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Old 11-11-2009, 07:30 PM
Status: "Mistress of finance and foods." (set 18 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
50,010 posts, read 63,335,877 times
Reputation: 92519

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I'll start by saying my kids are grown and all very responsible adults, who for the most part do not spank their kids. They were all spanked once when they were toddlers, before they had much language, and after that they listened because they knew I meant business, and once or twice in the case of something life dangering. They can all probably remember each incident because they were rare and important. These incidents were things like, standing on a well, riding a bike across the street without looking, etc.
I would absolutely do it again.

 
Old 11-12-2009, 07:13 AM
 
3,769 posts, read 8,761,267 times
Reputation: 3773
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stangdrivin View Post
Ok, 1st and foremost I am new to the forum and this site but enjoy it! I have a 9 month old son and as a new parent I would like to think I'm doing well being that I have had experience in watching close friends with their kids and being the oldest of 5 within my family. My son is wonderful, very happy child, sees me and always greets me with a smile no matter what but lately it seems like he's trying to start his own personality and I don't want it going in the wrong direction. If I leave the room instead of him crying it sounds like he's just plain yelling until I come back in which it stops. I take him out and sit him with me while I get dressed in the morning and he's calm. I try to get him dressed and now it seems like he fights me on that also so I dont know if this is the beginning of things to come or if I stand firm will he understand? I think he does because when I tell him "NO" he will notice it and start crying...I just remember as a child me being spanked lightly (old school) as a reminder or as a startle to notice that I'm doing wrong, but at what age is that ok? I don't want him growing up as that child that no one wants to babysit or be around because he's now all of a sudden cranky all the time.

thoughts?

Dont spank - particularly a child who cant understand why. Needless to say - I dont spank, hit - whatever you choose to call it. I had a very cranky, irritable toddler - who no one wanted to babysit because he was a nightmare - never hit him and now he is an absolute joy - my sitters compliment how calm and mellow he (and his older sister) is. It was well worth the investment in taking the time to be patient with my children - i had them after all and if I wasnt ready - then I shouldnt have.

Ugg - the thought of spanking a baby (even lightly) makes me sick to my stomach!
 
Old 11-12-2009, 09:50 PM
 
6 posts, read 12,498 times
Reputation: 19
How would you like it if your husband gave you a whack whenever you did something that angered him?

I have two toddlers and I'd never spank them. I put them in their rooms or raise my voice and they know to behave.

I think it's disgusting to slap a child. You don't just go hit someone when you are upset with them. Plus it's YOUR baby..- that should be the one human being you wouldn't want to hurt.

My friend spanks and her kid hits mine. That should tell you something..
 
Old 11-13-2009, 03:08 PM
 
1 posts, read 3,257 times
Reputation: 11
I have a 13 month old daughter. I belive we have taught her what the word NO means, however, Im sure she has no idea between right and wrong.

When the word "NO" no longer works we do tap the hand or bottom. It works great and she is still a happy and very playful baby. She still gives us endless kisses. Spankings do not equal resentment.

My husband and I were both spanked as children and there is no resentment towards our parents. If anything we respected our parents.
 
Old 11-17-2009, 04:45 PM
 
Location: Michigan
937 posts, read 2,825,935 times
Reputation: 414
Quote:
Originally Posted by JandR79 View Post
How would you like it if your husband gave you a whack whenever you did something that angered him?

I have two toddlers and I'd never spank them. I put them in their rooms or raise my voice and they know to behave.

I think it's disgusting to slap a child. You don't just go hit someone when you are upset with them. Plus it's YOUR baby..- that should be the one human being you wouldn't want to hurt.

My friend spanks and her kid hits mine. That should tell you something..
Growing up, I was spanked but I never hit another person. I had a friend who got away with anything because the parents never disciplined him, and he was always in fights. Back to the drawing board for you.
 
Old 11-17-2009, 04:55 PM
 
Location: Michigan
937 posts, read 2,825,935 times
Reputation: 414
Quote:
Originally Posted by mama.cald View Post
I have a 13 month old daughter. I belive we have taught her what the word NO means, however, Im sure she has no idea between right and wrong.

When the word "NO" no longer works we do tap the hand or bottom. It works great and she is still a happy and very playful baby. She still gives us endless kisses. Spankings do not equal resentment.

My husband and I were both spanked as children and there is no resentment towards our parents. If anything we respected our parents.
And as a result, you respect authority as well.
 
Old 11-21-2009, 08:38 PM
 
3,004 posts, read 3,872,935 times
Reputation: 2028
Quote:
Originally Posted by JandR79 View Post
My friend spanks and her kid hits mine. That should tell you something..
Well then your friend is not spanking her kids hard enough! Violent impulses are human nature and the desire to hit another is innate; spanking doesn't "teach kids to hit." What a bunch of BS.

To the OP, please don't even tap your 9 month old baby. At his age, he is experiencing separation anxiety, which is probably why he cries when you leave out of sight. It may sound like an angry cry rather than a distress cry, but that's okay. It's understandable that he gets angry when you leave because it makes him anxious!

In my opinion, a baby is a baby until around age two. I wouldn't employ swats or paddling until after that age. I also agree with the poster who said use spanking sparingly so that it retains its impact. If you find you are spanking all the time, you are doing something wrong!
 
Old 11-21-2009, 09:27 PM
 
1,571 posts, read 2,805,488 times
Reputation: 661
Quote:
Originally Posted by chattypatty View Post
Well then your friend is not spanking her kids hard enough!
So if someone spanks a kid hard enough that it leaves a bruise, he/she will benefit from it??
According to you, the harder you spank, the less likely the kid will get in trouble? You're the one with the BS for thinking every child will react the same....
 
Old 11-22-2009, 08:57 PM
 
3,004 posts, read 3,872,935 times
Reputation: 2028
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol View Post
So if someone spanks a kid hard enough that it leaves a bruise, he/she will benefit from it??
According to you, the harder you spank, the less likely the kid will get in trouble? You're the one with the BS for thinking every child will react the same....
Who said anything about leaving a bruise? Why are you imagining conversations that never occurred??

If your friend does not have control of her children, then spanking is not working, likely because she is not doing it right.
 
Old 11-22-2009, 09:05 PM
 
1,571 posts, read 2,805,488 times
Reputation: 661
Quote:
Originally Posted by chattypatty View Post
Who said anything about leaving a bruise? Why are you imagining conversations that never occurred??

If your friend does not have control of her children, then spanking is not working, likely because she is not doing it right.
There are other ways of having control of the kids as well. Not that I imagine, but that are some that will still overdo it or apply it while yelling at the same time.
Ever thought that maybe the friend doesn't have good discipline skills? What I never is many still tend to confuse that discipline have to necessary mean spanking. One can be a spanker but terrible at it and a non-spanker that's terrible as well too.
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