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Old 05-11-2007, 09:23 AM
 
548 posts, read 2,393,493 times
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Well, I'm going to take a different position. I read recently that 30 years ago, 95% of children were daytime potty trained by age 2. Today that number is under 30%. Based on the posts above, sounds like it might be right. There are also many nations whose cultural norms have kids trained by 2. I had all 3 of my kids (2 girls, 1 boy) trained by 2. It was not stressful for them, it was not "too early." Here's my view on it:

When a child is 18 months, you tell him "time to dressed" in the morning, then you get him dressed. He doesn't really fight you (mostly!) b/c he accepts that's just the way things are. Now...if you tell a 2-3 year old "time to get dressed" they are more likely to fight back ("that's not what I want to wear!" or whatever). Why? B/c they know they have some power now!!

So...if you take an 18 month old, and take off the diaper and let him play bare-bottomed, he will eventually pee. Calmly pick him up and take him to the potty and say "pee goes here sweetie." (btw, boys sit on the potty til they have the system down) Never mention accidents, just quietly clean them up and praise whatever makes it into the potty. This takes work on your part b/c you have to be within arms reach whenever he's bare bottomed. I'd do it a couple of hours/day. I never nagged, never asked "do you have to go potty" which must be really annoying to kids! etc. Just showed them where it goes. When their diaper was on, I didn't mention anything about the potty at all. They accepted that, just like they accepted getting dressed in the morning. "OH, ok. I guess I do this..." They got the hang of it and were done by 2.

Now, if you wait til 2+, the child is in a stage where he's fighting back more, testing limits, etc. so basically if you've waited that long, you're going to have to keep waiting til he decides (not really you) that he's ready. This may not be til well after 3 years of age. So when people say "he wasn't ready" it usually means they didn't start early enough in my opinion. They waited til he decided no thanks...and had to wait it out.

For me, I am really opposed to the waste created with diapers (both disposable and the energy used in washing cloth) and did not want to contribute to that for 1-2 years more than necessary. But also...if you spend the time training correctly early, they get it, they aren't "scarred" by it, and it's over with. It is more work than waiting til they are 3, but THREE? No thanks! Environmental waste, not to mention I don't really want a rank 3-yo diaper needing a change constantly.

So that's another approach..
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Old 05-11-2007, 10:47 AM
 
Location: NJ
12,284 posts, read 30,949,306 times
Reputation: 5190
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaimounaKande View Post
Well, I'm going to take a different position. I read recently that 30 years ago, 95% of children were daytime potty trained by age 2. Today that number is under 30%. Based on the posts above, sounds like it might be right. There are also many nations whose cultural norms have kids trained by 2. I had all 3 of my kids (2 girls, 1 boy) trained by 2. It was not stressful for them, it was not "too early." Here's my view on it:

When a child is 18 months, you tell him "time to dressed" in the morning, then you get him dressed. He doesn't really fight you (mostly!) b/c he accepts that's just the way things are. Now...if you tell a 2-3 year old "time to get dressed" they are more likely to fight back ("that's not what I want to wear!" or whatever). Why? B/c they know they have some power now!!

So...if you take an 18 month old, and take off the diaper and let him play bare-bottomed, he will eventually pee. Calmly pick him up and take him to the potty and say "pee goes here sweetie." (btw, boys sit on the potty til they have the system down) Never mention accidents, just quietly clean them up and praise whatever makes it into the potty. This takes work on your part b/c you have to be within arms reach whenever he's bare bottomed. I'd do it a couple of hours/day. I never nagged, never asked "do you have to go potty" which must be really annoying to kids! etc. Just showed them where it goes. When their diaper was on, I didn't mention anything about the potty at all. They accepted that, just like they accepted getting dressed in the morning. "OH, ok. I guess I do this..." They got the hang of it and were done by 2.

Now, if you wait til 2+, the child is in a stage where he's fighting back more, testing limits, etc. so basically if you've waited that long, you're going to have to keep waiting til he decides (not really you) that he's ready. This may not be til well after 3 years of age. So when people say "he wasn't ready" it usually means they didn't start early enough in my opinion. They waited til he decided no thanks...and had to wait it out.

For me, I am really opposed to the waste created with diapers (both disposable and the energy used in washing cloth) and did not want to contribute to that for 1-2 years more than necessary. But also...if you spend the time training correctly early, they get it, they aren't "scarred" by it, and it's over with. It is more work than waiting til they are 3, but THREE? No thanks! Environmental waste, not to mention I don't really want a rank 3-yo diaper needing a change constantly.

So that's another approach..
*shrug* - I'm glad it worked for you! I stated I trained in 1 day - no fights or testing limits. As another posted said - it was the easiest thing I never had to do.

I've also heard that back when I was a baby everyone was trained by 2. I have super-8 movies when I was 2.5yr old - wearing a diaper. Of course, this doesn't prove anything, but I wonder if these moms now have selective memory!
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Old 05-11-2007, 10:55 AM
 
Location: NW Atlanta
1,372 posts, read 4,757,117 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tahiti View Post
*shrug* - I'm glad it worked for you! I stated I trained in 1 day - no fights or testing limits. As another posted said - it was the easiest thing I never had to do.
I've also heard that back when I was a baby everyone was trained by 2. I have super-8 movies when I was 2.5yr old - wearing a diaper. Of course, this doesn't prove anything, but I wonder if these moms now have selective memory!
yeah that was my son

But honestly i don't remember how old he was I think he was about 2 or 2.5
I just stated he watched and learned

well anyway I know he was a little older because before that he tried to put his hand in the "stream of water" if ya know what i mean
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Old 05-11-2007, 11:01 AM
 
Location: among the chaos
2,136 posts, read 4,304,250 times
Reputation: 980
Default love this

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaimounaKande View Post

So...if you take an 18 month old, and take off the diaper and let him play bare-bottomed, he will eventually pee. Calmly pick him up and take him to the potty and say "pee goes here sweetie." (btw, boys sit on the potty til they have the system down) Never mention accidents, just quietly clean them up and praise whatever makes it into the potty. This takes work on your part b/c you have to be within arms reach whenever he's bare bottomed. I'd do it a couple of hours/day. I never nagged, never asked "do you have to go potty" which must be really annoying to kids! etc. Just showed them where it goes. When their diaper was on, I didn't mention anything about the potty at all. They accepted that, just like they accepted getting dressed in the morning. "OH, ok. I guess I do this..." They got the hang of it and were done by 2.

So that's another approach..

Wow, this sounds so simple. No offense, but this is the way I have trained a puppy (with great results). If he would have an accident of the floor, I would calmly walk him to the back door, let him out and explain it (haha). Then later I would take him out after eating.

Now, here I am with my 5th and final child (boy, no less) and he's 2-1/2. Still not trained, but working on it.

Here's another ????. My 6 year old daughter is still wearing pull-ups at night and waking up wet. What do I do here? Her younger siblings (except the 2-1/2 YO are completely trained).
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Old 05-11-2007, 11:07 AM
 
Location: NW Atlanta
1,372 posts, read 4,757,117 times
Reputation: 419
Quote:
Originally Posted by weatherologist View Post
Wow, this sounds so simple. No offense, but this is the way I have trained a puppy (with great results). If he would have an accident of the floor, I would calmly walk him to the back door, let him out and explain it (haha). Then later I would take him out after eating.

Now, here I am with my 5th and final child (boy, no less) and he's 2-1/2. Still not trained, but working on it.

Here's another ????. My 6 year old daughter is still wearing pull-ups at night and waking up wet. What do I do here? Her younger siblings (except the 2-1/2 YO are completely trained).
this one is easy

Some children sleep so soundly (what a blessing) that they can incorporate into their dream that they are actually getting up and going to the bathroom
YES IN THEIR DREAM (trust me I was one of those children)

my parents actually would come in at night before they went to bed and wake me up take me to the bathroom and then put me back to bed
it took about 3 weeks but I started getting up on my own and going

I hope this helps
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Old 05-11-2007, 11:18 AM
 
Location: among the chaos
2,136 posts, read 4,304,250 times
Reputation: 980
Default thanks

Quote:
Originally Posted by dncngrl1964 View Post
this one is easy

Some children sleep so soundly (what a blessing) that they can incorporate into their dream that they are actually getting up and going to the bathroom
YES IN THEIR DREAM (trust me I was one of those children)

my parents actually would come in at night before they went to bed and wake me up take me to the bathroom and then put me back to bed
it took about 3 weeks but I started getting up on my own and going

I hope this helps
This has been suggested to me. I think that I've just been to lazy or tired to go that route. Of course, no one ever said that she would eventually start waking on her own. I thought that it meant she would eventually gain better bladder control and until then, it was all me.

I will start this soon.

Thanks again.
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Old 05-11-2007, 11:30 AM
 
Location: NJ
12,284 posts, read 30,949,306 times
Reputation: 5190
Quote:
Originally Posted by weatherologist View Post
This has been suggested to me. I think that I've just been to lazy or tired to go that route. Of course, no one ever said that she would eventually start waking on her own. I thought that it meant she would eventually gain better bladder control and until then, it was all me.

I will start this soon.

Thanks again.

I agree with that advice too. You can't force night training - it's a brain issue and it won't come until it comes. My 8 yr old occassionally wakes up a tad wet, it isn't considered a problem until age 10 or so.
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Old 05-11-2007, 12:07 PM
 
Location: among the chaos
2,136 posts, read 4,304,250 times
Reputation: 980
Default wet bed

Quote:
Originally Posted by tahiti View Post
I agree with that advice too. You can't force night training - it's a brain issue and it won't come until it comes. My 8 yr old occassionally wakes up a tad wet, it isn't considered a problem until age 10 or so.
Thanks, again. My SIL keeps telling me that both she and my husband were bed wetters until late. I guess I'll just stick it out.
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Old 05-11-2007, 03:27 PM
 
548 posts, read 2,393,493 times
Reputation: 356
I totally agree with that. I think it varies widely. One of my daughters has had ONE accident since she was 2.5 (at night). She's my oldest, so I figured that was how it would be w/all 3. My 2nd was dry at night by 3, but she still very occasionally (like 2X/year) has an accident at night. She's 5 now. And my 3rd is just about to turn 3 and there is NO WAY he's going through the night any time soon!!

As for the puppy training , yeh, to be honest, it's exactly how I trained my dog. Worked well with kids too. I think the problem is when people try to force the child to train (get mad if they make mistakes, etc). That will backfire I think....but just doing it calmly early does not make for confrontation. At least in my experience...I am just offering up another view--esp. if you're concerned about the waste of diapers, etc. but I know everyone does things differently. My best friend's son is 3.5 and not at all trained. She's a great mom and I love her--just does some things differently!
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Old 05-13-2007, 09:22 PM
jco jco started this thread
 
Location: Austin
2,120 posts, read 5,862,910 times
Reputation: 1389
I wanted to thank everyone for their input. It was nice to hear different sides of the issue and to get some great advice. I think I will go ahead and start potty training. I'm hoping that by staying home I'll be able to offer a little more consistency in this area. If it's clear he's just not ready, I'll put the diaper back on and try again later!
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