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Old 05-10-2007, 02:08 PM
 
Location: Vancouver, Canada
550 posts, read 2,541,802 times
Reputation: 524

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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaimounaKande View Post
btw, I really think anyone who thinks they are in the loop with their teens' sex decisions are fooling themselves. They may well be having sex, but know better than to tell you. Or not. Just make sure they know about contraception in case you're wrong.
I know he probably isn't telling me everything, I do have faith in him being honest though. He tells me a lot of things that I know other parents don't hear from their kids. Maybe it was because I grew up in a VERY open minded, constantly communicating type family. I have rubbed it off on my son. I told him all he has to do is say "now mom" and I will know that I need to buy him condoms. I do trust him to tell me that. I will ask no questions and will never look to see if any are gone.

Raising a teen for the first time is HARD!! I feel better knowing I will be much more knowledgeable for my 2 other boys.
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Old 05-11-2007, 07:36 AM
 
Location: The Raider Nation._ Our band kicks brass
1,854 posts, read 8,525,489 times
Reputation: 2302
Quote:
Originally Posted by jkmewright View Post
"Pornography fosters a demeaning attitude towards women by depicting females as insatiable playthings, an attitude that has been correlated with incidents of sexual abuse and rape. Pornography also creates the expectation in teenage males that women's bodies should look like the air-brushed and surgically enhanced versions in the movies, an expectation that can lead to condemnation and rejection of girls fighting this impossible standard. The act of sex itself through pornography is dehumanized and desensitized, and teens may have a hard time discovering real intimacy when raised on this dysfunctional and destructive model."

I have known a person who was addicted to porn and find the above paragraph to be so true. This began in his teenage years and continued into his adulthood. It all started w/his father's magazines and went from there. The addiction is like any other, it alienates and ruins lives. To this day this man is unable to maintain a healthy and loving relationship. As a matter of fact this addiction has ruined his work and personal life yet he is in complete denial. Just like any other addict. Porn is a strong and dangerous drug for some. Not to say your son has an addictive personality but if I were you, I would not take the chance.
I would submit that the porn addict you know has an addictive personality. They are the kind of people that take everything to an extreme. He could be addicted to booze, drugs, religion, or NASCAR. I know a few drunks that became hardcore religious zealots. They were not cured, they just changed their addiction. You say the porn ruined him. I say his personality ruined him. Moderation is the key to life.

Skoe
You seem like a reasonable person. Your son trusted your judgement enough to not hide the box. You should now trust your own judgement too, not internet strangers.

Most of the people here probably think that your husband hid those magazines from you, and that you should be disgusted.

I think that you always knew about them, maybe bought your husband a subscription at one time, and even enjoyed reading them yourself once in a while. You know that there is nothing wrong with a Playboy or Penthouse. You and your husband turned out just fine. My suggestion would be to turn the box over to your husband and let him make the decision on what to do with it. This might be one of the few times that mom shouldn't be seen as being so hip. Even though she is secretly the one in charge.

My teenage daughters come home from school everyday, and tell us about their friends. I can't believe how naive 18 year old girls are about their bodies, how the world works, and life in general. The worst ones are superprotected by their ultrareligious parents, that hide everything from their kids. Those poor kids have NO decision making abilities at all. When they are older, they are the ones that will falter in life.

Kids only become fixated on something when their parents turn it into a big deal, or taboo that should never be talked about. Guns, booze, sex, parties, or anything else. There is no big fascination unless it's hidden away or banned.
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Old 05-11-2007, 07:40 AM
 
Location: Pikeville, Ky.
13,459 posts, read 21,205,608 times
Reputation: 17675
I found a box of them in an attic of a house we had just purchased. I set them out on trash day. The collectors looked through a few, then put the box in the truck cab.
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Old 05-11-2007, 10:11 AM
 
Location: NW Atlanta
1,372 posts, read 4,757,117 times
Reputation: 419
I agree with what you said about the "boobie bon fire"

my husband laughed and asked if you could send them here
I told him we already had enough wood for a bon fire
I think he got the message
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Old 05-11-2007, 12:58 PM
 
Location: Chattanooga TN
2,349 posts, read 9,496,856 times
Reputation: 1197
Default Addictions

Quote:
Originally Posted by South Range Family View Post
I would submit that the porn addict you know has an addictive personality. They are the kind of people that take everything to an extreme. He could be addicted to booze, drugs, religion, or NASCAR. I know a few drunks that became hardcore religious zealots. They were not cured, they just changed their addiction. You say the porn ruined him. I say his personality ruined him. Moderation is the key to life.

I completely agree w/you on this one. That's why I added "Not to say your son has an addictive personality" but thank you for clarifying for other posters. Yes, this man has many more addictions than this one but we will not go into this here as I have to leave work in 2 hours lol

Last edited by jkmewright; 05-11-2007 at 01:43 PM..
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Old 05-13-2007, 10:51 PM
 
Location: Vancouver, Canada
550 posts, read 2,541,802 times
Reputation: 524
Quote:
Originally Posted by South Range Family View Post
I would submit that the porn addict you know has an addictive personality. They are the kind of people that take everything to an extreme. He could be addicted to booze, drugs, religion, or NASCAR. I know a few drunks that became hardcore religious zealots. They were not cured, they just changed their addiction. You say the porn ruined him. I say his personality ruined him. Moderation is the key to life.

Skoe
You seem like a reasonable person. Your son trusted your judgement enough to not hide the box. You should now trust your own judgement too, not internet strangers.

Most of the people here probably think that your husband hid those magazines from you, and that you should be disgusted.

I think that you always knew about them, maybe bought your husband a subscription at one time, and even enjoyed reading them yourself once in a while. You know that there is nothing wrong with a Playboy or Penthouse. You and your husband turned out just fine. My suggestion would be to turn the box over to your husband and let him make the decision on what to do with it. This might be one of the few times that mom shouldn't be seen as being so hip. Even though she is secretly the one in charge.

My teenage daughters come home from school everyday, and tell us about their friends. I can't believe how naive 18 year old girls are about their bodies, how the world works, and life in general. The worst ones are superprotected by their ultrareligious parents, that hide everything from their kids. Those poor kids have NO decision making abilities at all. When they are older, they are the ones that will falter in life.

Kids only become fixated on something when their parents turn it into a big deal, or taboo that should never be talked about. Guns, booze, sex, parties, or anything else. There is no big fascination unless it's hidden away or banned.
Did I buy my husband a subscription at some point????? No!!!! If I was so relaxed about the porno issue I would not talk about it on here. I would have no problem admitting looking at porn but I don't! I don't agree with it and already have it bundled up into bon fire logs for our next camping trip.
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Old 05-14-2007, 06:59 AM
 
Location: York, UK
89 posts, read 341,756 times
Reputation: 29
I remember when I was 15/16 my buddies used to get hold of penthouse and hustle via a rather tall guy that looked over 18. I guess we were curious. My mum was against all that though and I'm not sure I'd feel now if I had kids of that age. I must say as far as I know it's not done me any harm long term but it was never a major thrill for me.
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Old 05-14-2007, 07:18 AM
 
1,608 posts, read 9,025,059 times
Reputation: 936
Throw them all out or in the recycling bin. I would not give them to my child, you are feeding the desire! They are not gold, toss them in the trash (which is what they are). Or.. put them for sale (the whole lot of them) in one ad on craigslist. I bet someone else that likes to look at fake boobies and airbrushed **** will e-mail you to arrange buying them from you.
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Old 05-14-2007, 07:21 AM
 
504 posts, read 1,619,457 times
Reputation: 324
Have him read the articles.
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Old 05-14-2007, 11:34 AM
 
Location: Happiness is found inside your smile :)
3,178 posts, read 13,170,723 times
Reputation: 1256
Honestly? Play boy is so harmless

Let him pick a few of his favorties and then guess what - SELL THE REST ON EBAY!

Letting him have open expression for his sexual expression and needs is better in the long run then closing him out - he'll only have a higher desire for something forbidden
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