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Old 05-08-2007, 01:44 PM
 
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I have a three year old son and he really is good at following orders (when he want to!!) He is very stubborn sometimes. The question I have is how do I get him to be obedient when I ask him to do something simple? I put him in time out for big things like hitting his sister but I don't wanna do that every single time I ask him something and he doesn't listen. And I know repeating what you said louder and louder doesn't do any good (believe me I've been there
P.S This may be a bit redundant from what I've asked before but repetition is good maybe after two or three times it'll sink in
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Old 05-08-2007, 02:01 PM
 
Location: Happiness is found inside your smile :)
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Have you tried positive reinforcement

Like a star sticker chart - when you do enough good things and get a star - you get to pick (an already specified prize)

LIttle things as rewards. Good behavior happens more often when it's rewarded - it's positive attention.

With the yelling you are still giving attention - which is what your son is searching for
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Old 05-08-2007, 02:29 PM
 
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That's a good idea, thanks CityGirl
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Old 05-08-2007, 08:17 PM
 
Location: Hollywood/Brookfield, IL
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Try explaining why he needs to do whatever you're asking him to do. For example, you ask him not to throw toys because it might hurt someone. This works well with my kids since the reason I'm usually asking them to do/not do something is because I don't want them to get hurt. They don't want to get hurt either. If it's something without a child-friendly explanation, like cleaning up toys, don't let him do anything else until the toys are put away.
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Old 05-08-2007, 08:47 PM
 
Location: NW Atlanta
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have you had his hearing tested
maybe he truly cannot hear you
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Old 05-08-2007, 08:54 PM
 
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Thanks for the advice Kirsten. Dncngrl, thanks for the thought but its definately not that. We've been down that road with a wayyyy over concerned pediatrician. Long story. Anyways like I said he follows a lot of directions I give him really well. He's just super stubborn sometimes like if I ask him to pick up or put away something he's thrown or something like that.
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Old 05-09-2007, 07:21 AM
 
Location: NW Atlanta
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I have races with my son you do this while I do this let's see who wins

or another good one is let's see how long it takes you to put on your PJ's
I bet you are really fast
ready set go 1,,,,2,,,,3,,,,4
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Old 05-09-2007, 07:40 AM
 
Location: Miami, FL
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Default three year old boys and girls

I have two girls, the first born seemed like a breeze, perfect child. The second one, I got lots of gray hair trying to figure out the same problem you have. What FINALLY!!!! worked for me was positive reinforcement. I did a lot of reading on Neurolinguistics and realized different people, yes even little people learn in different ways. Such as visually, auditory, emotional. Try them all, one at a time and figure out what is your son's method of learning. I think you will be pleasantly surprised. I have suggested this as well to some of my friends with similar issues and they have had incredible results in their day to day routine and especially in the change for the better that their kids have had. So, just tune into him, not all kids are the same.
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Old 05-09-2007, 12:45 PM
 
1,703 posts, read 4,624,082 times
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Question Bribes or rewards

I've heard that if you're in a supermarket and your child is being unruly and you give him a candy or whatever to quiet him down its a bribe but if you say beforehand "if you're a good boy i'll get you this or that" its a reward for good behavior.
Is it wrong to say "if you eat all your....you can have a candy?" to try to get them to eat whatever? or say "if you don't eat all your dinner you don't get dessert"? If he/she does this they get that. What's the difference between a reward and a bribe? and are bribes wrong? Any Advice.
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Old 05-09-2007, 12:50 PM
 
Location: NW Atlanta
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dreameyes View Post
I've heard that if you're in a supermarket and your child is being unruly and you give him a candy or whatever to quiet him down its a bribe but if you say beforehand "if you're a good boy i'll get you this or that" its a reward for good behavior.
Is it wrong to say "if you eat all your....you can have a candy?" to try to get them to eat whatever? or say "if you don't eat all your dinner you don't get dessert"? If he/she does this they get that. What's the difference between a reward and a bribe? and are bribes wrong? Any Advice.
to make it in simplest term
DO NOT REWARD BAD BEHAVIOR
if you give them candy to quiet them the next time they want candy....guess what??????

Rewards are for good behavior

"Now we are going to go into this store if you are a good boy MAYBE I will get you a prize"
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