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They can't enforce it but they do encourage it, as do the US adoption agencies and social workers.
As some who has adopted twice (Asian children but not Chinese or Korean) I can't imagine anyone doing it because its "trendy," really, it isn't like you fill out a form and they send you a child. Its a difficult drawn out process that costs a lot and involves risk and quite a bit of money.
Two interesting points as well regarding those "trendy" Asian girls. Korea doesn't allow adoptive parents to specify gender and the wait to adopt from China is at this point nearly 5 years long, its very difficult to have a trend that one must wait 5 years for...
Sorry if I come off as offended but these are actual children you're talking about, my children included, or maybe just my daughter. Anyway, she isn't a trend, she's just a little girl.
They can't enforce it but they do encourage it, as do the US adoption agencies and social workers.
As some who has adopted twice (Asian children but not Chinese or Korean) I can't imagine anyone doing it because its "trendy," really, it isn't like you fill out a form and they send you a child. Its a difficult drawn out process that costs a lot and involves risk and quite a bit of money.
Two interesting points as well regarding those "trendy" Asian girls. Korea doesn't allow adoptive parents to specify gender and the wait to adopt from China is at this point nearly 5 years long, its very difficult to have a trend that one must wait 5 years for...
Sorry if I come off as offended but these are actual children you're talking about, my children included, or maybe just my daughter. Anyway, she isn't a trend, she's just a little girl.
Many people will travel overseas and adopt the baby straight from an overseas agency rather than go through the time, cost, and red tape of going through an American adoption agency.
I don't know if you realize this or not, but baby girls are unwanted in China and, many times, people will just throw them away or toss them on a street. This is FACT, not some story I heard about. This is probably why many people will go straight to China to "adopt" directly from there (or possibly "buy" the baby)
As far as the "trendy" part of it.... Yes, it does seem to be a trend. I see it all the time in Manhattan --- these young, White, wealthy couples (gay and straight) with an Asian child or children. Why not adopt a child from the US or a Black child or a Hispanic child? Or a child from the Ukraine?
I know your daughter is your daughter and you love her more than anything, but Yuppies are very fond of trends and, unfortunately, this seems to be one of them.
Well, at the end of the day though, these kids are still better off than they would have been if no one adopted them. Growing up in an Asian orphanage probably isn't a good thing.
Our children come from very diverse roots. We do our best to help our children learn about their ancestory. There is such a lack of that now that there is even a lack of understanding of their own grandparents lives, let alone anything further back than that. The roots have always been celebrated and taught well on DH's side but not as much on my side and I have always looked to learn about the traditions and why they are celebrated. Traditions now are not celebrated for what they really mean. They are just followed mindlessly with any thought to teach children where these things originated from our Christmas trees and ivy to Easter eggs and the traditions from coloring from dying them red from onion skins to the food we eat to dress, music, ect. There is no respect or understanding. Our kids have been taught a wide spectrum and from their understanding and respect of the various cultures they came from, they will grow up to be more tolerant and respectful of others who are attempting to teach other children from various backgrounds where they came from.
I am thinking of a rendezvous we attended. As part of the lesson I was teaching, the children helped to make their own clothes for the event and learned to throw tomahawks, learned how people from that time period communicated, how they lived, and even as far as going out to the woods and teaching our children about some of the plants and how they were used back then. Would you have said the same thing with us gushing over our daughter dressed in a pioneer dress and in pigtails or our sons with black pants from playing in the firt all day and goofy shirts during a stop we made to eat on the way back home?
We plan on going to a renaissance fair, war reenactments, ect and plan on dressing for the occasion, in clothes we made that our children are allowed to wear in plubic in other places if they wish. Heck, we might even do themed Christmas pics this way.
I am just glad that this girl was not adopted for the sole purpose of making her grow up to carry on the "traditions" of cultures that are lack in women's rights.
Many people will travel overseas and adopt the baby straight from an overseas agency rather than go through the time, cost, and red tape of going through an American adoption agency.
I don't know if you realize this or not, but baby girls are unwanted in China and, many times, people will just throw them away or toss them on a street. This is FACT, not some story I heard about. This is probably why many people will go straight to China to "adopt" directly from there (or possibly "buy" the baby)
As far as the "trendy" part of it.... Yes, it does seem to be a trend. I see it all the time in Manhattan --- these young, White, wealthy couples (gay and straight) with an Asian child or children. Why not adopt a child from the US or a Black child or a Hispanic child? Or a child from the Ukraine?
I know your daughter is your daughter and you love her more than anything, but Yuppies are very fond of trends and, unfortunately, this seems to be one of them.
You are missing to tell the full deal here. Things are changing. Way back in high school I was friends with a Chinese foreign exchange student. She had one sibling, a girl. I'd been taught about these horrors as I'd heard them all my life through church. I always heard that families were only allowed one child and horror stories, that I am sure were true at some point in history, about China making parents choose which child to kill if they had more than one. I know that there is more pressure on the poorer segment about birth control, as there is here in America...poorer people generally have more kids than middle class and above, which results in a bigger financial burden on the tax payers.
While I am sure there is plenty of this still going on, there is a cultural swing in China about this. Basically, the benefits that family recieve here in the good old USA increase with the more children we have while they decrease in China. Therefore, it is in the benefit of families to have one child, usually hoping for a boy since they'd be the only way to continue the family name. Girls are often more likely to be abandoned or adopted out but if you look around the world, you're going to see the same tragedies to some degree in every inhabited country in the world. But there are plenty of little girls alive and well living in China. How else would they continue their race?
To give an example, there is a woman I know who spends the school year teaching Eskimo children. She is 23 years old and brings her husband. She was saying something about being able to retire in 5 years so her husband is there for company and keeps himself busy with odd jobs. Anyway, she gets there and the Eskimo women are amazed that she does not yet have children. A women tells her that another women she knows is having a child and she can have it. She was more than a bit surprised because it wasn't like she even talked to the other woman. She found out that they do that, they swap babies, if a woman looses her husband they might give her their teenage son to do the muscle work for her, and if a woman can not have children, they make sure they get one.
We are quite shocked by different cultures, as the same people are with ours. The first thing though, when you are adopting a child from another country, you have to be prepared to share with them their healthy heritage, realizing that every aspect isn;t bad.
Well, at the end of the day though, these kids are still better off than they would have been if no one adopted them. Growing up in an Asian orphanage probably isn't a good thing.
Yeah, I spent some time in one of those. Trust me, being the "trendy new pet" is paradise compared to that.
I'll admit though, I'm glad my mother adopted me long before it became trendy, so she didn't parade me around in native garments or shove my native culture down my throat.
Edit: I'm not saying most people who adopt Asian kids nowadays are doing it just to be trendy but, from my observations, some do.
Last edited by Kaye02; 10-24-2009 at 09:45 PM..
Reason: Adding....
Many people will travel overseas and adopt the baby straight from an overseas agency rather than go through the time, cost, and red tape of going through an American adoption agency.
I don't know if you realize this or not, but baby girls are unwanted in China and, many times, people will just throw them away or toss them on a street. This is FACT, not some story I heard about. This is probably why many people will go straight to China to "adopt" directly from there (or possibly "buy" the baby)
As far as the "trendy" part of it.... Yes, it does seem to be a trend. I see it all the time in Manhattan --- these young, White, wealthy couples (gay and straight) with an Asian child or children. Why not adopt a child from the US or a Black child or a Hispanic child? Or a child from the Ukraine?
I know your daughter is your daughter and you love her more than anything, but Yuppies are very fond of trends and, unfortunately, this seems to be one of them.
You cannot "go straight to China" and adopt a baby from there. I'm sorry but that's the most ignorant thing I've ever heard. Chinese adoptions are run through the Chinese government, the wait is FIVE YEARS and you need US IMMIGRATION APPROVAL to return with any adopted child to the US, you CANNOT go "buy" a baby in ANY COUNTRY without US immigration clearance. Do you really think you can hop a plane to Asia and show up with a baby in immigration...uh NO.
This kind of stereotype is extremely wrong. As for adopting from the US, well believe it or not there aren't just thousands of kids sitting around to be adopted in the US, instead there are thousands of parents waiting on lists for kids. I'd love to adopt from Ethiopia or Haiti and we might if I can get my husband to commit to one more child and as for Hispanic children, thousands were adopted from Guatemala before it closed, more than China several years.
This is frankly just something that ignorant people make sweeping generalizations about, when they know nothing.
Some facts for people who care to actually learn about international adoption.
http://www.jcics.org/Frequently_Asked_Questions.htm#where%20do%20I%20st art (broken link)
My brother and sister-in-law were on the waiting list for more than a year to adopt from Russia - then Russia closed adoptions. Then then got on the waiting list for China. Took I think 2 or 3 years. Much longer now if someone is starting the process. Lots and lots of red tape. The Chinese government is very strict.
They adopted a girl that was almost 3. They brought her home last February. It has been a long process and scary at first for them because of a lot of issues she had being in the orphanage so long. But the progress she is making is unbelievable.
Many people will travel overseas and adopt the baby straight from an overseas agency rather than go through the time, cost, and red tape of going through an American adoption agency.
I don't know if you realize this or not, but baby girls are unwanted in China and, many times, people will just throw them away or toss them on a street. This is FACT, not some story I heard about. This is probably why many people will go straight to China to "adopt" directly from there (or possibly "buy" the baby)
I think you need to educate yourself about the international adoption process because what you've said shows a lack of familiarity with adoptions from abroad.
It is very time-consuming to adopt from abroad. You will wait YEARS before you can adopt. In some countries, say Sri Lanka for example, they approve maybe 1-2 adoptions to Americans a year. China has added new requirements for prospective adoptive parents - they can't be significantly overweight, no older than 50 years of age, must be married, etc.
It's hardly a case of going there and picking out the baby/toddler of your choice.
I think most people who do adopt from Asian countries are more than familiar with the preference for boys over girls. My friend has two daughters from China. One child was found at a crowded bus stop; the other was left at an orphanage. People do adopt from the USA. I have two other friends who adopted domestically. They both adopted their children through the foster care program. The friend of mine that adopted from China said he and his wife did so because they were concerned about fetal alcohol exposure and drug exposure in domestic adoptions and adoptions from Eastern Europe. They felt such exposure was more common in adoptions from those regions. Now I don't know how true that it is but that was his sentiment, and he told me that others in his adoption support group felt the same way.
Wow--I'm glad to see my original post spawned such a spirited thread. Thanks for all your comments. And in closing, in my opinion, the adopting of chinese and korean kids IS inarguably a trend in the U.S. Of that there is no doubt; the only disputed is as to what the intentions of the parents are: are they trend-following, image-conscience, Subaru driving, hummus-eating yupsters? Who adopt and treat these kids like proud owners at an elite dog show? Yes.
Or are they simply altruistic, concerned, well-meaning folks who want to give these kids the American dream? Well, yes.
It's both.
One thing for sure, this sure has turned into a nice little cottage industry for the Korean and Chinese governments, huh?
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