with is Mom, she pushed me... No she pushed me first.... I never said they were perfect, or ever will be....... LOL
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Old 05-09-2007, 06:16 PM
 
1,703 posts, read 4,624,082 times
Reputation: 1093
Thank you for the replies. I appreciate the help. He's actually really quite good at the grocery store I was more wondering about eating. Is it ok to say "You can have a piece of candy if you eat all your sandwich"?
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Old 05-09-2007, 06:49 PM
 
Location: NW Atlanta
1,372 posts, read 4,756,548 times
Reputation: 419
sure just reward good behavior not bad
trust me I have 4 children been through ALL of it
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Old 05-09-2007, 10:23 PM
 
Location: Happiness is found inside your smile :)
3,178 posts, read 13,168,876 times
Reputation: 1256
My goodness you don't reward bad behavios and DEFINATELY NOT with Candy!

"If you behave yourself today - we can read an extra story tonight!"

Then we ha starts to act up - talk about what kind of story he would like - let him get excited about his reward and he will be more aware of his behavior
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Old 05-09-2007, 11:40 PM
 
Location: A Valley in Oregon
610 posts, read 2,914,179 times
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I have some good news.
The boy is most probably listening!

You will be surprised when the things you say now, he will repeat back to you before too long.

Talk as you would normally. Expect almost nothing in response. Don't become frustrated or mean or nagging.
He hears you ... provided his hearing is fine.
He's only three. Lower your expectations - he's not capable of adult behavior yet ... and he barely knows what behavior is.
Keep your cool ... and the positive reinforcement program will work out for you later ... you'll see.
Love,
Grandpa
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Old 05-09-2007, 11:49 PM
 
743 posts, read 2,038,546 times
Reputation: 236
Getting your children to obey you.....now that's something, three kids later, I'm still trying to figure out.

In a nutshell....(from my experience)....girls are easier than boys; you can attract more bees w/ honey than w/ vinegaer; pray, pray, pray and have a few drinks on the side...lol.
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Old 05-10-2007, 01:51 PM
 
1,703 posts, read 4,624,082 times
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Thanks Gramps, bethann, dncgrl and citygrl. Oh I know he definately hears me! He's just stubborn. I know it's a bad idea to reward bad behavior and I don't do that. I think a lot of it is attention getting cause I do have a bad habit of getting to frustrated!
Ok just one more question: (well....today that is...lol)
So when its nap time and I'm trying to get him to pick up his toys how long should I give him before I do it myself? I mean he HAS to have his nap so I can't wait forever and I don't want him to get in the habit of thinking ok if I take long enough, mom'll just do it. Thanks for all the advice.
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Old 05-10-2007, 02:17 PM
 
Location: Happiness is found inside your smile :)
3,178 posts, read 13,168,876 times
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Is there something in picking up his toys for him? A snuggle time? A book?

YOu can either make cleaning up the toys into a game (and of course they will never pick up the toys as well as us)

Or you can do what my mom did - and get out an egg timer - and say "Toys need to be clean by the time this goes off or the toys are going on vacation" And then stand by your word and pack them away. He'll scream - but it gets the point across.

One is positive reinforcement - one is negative reinforcement

NEITHER had candy or bribes.
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Old 05-10-2007, 05:00 PM
 
1,703 posts, read 4,624,082 times
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Ya he get mom or dad to read him a book on his bed before his nap or bedtime if he cleans up. I tried to make if fun but he just screams. He used to do it a little better but now when I even say clean up he freaks! Usually I just go start and hope he joins in.
The bribes I was really only thinking of for when he eats. Like is it ok to say you can have a piece of candy for desert if you eat your....whatever.
Thanks for the advice
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Old 05-10-2007, 05:33 PM
 
Location: Happiness is found inside your smile :)
3,178 posts, read 13,168,876 times
Reputation: 1256
I use dessert a different way

If you say "Eat your sandwich and you get candy" that gives him the control

If you say it "You have to eat all your dinner or NO dessert" - which is what we say - then you have the control.

The part "you get candy" is a bribe. And it will backfire
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